Personal Blather!

This might seem irrelevant to most people since it's hall specific, but after the SGM last night and the 'discussion' I had with Mei Kit, I decided to blog a little about what I think about hall, where it stands, and just what I think we should expect in the coming months.

IHG is just over and people are finally able to settle down somewhat. Sports people are happy, although as we've established in the SGM, we shouldn't stop training just because of that. Raffles Hall won gold for Handball, which is exciting since it's one of our hall's best sport. We did pretty well in a lot of other sports, finished 2nd and 3rd a lot but denied a lot of golds unfortunately. I think our sports are doing pretty ok compared to last year, but I must admit that it is frustrating always having to fight from the bottom of the table. Admittedly we're not exactly a sports hall, and not everyone in hall is sporty (in fact generally, most aren't). We'd like to think ourselves more culturally inclined, but even then it's not to say that our culture scene is extremely remarkable.

This academic year has not been a very good one for Raffles Hall. It's generally accepted that this was because of a not so good Raffles Experience (basically Orientation). It may not be the fault of the organisers entirely, but the fact that it wasn't very successful caused a snowball effect that we're still trying to fight off now. The support from our first years are unfortunately, below the level that we wanted. I don't think it's an attitude problem, but the first years this year aren't hall focussed, or at least not as much as we'd like them to be. It's not a right or wrong question, but just where you want to place your time and effort. Sadly for Raffles Hall, most don't seem to want to put it into hall, resulting in lacklustre support in a lot of hall activities. This is by no means attributed only to the first years, because an increasing number of seniors too after being overtaxed, feel like taking a step back from hall. It's sad, but it's happening, and if anything, some people ought to take note of a couple of things.

I think that people need to change with times. No, I'm not advocating change for the sake of changing, but considering the fact that most people who come into university now expect to be treated like adults, it seems highly unwise to do traditional 'ragging'. No company you work for would organise an event (even in team bonding activities organised by external parties) where ragging would take place of a particular person. It's true that probably 20 years ago, (or maybe even as close back as 5), it was generally acceptable in halls or hostels. Do it now and you're likely to land yourself in trouble. It's not the army, so they don't want that kind authoritative activity with seniors lording it over them. Face it, we're now having a generation of people coming to university and do not expect to be treated like school kids or army cadets. They want respect, and no institutionalised, hierarchical activity is going to help integrate them. To put it simply, give them space to bond and facilitate the activity, not throw them in and crush them in the vain hope that they'll pull together and come out stronger... they'll tell you to get lost and ignore you entirely. They have that right and they know it, simply because they owe you nothing. Your approval of them in hall doesn't matter to them until they know that they matter to you, and going army style won't accomplish that.

For instance, let's take the disability game. For all it's worth, I personally feel it's a good game geared towards forcing people to bond together. However, noting that the attitude of people involved in the activities have changed, it may not be suitable to have someone screaming at them, challenging them, scolding them, being all 'high and mighty' when it's not really necessary. They're not in the army, and many aren't inclined to be open minded when their first impression of you is an idiot merely screaming commands and making life more difficult for them. Hope they'd turn around and see the other side of you? Some might, but I guarantee you that many won't. Perhaps it's the way they were brought up, but we have to accept that they may be turned off and we might just lose a bunch of people who can be really passionate about hall simply because we feel that it's 'right' or 'ok' to scream at them.

Also, I've mentioned earlier that it might be good to change the way things are run such that there are facilitators instead of a 'seperate entity meant only to give instructions' method. Now I know there are reasons, and they're probably very good ones. I just ask that you consider this: are those reasons worth sacrificing the bond between seniors and freshmen? Freshmen come in, see the RHOCers distant and unfriendly, they lose their motivation to stay for the whole orientation. Perhaps this is an individual case, where the fault lies with the RHOCers themselves who fail to also bond with the freshmen, but the fact that it failed to attract them to stay throughout makes you wonder if those reasons mentioned earlier are worth it. I for one, would prefer interested, passionate, enthusiastic freshmen than one who cowers when they're ordered around.

Furthermore, I don't think it's a bad idea for seniors to be told the objectives of certain activities. Yes, I know that by joining RHOC we'd find out, but I feel that having seniors aware of what each activity aims to achive helps seniors support better, be more aware of what's going on, be clear as to what needs to be done, and to work together with RHOC to meet those objectives. I don't think I need to mention the amazing 'Tea Ceremony' we had last orientation...

These are merely some of the things which come to mind right now. I'm sure there are many others, and no I don't think I can list them all right now. Some of you might be thinking that since I'm not in RHOC, I know crap and should just shut the hell up. I'm not in RHOC, nor do I foresee myself wanting to be in RHOC. If and only if after reading through everything you find absolutely NO MERIT, that NOTHING HERE makes sense and you can PROVE it, will I refrain from making any further such comments. I just hope the coming orientation will be an interesting one for both freshmen and the incoming RHOCers.

I almost forgot about this until I read CK's blog. I didn't realise that a question like this would provoke so much uncertainty in so many people. What's the difference? How do you tell one from the other? Does it matter whether or not you can? I may not be able to answer everything, but I do have my own opinions on this issue.

It's important to know the difference because (quoted from Jer Hsuan) "You need to know where you stand so that you can decide what you want to do".

Firstly, I personally think a crush is when you are infatuated by a person, by his/her outer appearance, by his/her actions, mannerisms... all those external things which are what make a first impression. It is the first step to attraction and it may or may not lead to something fruitful, especially since most people realise that crushes are just that; superficial likes which although feels good, isn't necessarily something terribly big.

'Like' however, is a step further. It's when you realise that a person isn't just like every other person, but you also know that the feeling is not merely superficial. When you 'like' a person, you become very aware of that person, and there's a lot of emotions involved. It may or may not progress into something more, but this is the stage where initial courtship takes place I guess. It's the time guys (or girls) try to 'make their move' so to speak. It can easily be confused with a crush, but the distinction is that you know and you know it's not just their outer appearance that attracts you.

The third and I believe most misused of the three is love. IMHO, the phrase 'I love you' has been overused to the point that it is diluted, and people throw it around blatantly without thinking about the gravity of those words. We keep forgetting just how special it ought to be. When do you love a person? I think you love someone when you can come to the point you make a decision to keep liking a person even if you don't 'feel' like it anymore. You love someone when you'd do anything to please that person and make that person happy. You love someone when you'd willingly deny yourself for that person's visions, dreams, aspirations. You truly love someone when the decisions you make show just how much you put that person ahead of yourself, when you do things for that person's sake even if you know and you know that you will gain absolutely nothing out of it. You truly love someone when you expect nothing in return even though you may hope for it. That's what I believe love is, and if that person responds in kind, then you are truly blessed.

But again, this is just my opinion, my personal view on the issue. Some may disagree with me, and I wouldn't be surprised if people have different definitions of all three. However, this is what I believe from the core of my being, it is what I base my own life on. I hope that all of you (whoever reads this blog) think long and hard about your own set of definitions (or feel free to take mine if you agree with them). Valentines Day is coming, I hope everyone of you can enjoy it to the fullest!

Thinking is good. Questioning the many different issues which we are faced with, whether personally or otherwise, is, I suppose, the basis for most philosphers. I don't think of myself as one, but I do realise I do a great deal of thinking... about God, about life, about politics (yes, even *cough*politics*cough*), about studies, about global issues, about friends, about anything and everything. It's an in-built part of me that just strives to ask and keep asking, even when I know I won't get any answers. It's tiring... and it doesn't help.

I realised that thinking is very draining. It takes a lot of time and effort to focus on one subject and to think about it. I know I'm the type of person who can't stand to be bored, but lately, I haven't had much of that feeling (well, at least not literally bored, just maybe a little agitated at the way things are going). Long journeys used to be a real bore, but now, I relish them because I make full use of them, either catching up on rest or contemplating issues which keep my mind occupied. Granted it doesn't always bear fruit, but I just seem to do it a lot... and when I bring it back to myself, how it affects me, what steps do I take now, based on that 'contemplation', I always feel a surge of hope, of enthusiasm. Not a lot, but still there. This is especially true if I end up praying about it.

Thinkers will remain thinkers taking a back seat unless the fruit of the effort and time spent thinking is applied in life. That's what I think. It doesn't matter how profound or deep you can be, if you don't live it out, it means nothing. It doesn't matter how 'right' you may be, you need to put it into action, and I will strive to do just that.

The internet has been lousy lately. Somehow the router doesn't seem to like me. I've been having on/off connections for the past week. I'd really like my room back now thank you. At least I can leave my computer on with the knowledge that at the very least, my antivirus will update itself every morning (and maybe complete a few torrents for me). NUS isn't making it any easier, with so many irritating rules associated with security.

Tired, drained and still have work to do. Lord, please, more discipline and more strength!

Ever wondered what the difference is? For starters, perseverence is considered a positive characteristic, whereas stubbornness is usually attributed as negative. Perseverence is a trait looked for by people, stubbornness is not. They're both pretty similar though, at least similar enough that one can be 'mistaken' for the other. I'm not a walking dictionary, so I don't know the difference in the actual definition of the words, but the words aren't the issue. The fact that they carry similar yet profoundly different connotations tell us that this applies to us too.

The biggest defining point, I think, is perception. A positive perception of the act would be 'perseverence', whereas a negative one would be 'stubbornness'. Take for example, the American Idol phenomenon (Now in it's fifth year). Of all the many different people who turn up, some do so for the fifth time (rejected for the past four years) and get rejected YET AGAIN, by the SAME JUDGES. Some people would attribute this to perseverence, in that no matter how many times they failed, they still picked themselves up and tried again and again. However, viewed in a different light (probably the more critical ones) this would be stubbornness to face the reality that they simply can't do it, because if they WERE up to mark, they'd have qualified. Stubbornness or perseverence?

One way to put to rest this debate would be if that person actually succeeded; Success means that person could do it and through sheer perseverence and willpower finally achieve that goal. Noone would then call it stubbornness. Unfortunately, this is on hindsight and when that person is facing the challenge, it is difficult to tell whether it's stubbornness or perseverence. Does it really matter? I think it does, because if you're being stubborn, you ought to give it up, but if you're persevering, then you shouldn't. (Or at least that's what I believe should be the case) The difficult part would be how to decide what to do... It's not an easy thing if you ask me.

Thank goodness we have God to help us through. If we are led to keep on keeping on, then we take a step of faith, venturing into the unknown, facing uncertainty and possibly ridicule. We decide whether or not it's something we ought to do, and when we do decide, we should do it 100%, or not at all. That's what walking with God is, I think. In times of uncertainty, in times when we feel lost, we can only pray and trust God to guide us through, that whatever He places in our hearts is what He wants us to do, and we go and do it, even though we may not understand why or how. Nay, ESPECIALLY if we don't understand. He's all we've got... He's all I've got.

CNY was fun, but pretty short compared to previous years. Having classes and assignments certainly didn't help liven it up much. I felt that it was rushed and very unfulfilling, but I enjoyed it. It certainly wasn't the best CNY, but at least I wasn't stuck alone... Something which I'm grateful for really...

It also dawned on me that since I'm over 21, I can register to vote. That's a pretty big responsibility (at least to me), and I'll exercise that right considering the sad state of affairs back home just now. Some parties better start bucking up.

 

Short post: This screenie is PROOF that I STILL don't have more than 2MB. Maybe someone can tell me WHY...

It's almost here: The time of year when I go back to visit my grandmother and relatives and 'enjoy' the company of people. The time we singles smile the broadest to all the married people because we receive while they give. The time we eat until we don't know how to stop. The time we perform a lot of traditional practices when we may not even understand it's significance. Yes, it's Chinese New Year, and I'll be heading back home for a few days (Singapore doesn't give holidays) to celebrate it.

So since it's over the weekend, there won't be any weekend services. After all, it's one of the few times we stay home to celebrate and spend time with our family. Therefore, we had our service on Tuesday and Wednesday, and it was fantastic! Pastor Kong really preached a great word that day, so I thought I'd share it with everyone.

Jesus worked a certain way when reaching out to the lost. Luke 10 shows us that when He sent people out, He'd ask them to do a few things, and in a certain order:
1) Bless them
Blessing them means to speak nicely, politely and be friendly!

2) Fellowship with them
Take the time to get to know them, spend time with them, relate to them!

3) Find a need to meet
Pray for them, meet their practical needs

4) Share the gospel
(Self explanatory)

These ought to be done in this order. Sadly we often do it the way WE want to do it, and it just makes things worse.

So what does this have to do with Chinese New Year? Not everyone gets along well with everyone, especially if you're meeting your extended families. There are bound to be friction and disputes, and during this period, it would be great if it didn't worsen, but in fact got resolved. How do we do it?

A very good place to start, is to stop being judgemental and critical of others. Accept everyone regardless of the kind of lifestyle they live. That doesn't mean you condone everything that person does, but we shouldn't be overly righteous and try to impose what we THINK righteousness is.

In life, there's a spectrum of things. On one end, we have some of the things which are undisputedly moral; things like peace, holiness, mercy, compassion... love... The other end consists of things we know and we know are immoral; like killing, stealing, lying, cheating... but in between that is a GREY area which has things that are AMORAL. These things are like fashion, style, culture, food. Do you think that if and only if you eat a certain type of food, then God counts you as righteous? Do you think that if and only if you wear a certain kind of clothes, obey certain customs, follow certain cultures, only then God will count you as righteous? Obviously not! These things are amoral. They are neither right or wrong... at least not in general.

The bible tells us that Christians should be the most liberated people on earth, simply because we should not be governed by doctrines which are not in the bible. Paul explains that the liberal Christians are the STRONG Christians, people who live by faith, not be what they can or cannot do. That's not the license to go and do whatever we want... but it is not right for the conservative to judge the more liberal ones for say, eating meat. Nor is it right for those who eat meat to look down on those who don't. We sin not when we DO these things, but when we DO them without faith. So a Christian who feels it is OK to drink wine and does so believing truly that wine is a gift from God and does NOT indulge in drunkedness does not sin against God, but a person who feels frightened or threatened that drinking is not unto God yet drinks, he/she is guilty of sin. It is not right or wrong, but faith; which is to do what you really believe in your heart!

Again I say, this is not a license to do what you please without remorse. A truly strong Christian who loves God would be wise not to let himself fall into bondage, which is what indulging too much in these things can lead to. We ought to be led by the Holy Spirit, but if He's not strong in you, how can you be led?

So don't act the Holy Spirit. Living by rules is easier than living in freedom, because when you have freedom, you also have responsibility. Based on this, we ought not to be too judgemental over other people. We may not condone the smoking habit of a relative, but that does not mean we can't love and accept the person who does. Bless them, fellowship with them, be there for them, and this CNY could just be the time you soften their hearts and bring them to Christ!

This is important even for non-Christians. People don't care how much you know till they know how much you care. Be less judgemental of the minor insignificant things (like food, dressing etc) and it would go a long way to improve relationships.

I'm trying my best to improve the ones I have, some are doing well... but that's another story.

I just cleared up one of the email accounts I have which was overflowing with emails I never read. I have many email accounts, probably too many. I frequently check one or two, but the rest I check only occasionally. The truth is, I really thought about giving up on my current email, because it's small and the service isn't all that great. Gmail is so much better, but it's a pain to have to tell everyone since there are some people holding on to my current one which I don't even know but might want to contact me in the future. Plus, a great deal of people wouldn't even bother to note that I've changed emails. I get spammed like crazy on my current one, and it's getting quite irritating. Gmail has lots of spam too, but at least it has a huge inbox that I don't have to clean it every few days.

So let's count the number of email accoutns I have. 1 Hotmail, 1 Yahoo, 1 Gmail, 1 NUS account, 1 SOC account... that's FIVE. (And they wanted to have a Hall one too...) Not to mention some of them which I literally NEVER check anymore (Like Lycos =/) The main one I use is Hotmail (Which just happens to be the one with the SMALLEST space). The yahoo account is used to handle spam (although I wouldn't mind changing it to the Hotmail one except for the reasons mentioned above) whereas the Gmail account is used primarily for family emails (Since family members are one of the few who have that account). NUS account is for University administration emails naturally, and the SOC one for Faculty administration.

I'm stuck, stuck because even though I'd like to condense all of these into ONE account, or at least reduce the number of accounts I have, it's really difficult. Hotmail, being the main one which I check the most often, and which most people use to contact me, cannot contain all the information I want it to with such a small inbox. I want it to be the size of Gmail, but again, it's hard to migrate over because I don't like changing my email so much, particularly since a lot of old friends and acquantances whom I have not met for a very long time, have just this one contact of me. Changing over might mean losing in touch totally with them.

Solution? I thought of slowly migrating over, but the more people I meet, the more people come to take my current one as the main one. This has to stop I guess, if I'm serious about migrating. If not, I'd be stuck with Hotmail till goodness knows when... it wouldn't be so bad if they actually had plans to expand their size... I regret making it my main email, but it IS, so I have to live with it... at least for now.

I wonder how many people face the same problem. It's just like a phone number (more pertinent in Singapore I guess). Once you get a new number (or email) people instantly lose your contact, especially those people you don't meet often. I don't even know why I got so many different emails...

Yes, this is a rant! I just wished I had been smarter... then I wouldn't be in this predicament. We always wish we could go back and change those things, just like in a computer game. I wished I could click the 'Load' button and go back to where I was before... Well, we all wish we could, but it's obvious we can't... we can only hope that it can be remedied in the future... (Yes, I really do hope Hotmail finally wisens up and gives us our 1 GB of space! Even 100 MB would be great...)

*sigh* Microsoft *shrug*

Words are powerful things that can make and break a person. The bible places a lot of emphasis on knowing when to say, what to say and how to say things. It is something that we all have to learn and grow from. Taming the tongue is one of the hardest thing a person should learn how to do. What Ps Kong said is true; It doesn't matter how presentable you are if the moment you open your mouth, whatever that comes out isn't pleasing to the ear. It's difficult to get past words, and that's the way people are. People have a tendency to hold on to your words, even if it wasn't in the way you meant it. This is when miscommunication and misunderstandings occur, and as I'm sure everyone is well aware, it causes a lot of conflicts and problems in a person's life.

ALWAY watch your mouth. Some of the things which shoot out from it unconsciously may be hurtful to a lot of people, causing resentment and the lost of respect. I learnt that the hard way. Be aware of what you are saying and the possible implications of what you say. Hold your tongue if necessary, even if you really feel you want to burst out. If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything. I'm not advocating that you just be a docile, quiet, spineless person, but if you speak in a manner or with words that infuriate and irritate people, how do you expect them to get your point or see things from your perspective? They'd be too blinded by their unhappiness with your words that whatever you say, even if it is valid, won't ever get to them.

I am no expert in communication or human relations. God knows I fail miserably many times. I speak when I shouldn't and I don't speak when I ought to. Noone's perfect, and I can only pray that I grow in this area too. I want to speak only that which is edifying. Not bootlicking in that I say things that aren't true, but boosting the confidence and giving people the courage to press on no matter the circumstances. I can be very critical at times, and I believe it's best to face a problem not run away from it, but I try my utmost best to correct it in the humblest (even if it's direct) manner... at least that's what I hope I can do.

And then there's God. I sometimes wonder why He's so cryptic, why He can't just come right out and say the things He wants me to do, the direction He wants me to head, what to do in order to solve my problems. I wished I knew specifically what He wants for me. At least then I can confess exactly what He wants and promises me everyday! I remember also what Ps Kong said about revelation. The pastor in his story heard from God, and prayed about it and felt peace in his heart. He went ahead with the mega project, but it flopped and he lost everything. When he went back to God and asked why, God said He told him what to do, just not when to do it. That was an eye opener for me. I can really identify with that. The question I have left is, what happened next? Did God bail him out and restore the same vision that He gave to the pastor, or did the pastor have to abandon that vision because He acted too soon? I don't know... I guess I never will... I can only pray and hope...

Have you ever had anyone come up to you and tell you to "shut up 'cos you don't know anything?" I was a little shocked really... I was also quite pissed, but I kept it under wraps (quite an achievement for me) and now I'm ok. Still, it did get me to start thinking about handling situations like this.

To be truthful, I don't subscribe to that kind of mentality. Just because someone deems you 'inadequate' doesn't mean that person has the right to tell you to shut up. Everyone has their own niche, so what if I'm not a sportsperson who plays every single sport there is? So what if sports don't seem to be my first choice to fill my time? Does that make me a total idiot when it comes to sportsmanship? I guess to some people it does. I guess it doesn't matter to some people that even though you're not involved in it directly, you may have a valid point. I also guess that if and only if you are an 'expert' can you ever have a say in any matter.

I find it rude and uncouth. If I deemed everyone who doesn't make it into a university incapable of intellectual reasoning and thus tell them to one to shut up when it comes to an intellectual discussion, that would be totally unreasonable. True, I probably can claim I have a 'higher education', but that does not mean that any points that those people may raise are irrelevent. Let's draw a parallel since I'm probably more 'cultural' than sporty. If someone who has minimal musical 'knowledge' can I then tell that person to shut up when there's a discussion on the quality of a particular play or music piece because I'm "a better judge of music than you and therefore your views are all wrong because you know sh*t!" That is illogical, nonsensical and childish. I won't even bother to explain why.

I think there should be a lot of tact in dealing with these situations. I'm not exempting myself from this because I probably have that failing too (or a somewhat similar one), but if you really find that someone is uttering nonsense, then at least use your EXPERIENCE to reason with that person, not tell the person to just 'shut up'. Don't fall back on 'Holier than thou' statements to validate your point. It only marks you out as a childish person. If you truly have a greater knowledge in the area, prove it by reasoning, not by bringing the other person down.

On another totally unrelated note, I was also asked recently if a guy and a girl can be close but 'just friends'. In my opinion, it can happen, but under very specific circumstances. Usually, if they're friends and nothing happens but they get closer, I can almost guarantee that either party or both at one point or another had more than friendship in mind. It is if and ONLY if, the feelings were one sided and it led to a confrontation which was handled well by both parties that this special situation of a guy and girl just being close friends might possibly occur. Even then, it is probably only safe to assume that it will stay that way IF one of the two or BOTH get attached to different people.

I think it's good that people draw lines, but I also feel that instead of avoiding the person after a confrontation, both parties should talk it out so that both are clear about what the other party is looking for, and they ought to respect that. By avoiding the rejected party (in this case I'd reckon it's the guy, so this is for the girls), you DO paint a very clear picture that it's a NO with a capital 'N' and a capital 'O', but you also risk losing that friend. I don't think all guys are braindead and have absolutely no respect for what the girl wants, and it's not like they're unreasonable (although some probably are...). Talk to him and make it clear what you want, how it stands, what you'd like him to do (or more importantly, what NOT to do). If he likes you enough he will respect that... but if he doesn't he probably didn't like you all that much to begin with... or was liking you for the wrong reasons.

I don't claim to have the 'textbook answer'. It is your prerogative how you handle the situation (or for the one rejected, how you react to the situation). For me, I'd like it to happen this way, but I guess I can't always have my way... that's life! Tough huh?

No political postings from me today. I've read many recently and I'm saddened... it doesn't help that I literally can't do anything about it... or even if there was, I wouldn't know where to start. School starts in full swing soon, so I might not bother to look any further into it... or maybe I will...

I just read a post which got me thinking... (read it here) I don't recall ever having being very interested in politics, but it really gets me to question what our leaders are doing. I also finally understand why my father spends hours and hours reading alternative news sources (like Malaysiakini). It also causes me to ask myself, what does it mean to be Malaysian? I suppose I will embark on yet another (possibly) controversial post, so please try to be a little open minded.

I grew up in Malaysia, and attended a national school from primary 1 all the way to form 5 (Upper secondary) after which I got a scholarship to study in Singapore. Even though I am Chinese, I am more proficient in English and Malay than my own mother tongue (Which many find appalling). I mixed with Malay, Chinese and Indian students in school, and we didn't have a race problem. I came from a pretty problematic school, with constant fights between rival gangs, each consisting largely of one particular race. However this did not affect the way I treated others of a different race. When I was young, I mixed around with everyone, but we were young and ignorant of racial differences. Everyday, I'd go out in the evening to play at the playground (or when we didn't have one nearby, on the road in front of my house) and I mixed with Malay and Indian kids too. We played Galah Panjang, football, rounders and even Kabadi together. I like Malay food, Indian food and Chinese food. Whenever people ask me where I'm from, and I tell them I'm from Malaysia, not Singapore, not China. I'm proud to call myself a Malaysian, but it's really sad when I read about things like this.

It amazes me how some people can be so blinded by personal pride that they can't bother to consider that perhaps what another person says might have *some* merit. I visited the article posted from Wikipedia (read it here) which happened to be the featured article today. I'm not about to blame our founding fathers of anything, because I understand why they made those decisions back then. However, there might just be a hint of truth to what Lee Kuan Yew was so concerned about back then. We can't change the past, but what we can do is to perhaps address the problems which plague the nation now. What I'm getting at is that even our founding fathers agreed that Article 153 of the Constitution of Malaysia should be reviewed some years later, but it hasn't been... and more than 40 years after independence there isn't even a consideration to 'perhaps' consider that this might be the best course of action.

Now before anyone starts hurling abuse and shouts of racism I would just like to point out one thing. If what the government has been doing for the past 40 years have failed to produce the results that they ought to (namely the NEP), isn't it only right that we might want to rethink the policies that are already in place now? I'm not advocating the removal of the special rights that the Bumiputeras have, but undoubtedly the way it is implemented is detrimental not only to the Bumiputeras but also the non-Bumiputeras. Even former PM Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad asked that the Bumiputeras stopped relying on the system to help them through. It is obvious that he too sees that many of the Bumiputeras are abusing the system, resulting in a lackadaisal generation which lacks the spirit of excellence. If this can be overcome, then there is no problem really, because the system would be functioning as it ought to. This is unfortunately not quite the case. I say this only for the benefit of the Bumiputeras, because from my point of view, it is they who have the most to lose. By creating an environment where they are so taken care of, they don't see the need to go beyond the bare minimal. For the non-Bumiputeras, all the odds are stacked against them, and that is a very competitive environment which breeds excellence. Of course, the thing that matters most is the way each individual sees the situation. The question I pose then, is that in general (since government policies should reflect the good of the majority), do these individuals see it in the way I described? When the system fails to meet the target set (in this case for the Malays have a 30% equity share of the economy), is it the right thing to impose even more 'rights' so that they become even more laid back? I really feel the crux of the matter is summed up here.

Meanwhile, whenever there is a failure of economic, social and educational policies, you come back and say, oh, these wicked Chinese, Indian and others opposing Malay rights. They don't oppose Malay rights. They, the Malay, have the right as Malaysian citizens to go up to the level of training and education that the more competitive societies, the non-Malay society, has produced. That is what must be done, isn't it? Not to feed them with this obscurantist doctrine that all they have got to do is to get Malay rights for the few special Malays and their problem has been resolved.

I'm not going to say that Malaysia sux. I still love my country, and I want the best for it. If only more people start seeing the bigger picture which will benefit everyone, then perhaps there will be a lot more hope for Malaysia.

Edit: A little something I stumbled across... evidently this affected other Malaysians too... Here's the link: Clickey

(Note: This article is a personal opinion which reflects my feelings on the matter. It is in no way a means of which to spread discord or incite racial or political hatred.)

So I went through the first webcast lecture of my semester, and lo and behold, the first assignment given to us, was to write what we thought about blogs. Ironic because lately the Asian blogosphere is seriously interesting... or to quote from the New Straits Times™, "Even more dramatic than drama serials." I remember blogging about what I thought when it comes to blogs before. Read it here. Still, it's not a bad idea to revisit these issues especially since they came to light (again) recently. So what does this whole thing have to do with me? Nothing at the personal level, but the issues which arise from the situation are issues that are important for me as a blogger. Plus, I can think of it as research for that module I'm taking.

I first heard about this blogger some time back, can't remember when exactly. It piqued my interest in the sense I never thought of blogging at such a large scale. That was just her though, not me, so I largely ignored it. Then my friend introduced me to a few Malaysian blogs which were interesting reads, sort of like LimKitSiang's blog. (Also, I had the periodic links from our hall forum which tell of the current happenings back home) In the process of reading those blogs, I came across one which I felt drawn to somehow. This blog is pretty cool. It wasn't the layout (No offence but I think it's a bit messy, but that's his choice) or the name (although it IS interesting to note because he's not even Asian). I guess it was because he had a lot of similar interests (such as DotA, technical news and politics) and I liked his writing style. Checking through his posts, I found that he and the blogger mentioned above had some differences to settle. Reading further, I also found a lot of politics going on... all involving prominent bloggers in the region.

To summarise the situation, we have on one side, her and her loyal fans (largely Singaporean) and on the other we have her, him, her and all the other anti-XX people (check the links and backtrack a few posts to read about their views). To XX and her fans, the rest are just jealous of her 'fame', and to the anti-XX coalition, she's a childish, immature, insensitive, stuck-up online 'celebrity' that needs to be taught that the world revolves around more than just her. You can read up on the details yourselves.

The discussion forum for my module also brought this issue up... the title of which read "Blogs in Singapore are still immature." Note that being in NUS, it's a discussion involving educated people who will (hopefully) become the elite working class. I don't quite agree because I'm pretty sure there are plenty of blogs out there by Singaporeans which have a lot of mature insights... and it's not to say that XX doesn't occasionally point out some of them herself. What I do concur with is that online journalism (blogging basically) does not bring about severe repercussions like normal journalism... at most you get hate mail... or at least that's what more bloggers think. So they write what they want, pointing out what they feel without really caring if it's politically correct. Two differing point of views on this matter arises, one stating that "It's my blog, my private space, my diary and I can write what I want, when I want, how I want and if you don't like it get lost and don't read" whereas the other is that "It's defamation and insensitive and you should be sued etc." Which is the 'right' one? I'd go for neither, or rather right down the middle. I'd like to think of blogs as personal space to write about whatever one wants, about any issue, but taking into consideration that being public, they should be prepared for retaliation. A mature blogger (just like any mature journalist) would be a lot less emotional when writing about issues, especially sensitive ones like race or religion. IF a person wishes to write something derogatory about another person or persons, then they should be prepared for the consequences. If you can't handle the heat, then don't.

Fact: EVERYONE can access your blog unless you make it private, and private blogs are not the issue here, public ones are. Fact: What you write on your blog is perceived to be a reflection of who YOU are. Fact: Not everything you write is agreeable by everyone, especially if you're taking a non-conventional stand. Fact: Noone has a right to tell you what you can or cannot do, but then you don't have a right to tell others what they can or cannot do either. Fact: You can't convince everybody to see things the same way you do. Fact: People are easily swayed by opinions that seem right (Think Adolf Hitler and his charisma).

The bottomline: Be responsible over what you post. Sure, you can speak out against things which you feel strongly about, but it wouldn't hurt to be less emotional about it and see things from an objective point of view. It'll save you a lot of difficulties in long run. Does that mean you can't post your mind? Of course not. Just think about this; how would people perceive you as a blogger if your post was childish and emotional when it ought not to be? Want to keep posting that way? That's your prerogative... but don't complain if people start criticising you. If you're a big person, learn from those mistakes and move on. Similarly, to those who are on the prowl to take down other people because of their postings, cut them some slack. Occasional posts which may seem insensitive may actually just be a one off thing, not necessarily indicative of who the blogger actually is. Be more forgiving or simply ignore the ignorance of the young learning author.

I want to get one thing straight. I myself am an emotional person... I admit it. Some of my posts can be emotional or maybe even politically incorrect. I don't claim to be perfect... I'm still learning. I just hope that everyone in the Asian blogosphere does too...

Well... it's finally at it's closure... the REAL closure...

I know I haven't been the best of company lately, so I apologise to those who had to put up with my not so cheery mood lately. I finally had the chance to tie up the loose ends... at least most of them...

I really do understand... and I'm glad you explained it to me... I was really feeling lost because I didn't fully get what happened... but now I do... At least to the extent that you've explained to me...

This may seem like a reiteration, but there's a need to say it I think: I really thank God for seeing me through, for sustaining me through this period. I thank you for being in my life... even though it was brief. I respect what you want, and I won't persist in pursuing this course. I know you might want to avoid me, but I assure you, there really is no need, for I understand now and will respect what you want... Although if you insist there really isn't much I can do. I really do hope that if nothing else, we can still be friends... and not just friends as in acquaintances, but true friends who can still share the joys and troubles of life; friends that can rely on each other in times of need. I'm truly glad that I met you. The time I spent with you has been some of the happiest, if not the happiest, time of my life... I really apologise for anything that I've ever done to hurt or make things difficult for you. I sincerely pray and wish for you to walk in joy and success in life regardless of what the circumstances, and I want you to know that I am still here as your friend if you ever need anything...

So I commit her again into Your hands, O Lord, and pray that You protect her and bless her every day of her life. Thank you, Lord.

To those still worried about me, don't. I'm fine, really! I'm sorry I worried you... but I think I've picked myself up. Thank God for His mercies!

So, what's all this about manga and anime? What the heck is manga and anime in the first place? To the uninformed, manga/anime is the most prevalent cultural export that comes from Japan. It's basically cartoons (manga being the printed comic version and anime being the animated version) that are typically characterised by huge eyes, cute faces and extremely inhuman proportions. But don't be fooled! While they may be cartoons, they aren't necessarily for kids, with some genres targetting mature audiences. The complexity and depth of some of these cartoons can be so great that it takes a lot of thinking to comprehend, something even 15 year olds may not be able to grasp. Produced in Japan, almost all manga and anime are in Japanese, licensed locally and largely enjoyed only by locals. However, places like Hong Kong, Taiwan and Singapore have been importing and translating these products into Chinese. Largely unexposed, most of the western world had limited contact with such material until the internet came into the picture. (To find out more try Wiki Manga and Wiki Anime)

This is where scanlations and fansubs come in. Since most of the material is released in Japan and takes forever to reach western shores, a whole new community has spawned on the internet, dedicated solely to bringing a translated version to be enjoyed by those who do not understand Japanese. When this was initially done, the legal repercussions were less poignant. According to the Berne Convention (Read about it here and here) and international copyright laws, it was deemed 'legal' to translate works from a copyrighted source if it was unavailable in the distribution country under certain rules. (Although it's not blatantly stated. Read about it here) I'm not a law student, so I can't say that I understand fully the treaty and all the conditions it has to meet for such an act to be 'legal' (Hence the quotes), but the point is that as the internet became more and more saturated with such material, copyright issues creeped in. When only a few were doing it, the 'loss' wasn't so great and hence it wasn't really worth looking into. Now that the western world has been fully exposed, it seems that some people want to milk this cash cow for all it's worth. This results in companies such as Tokyopop, Viz, Funimation, Fox and even Cartoon Network buying up licenses to release both anime and manga in English resulting in scanlators and fansubbers dropping the work because of legal issues.

The problem however lies in the fact that when these companies buy the license for the manga/anime, they have one thing in mind, profit! For starters, many would agree that a series (both manga and anime) becomes popular BECAUSE there is a huge fanbase on the internet, brought about by the works of scanlators and fansubbers. Not that that's an excuse, but to the millions of fans of a particular series, it becomes a problem when companies take over and force the scanlation/fansubbing group to shut down but produce mediocre results for the consumer. To the fans, it's not that they don't want to pay for the material, it's just that it was free and the quality was good, but now it stinks and you have to fork out money for it, where's the logic in that? It's like going for a beta test of an MMORPG which is free but of great quality, but suddenly becomes trash when it turns P2P. It does not justify the quality of work that the author (mangaka) put in. Furthermore, manga and anime are released about once every week in Japan. Usually, with a scanlation / fansub group, it takes less than a week for the latest episode to be available, making it just about on par with the Japanese release. When it get's licensed right about half way through the series, fans are subjected to a rerun, with absolutely no way of avoiding the fact that they have to wait for the company to catch up. That could take up to years. (Think Dragonball). Even worse, these companies charge insane prices for their products. For example, I remember seeing a full volume manga by Tokyopop in Singapore going for about S$7, whereas the local Chinese translation was only going for about half the price (or maybe just a little more). Now I know that they may be imports, but why do I have to pay two different prices for the same material but in different languages?

No, I don't think it is wrong for these companies to buy the license for the manga or anime. It is good to want to bring it over to the English speaking world. But please, do quality translations so that fans no longer need to gripe (If you ever surf the internet and monitor scanlation/fansubbing groups you should get a glimpse of quality releases just by taking a peek) about such things. I also understand that as a company, there are bills to pay, and profit IS the main concern. Still, how can you expect people to not complain if there isn't a substantial reason WHY people should pay you so much? I appreciate the fact that unlike the music industry, these companies aren't as bloodthirsty in shutting down scanlation / fansubbing groups. I think they at least realise that these groups are the ones generating the huge fanbase which they reap the profits from. Also, most groups actually acquiese to licensing rights, halting production when it occurs and moving on to other projects. I'd say that I take my hats off to members of this community (Not you leechers ^_^). My short foray into the scanlating world was fun, and I realised that as a fan, I really wanted to share the joy of manga and anime with as many people as I could, and given the time, I'd like to make my comeback (provided I'm also doing a project I am interested in). Still, there's so many more facets to this community that one post is not enough. Perhaps another time...

On Saturday night I wasn't feeling too well. Vomitted and had diarrhoea... Great way to start the week. Luckily I have no classes on Monday, and Tuesday's a public holiday, which gives me time to recover. I had to skip Sunday service and Builder's Paradise. Weather these few days have been dreary, doesn't help liven up the mood. Still, I thank God for my friends who looked after me throughout yesterday... They got me food and medication. Thanks Zhu Yan, Bao Lei and Ee Ling. Don't know what would've happened if they weren't around.

I don't really have much to write now... so I guess I'll save it for another time. Nothing much worth writing about just now, so I think I'll leave it at that. My next post could have something to do with the scanlation / fansubbing world, so stay tuned.

Not that it really matters, but for the fun of it...

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't. Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time. Your flirting style: Coy Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant What you bring to relationships: Romance

So the holidays are almost over, life will go back to studying and I'll be taking basic Chinese this semester. Considering I had absolutely no formal education in the language (or at least none that was tested) I think it can be pretty challenging. Good thing I have a lot of people to help teach me if I don't know a thing or two. I'm actually more interested in taking Japanese, but what kind of a Chinese would I be if I wasn't fluent at least conversationally, in Mandarin? Not that I absolutely HAVE to, but given a choice, I guess I've chosen to play catch up with just about everyone else and not be a 'banana'... Although I must admit that one semester of study may not improve my conversational skills all that much... prime example would be Ian. Not that his Chinese is bad, but well... it makes a difference when you speak it at home since you were young.

The past few days have been really cold. Rain isn't all that bad except when you go and watch your friends try to kick a ball all over a drenched field. Still, I guess a slight drizzle isn't all that bad if I have shoes and it's not muddy. It's quite cool and beats having the sun beating down on you... although that's definitely better than getting drenched from head to toe. Anyway, today was IHG soccer finals and we went down to go support our team. It was a pretty tense match, and I must admit that TH deserved to win; they were the better team. Still, we held out till extra time before conceding a goal. I think our guys did a terrific job and I have absolutely no complains. They did their best... that's what counts.

Poor Wen Jing had a pretty bad day I think. He successfully executed a sliding tackle only to have the attacker knee him in the face. He was rushed to the hospital and last I heard, he had stitches and was waiting for an MRI scan in the trauma ward at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. I wished the team could've given him the good news that they won it for him so that at least it wouldn't be all that bad... but I guess things usually don't go the way you want them to. Usually when it rains, it pours! I think we should find a time to go visit him.

However, as I've learned today (or had it reinforced), life CONSISTS of testings. Which literally means that to LIVE, you have to go through trials. I know I'm not exactly one who can hold my head up no matter what... in fact I probably seem down most of the time, but I do know that I get over things pretty quick as compared to others. It's hard for me to hold on to things that are bad, I usually forget them after a while. The most important thing to me is that no matter what the experience, if nothing else, at least I hope I learn from it. I want to be stronger in many areas... in faith, discipline and most of all character, and I really pray that God helps me through as I walk with Him. I really cannot imagine life without Him, I wouldn't be ME if He wasn't in the picture, and for that I'm really grateful. Naked I came, naked I will go. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, but I will bless the name of the Lord at all times!

So, as the holidays draw to a close, what do I have to look forward to? Nothing much maybe, at least not as much as I'd have liked. Still, I trust God will see me through, for His ways are higher than mine, His thoughts higher than mine. I will trust in Him always.

Previous posts have been depressing... and quite a huge number of people actually expressed concern (most of which I didn't even know read my blog), so to put your worries to rest... I'm perfectly fine! I can't say it doesn't affect me because it does, but I guess I learn how to really just give it to God.

I really thank God for seeing me through. Sure the year ended not as well as I wanted it to, sure it's been difficult, and yes, it still hurts... but as I commit everything to Him and leave it to Him I know He will settle them for me... I guess to me it's just a 'could have been'... so I release it totally to Him. Who knows? Maybe He has someone else for me, or maybe He doesn't... God works in mysterious ways... but I'm not keeping any hopes... I will just trust in His plan for me... no matter what it is.

It wasn't a thoroughly enjoyable experience, but I'm grateful to have gone through it... Grateful because I learned some things about myself, and about life. Grateful to have met her because she's still a great friend. Grateful that she's doing fine, and grateful that in the end, we both came out OK.

This new year, if nothing else, I want to be thankful for all the things that I have been blessed with. I lay aside what is behind and I press on toward the upward call of God, so don't worry. The good thing about having a down year end, is that the only way to go for the next year is UP!

I had a great time with my council friends, and I'm really outdated about the happenings... but it was great to see everyone again, to really just hang out and chill and talk about anything and everything, to see how everyone has matured, to see all the challenges and success in thei lives, to remember the funny things we did together, to play silly games together... and although I'm not as close to them as people in hall, I'm still very grateful to have them as friends! I know I don't exactly have very good relationships with any of them (friend-wise), but they still open up to me and are really kind and sweet. So I'm awfully thankful to have such a great bunch of friends around... We should try to meet up more than just on big occasions.

Ever trouped about 40+ people to Suntec and tried to have lunch on a Sunday? It was difficult enough deciding on a place to eat, let alone finding a place which had that many vacancies... Ended up Pizza Hutting... right across Carl's Junior... which I still have yet to try... but I guess there's no rush... It'll always be there... I hope... >.<

Here's to a great 2006! May it be a blessed year for everyone!

I yield... Sorry for being a burden... I concede... I respect your decision...

In my current situation, I can only describe it as such. I don't know what I'm doing... what I'm thinking... but if there's anything that came out of the past few days of brooding/ pondering/ deliberations/ whatever, it's this; I know things aren't the way we'd like it to be, and that you think it might be best to just drop it, and that you just don't want to be burdened by this. I don't even know if you still feel the same way... but I still do. I don't know where things went wrong... but I really wished they can be made right. I have not... cannot give up just like that! Still... if you were to truly be happier, to truly be much better off if I did, then out of my love for you, I will do it, although it causes me much pain. Corny? Maybe... but it is the truth about how I feel... about what's been going on through my mind...

I look to God, for even in the deepest, darkest period in my life, He is there with me. Sometimes I marvel at how other people survive when they don't have Him. I know I wouldn't be able to... I place my trust in You, O Lord, that whatever it is You have in store for me, whatever it is You have planned, that it will come to pass, for I pray, God, let Your Will, not mine be done...

I pray now that you cover her with the blood of Jesus, that she might be under your protection everyday of her life. I pray also that You annoint the works of her hands, that they may prosper be it her studies, her ministry or her interests. I ask further, O Lord, that You bless the relationships that she has with her friends and her family members. Lastly I pray that she continue to grow in You, that You will reveal Yourself to her more and more each day, so that she can be more and more Christlike. I commit her into Your hands, for that is all that I can do... Amen

My christmas was supposed to be exciting... Carnival at church, services, Cell Group party, celebrating with friends... I was looking forward to a great year end... but just at the last two weeks, God chooses to drop a few bombshells on me... and they're not small mini bombshells...

I despise myself... I despise myself for not being able to hold my head up high and ignore the problems around me... to smile and enjoy the christmas season... I tried... I really did... I despise myself for not making the right decision earlier... for putting myself in this situation... for making things difficult not just for myself, but for the people around me... I'm sorry... I hope that I can have a chance to rectify things, to try again... to do what I was afraid to do earlier... do I still have that chance? I hope against hope...

There are some issues in life which really get you thinking... What's the 'right' decision? What's the 'right' course of action? What's the 'right' thing to do? It's hard to answer all these questions, especially when it concerns issues that aren't explicitly stated in the bible. (Referenced because it's the basis for which I base my life principles) And then there are times you wonder if those answers are actually the important ones... maybe the questions should be "IS there a right decision?" "Should I do this or that? OR maybe doing NOTHING is the 'right' thing to do?" True, it depends on the situation, but these questions always plague us when we're faced with a situation with so many variables.

Am I doing the right thing? Maybe I should be more selfish... but I rather be self sacrificial than to be selfish... especially if it concerns people I really care for. I can't control the circumstances, just my reaction to them. I rather be the one that gives in to people instead of the person forcing everyone to do MY things MY way. Of course I stand up for the things I truly feel should be stood up against. Of course I draw the line when it comes to things which are clear. I also stand my ground if I think it's way over the line... but it's just that my line isn't quite as rigid as most people's... and it makes me seem very 'bochap', 'chinchai', 'tidak apa'... Well, I think I am, because if it makes you happy, then go ahead and use whichever method you think works best, doing whatever you think is best for you. I have my own dreams, aspirations, desires, but they're simple, uncomplicated ones, and as long as they're not directly opposing yours, I don't see a reason NOT to give in... That's assuming of course, that I have any say in the situation in the first place...

In everything I do, I always try to commit it to God... And I do so again in this case. I have faith in God, that although I really don't want to, although I don't feel like doing it, although it's really difficult for me to do it, I will still place it in His hands, wait for His will, and pray that in the end, my faithfulness will be rewarded. I believe that two nights ago, I was given the nudge to go for it. I hold on to it, just as I've held on to everything else that God spoke to me about this matter since the beginning... and pray for the best... Lord help me!

I think I'm a very simple guy. It doesn't take much to make me happy. My mum used to tell me about how she'd get a single cone of ice cream and break off a teeny bit from the bottom of the cone, take a teeny bit of ice cream and give my my own mini cone ice cream. My sis would get the rest though, and I never complained. In fact, I was very happy with that little cone. I think I haven't changed much since then... You made my day just be coming over. ^_^

Boredom... The worse thing that can happen to any youth. We constantly strive to keep ourselves occupied with interesting activities, but when they fail to appeal to our interest anymore... it's hard not to be bored. Still, having nothing to do is better than having too many things to do and no time to do them. :)

Today, was a spectacular day for my family. I remember sharing that although me, my mother and my sister have been praying for my father for the past decade or so, he seemed pretty hardened on not accepting Christ. However, I truly felt that God can work miracles, and you never know, it might just be this period. Truly God is faithful. Somehow, when I said it, I took it by faith, and even though there was a nagging thought that maybe it may not be, I believed that now was as good a time as ever, and it certainly was. My dad came to Christ today... And I really almost couldn't believe it! In fact, when I told my sister, she called back telling me not to play practical jokes like that. My mother cried when he said the sinners prayer, and I am truly happy. This year will truly end greater than the way it started!

With this in mind, I also believe that one other area in my life will be better than the way it started this year. Perhaps now isn't the time to go into details just yet, but placing my trust in God and with Him guiding my steps, I truly believe that God will not let me down. I've been praying over this everyday for the past couple of months, and I believe that the time for decision is coming soon... and I want more than anything to make that decision according to God's will! I will say that many people have been speaking into my life through this period, and I do not believe they are merely coincidental... So in You, O God, I place my trust!

I'm having mixed feelings these days... It's been a pretty eventful week. I'm back home in KL! Met up with my uncle, cousin, grandaunties and friends, went for crab at PJ Seafood near Tropicana, 'shopping' at One-U, KLCC and Petaling Street, went down to Subang for mamak food with the usual people, visited DUMC over the weekend... All that in just 5 days! Not to mention making quite a number of wrong turns in KL while driving... but at least I learned quite a few new roads...

Anyway, something that's close to my heart right about now... I'll just quote it. (Modified a little to suit the context).

I thank my God. Life has been made so much the fuller for His giving me you. I was recounting today how rich, how full (I can't find a better word!) He has made life for me. Sealike, but having no ebb, no not at my fingertips! Nature, Body, Soul, Friendship, Family - all full for me, and then what many have not, the capacity to enjoy. "And He said, 'Lacked ye anything?' They said, 'Nothing.'" Part of me was lacking until this now - oh, I needed you, neither of us knew how sorely! And even now, though I don't have you in the fullest sense, still I do, in a sense I will not when we have known each other.

I'm sorry to have to make you wait, but I cannot use only my heart, for thus have many erred and rushed headlong, waiting not for Him. If I were to go ahead, HE must be in the center, for only then can we truly stand in times of testing and in times of blessing, for whatever He has brought together He will prosper. Forgive me... for I sincerely do not want to disappoint, in that I compromise my principles and faith in Him. If I did, what character would I then have? None that would make me the ideal man for you...

God is good. Freely I receive, freely I give. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh. I strive only to be like Abraham, to offer even that which is most important to me, by faith, that He will return it to me, for God is a good God. Amen.

Yes... I finally bid adieu to my exams. Had my last paper and it wasn't too bad. My papers this semester were pretty ok I should think... I don't know how well I do, but I believe that God will pull through for me. My confidence is in Him! I guess I really did study and do my part this time around. Hardly slacked aroud... well... I did, but it was more like breaks between studying...

As a reward, I'm going out today... Finally heading to town instead of being cooped up in NUS/Clementi area is pretty exciting, or as some put it, finally getting a life. Lunch will be a lot better than 'economic rice'... Won't have much time before I'll be going back to KL though.

To those who haven't finished their exams, all the best. I'll try not to distract you. To those who finished, don't waste the holidays.

Don't really have much left to say except, well, maybe when I come back later... ^_^

It's midway through my exams and there are 'some' people who have already finished. Yes, I know you're celebrating your liberation, but do spare us poor souls since we still have to face more papers this coming week. Add the fact that I have not one but TWO papers coming and you can see that this isn't exactly the best time for temptations.

*begin rant*

I did quite a few past year papers these few days, but I still feel the inadequacy, which I'm compensating for by reading up those parts which I am unsure of. Only problem is, I don't know if it's sufficient. There may be some topics which I may have to memorise totally in order to answer those questions. Curses, it's a freaking closed book examination. There can't possibly be anything worse than knowing that you can do this topic and that it's pure memory work required to answer the question, even when you got your concepts right. PLUS, there's a whole new programming language which requires me to memorise the syntax to reproduce the coding, but we know that if we actually use a program to generate it, it will automatically generate certain pieces of the code via a template. Who'd bother memorising which library is used when?

Maybe I'm just complaining because I don't memorise them myself, meaning I didn't study enough... but I don't believe studying and 'understanding' should be tested based simply on memory work. How much of what we actually study will be applicable to us when we go out to work in the future anyway? And EVEN if it was, we probably still have to go out and memorise it AGAIN in the future no?

*end rant*

Ignore what's written above... It's just me being whiney and wanting to put the blame on the system. It's my fault if I don't memorise it I guess... So that's what I'm trying to do now... Although I feel that I'm unsure of WHAT to memorise and what NOT to... God help me! There's 2 more papers, the one on Monday doesn't seem TOO difficult... although I hope they don't suddenly pull stunts this year. The past 2 semesters' papers were pretty doable... but I still need to work more on them I guess.

To all those who finished, congratulations! Now stop tempting us who haven't into playing... Thank goodness there are people who help me stand up against temptation. I'm really looking forward to the end of exams... There's a lot to look forward to really... These few days have been really great although there's exams and all... In the midst of it, God really brought a lot of joy into my life... and I'm really grateful for it. Thank you SO MUCH, God for blessing me so much... I don't know what else to say except... thank you!

Plans? Catch Harry Potter, go back to KL and see my family, spend time with KL peeps, church, Christmas, Hall... and much more! Semester and year coming to a close... I claim from God that it will definitely end better than when it started!

Edit: Did what I should've done from the start... No point asking me to play anymore... or to use my comp... it's just not there anymore... I'm sure you guys will have a ball... *rollseyes*

I have never felt more sorry and guiltyfor being careless than today. Spilling iced milo on someone isn't something to be proud of... I wished I could just turn back time and stay far far away from even getting close to making a mistake like that, but wishful thinking. I'm so very very sorry Elaine... >.<

Schedule is still study, study and study more... I'm probably not the most hardworking person around, but I try my best. I DO hope that I can do well to glorify Him.

Today, someone had a breakdown because of exams. I guess there's a lot of pressure to perform, but I really believe that God will always help us as His children to pull through. I prayed for her and shared a few words with her... I hope I managed to encourage her and help her to continue to trust in God. I really believe that even if it's difficult, no matter what situation you're in, no matter how bad the circumstances, no matter how terrible you think you are, God can ALWAYS redeem you and bring you back to the right track. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will bless you and as long as you cling on to Him, you will be able to see miracles in your life. God is always there, but you must persevere in seeking Him, otherwise you may not find Him. Everything about God works by faith, and if you don't mix your faith with works, God will not reveal Himself to you. The word I believe God had was Philip 3:12-14. No matter what happened in the past, whether the previous paper was good, or bad, we should put it behind us, and work towards the next one. God has called us to shine for Him, and as students, we are to do well. That is our calling, that is our purpose. So if we FOCUS on our purpose, we should put aside interim successes (the good papers we had) and the disappointments (the bad papers we had) and keep on keeping on to complete that which God has called us to do. I sincerely hope that this ministers even to me.

God is really good... He blesses us with everything we need to do what He wants us to do, so that He can bless us. I truly believe that in Christ, I can do it! He can do it for you too, just trust in Him!

I finally got to putting photos on my blog. Taking a break from studying (Yes, I really did study today... I didn't play) and decided to post this up.































This model in case you're wondering is from Gundam SeeD. It's called the Freedom. And is really cool. The model I have is an MG (Master Grade), and isn't exactly cheap. Thanks Alex for the present. It's really nice!

I'm trying out the photo feature of this w.bloggar thingy. At least it makes attaching photos easier, though now that I think about it, it doesn't really do much since I still have to upload the photos myself. ^_^ Oh, in case you're wondering, this picture is now my desktop background. It was drawn during my birthday celebration (Check previous posts). Cheeky friends...

Today's paper was quite alright... I hope tomorrow's will be as good. God, I did what I could, and everything else is up to You. I trust You, Lord!

It is time... I will have to face my first challenge, CS2102. This module on database has not been easy, but i've put in my best effort in studying. Lord help me! Timecheck: 2 hours till paper.

Tomorrow I will have Linear Algebra: MA1101R. Starts at 1 pm, so I should be able to get some rest. Again, been doing what I can already.

First time trying out this w.bloggar™ thingy. Seems pretty cool. I can even add pictures to it, so I'll see if I can put up something soon... Probably my beautiful model which I still have yet to take photos of. >.<

Ok, time to sign off... Lunch, then taking my paper. To everyone else having exams too, ALL THE BEST!

My daily regiment: Wake up, eat, study, eat, study, eat, study, eat, study sleep... Wonderful! God give me wisdom, understanding, strength and Your annointing to do more in less time. I don't believe I've ever studied so much before.

I don't know how much more of this I can take, but one thing I DO know, is that I will press it through, keep on keeping on, and focus on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. I will hold fast to His precepts, His principles, His word. Regardless of the circumstances, or the outcome, Lord teach me to trust in You, to continue to believe in Your word, and to look above and beyond myself in ALL that I do. It's not about me, it's never about me. I humble myself and submit everything of me to You, because it is only in YOU that I can find fulfilment.

For we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose, and I stand on this promise. Hoping that what I want, what I do, what I think is according to His will, not mine. Furthermore, help me to continue to be a blessing to those around regardless of how busy I am, and to remember that although MY goals are important, God's calling is equally important, if not more so.

Lord, give me the patience, willpower and strength to go through this period. Give me the faith to persevere and to push through without stumbling. Give me the grace to continue keeping on even if I DO stumble, for I am but a man. We know that everything is in Your hands, and Lord I pray that I can be someone with a character that You can be proud of. I believe in You, and everything I do, I do according to Your word, so HELP ME LORD! I need You!

Hectic period... had so many deadlines... Firstly, Mon I had a presentation, followed by an assesed lab which accounted for 15% of my grade. This was followed by Can You Make It?, a competition organised by final years for us to showcase your talents... I'm quite happy with the results... won third, so I was blessed with some cash... Although admittedly I think my partner, Alby deserved the money more since his singing was superb!

After the competition, it was mugging time, for yet another assessed lab today, as well as a test for my database course. The good news is, it's all over, and thank God I think it's quite alright.

The exam period is coming, so studies are a priority. There's bible study tonight though, churchwide, on the tabernacle. So I'll probably take a short break... of one day... to write my blog, destress, go for BS etc.

Yes, my birthday is over... but I still can't stop feeling truly blessed! Even amidst all the work, I can still find it in me to keep smiling. ^_^

Post exams aren't going to be much of a rest either... there are many things to do, like head home and fix up the computers in the comp suite, and move out my stuff (since hall might just be renovated), prepare for Christmas etc. So there are a lot of things happening and although I'm looking forward to them, there's still exams to go through.

To all of you who can find the time to read my blog, and keep me in your prayers, here's the timetable:

CS2102S DATABASE SYSTEMS
18 Nov 2005, PM (Afternoon)
MA1101R LINEAR ALGEBRA
19 Nov 2005, 1300hrs (Afternoon)
CS2103 SOFTWARE ENGINEERING
23 Nov 2005, 0900hrs (Morning)
EE2006 DIGITAL DESIGN
28 Nov 2005, AM (Morning)
CS2105 COMPUTER NETWORKS
30 Nov 2005, AM (Morning)

Yes, I have yet to confirm the time for those which aren't stated... just whether it's in the morning of afternoon... >.<

So please keep me in prayers. I appreciate it very much.

I might post something more eventful or interesting, but not now... Perhaps if I suddenly have something I feel strongly about then I will...

I'm truly blessed! I cannot remember the last time I was this happy.

So I was in my room at 11.50, guessing that something was going to come up since they have a tendency to do it around that time. I just didn't know what exactly to expect, half expecting a phone call or something to go to comm hall, maybe... but NOOOOO... they just HAD to troupe every single person to 3A-406.5. So there I was, on my bed, and then out pops one head, then two, then another and another and finally there were so many that it's a wonder noone fainted. Then they started singing as Elaine brought the cake in. Made my wish (secret lar) and blew out the 2.1 candles. Thus ended phase one.

I walked out and I was shocked! There were SO MANY people, not just the 3A people. The likes of Mei Kit, Yuan Mei and I-Mei (all the Mei's ^_^) were present. So were Fish and Yujun. Not forgetting the year 1s who looked a little lost and left out, but it's fine... You're welcome anytime! And I appreciate all of you for coming even though you feel a little 'alien'.

There were also call-ins... due to the fact that they couldn't make it... SMSes came in too, and my poor inbox needs to be cleaned (can't bring myself to delete those wishes). Thank you everyone!

Then the next 'event' took place, details of which I shall not mention. Suffice to say, the colour of my back could rival that of thoroughly boiled lobster. I ended up with cake in my hair too (thanks to a certain vengeful bird). So I went to clean up.

I think what I realised the most is that I am so truly blessed to have so many people around me. I appreciate the celebration and the thought of putting it together for me, and I thank you for it... but more than that, I realised that I have so many people around me that I can truly call friends! You all mean a lot to me. And yes, you've all made a very big difference in my life, even if you feel you haven't done all that much. Just by being there, I have all the reason in the world to feel truly and utterly blessed! I appreciate everything that you have done, and I guess I just want to say... THANK YOU!!! I really can't bear losing any of you. I feel so touched, so blessed, so loved!

Sometimes you wonder if whatever you're doing is what you SHOULD be doing... Or maybe you ponder about why life seems surreal at times, almost like a dream, yet you know you're not dreaming. Life constantly bombards you with situations which are usually bittersweet... You may be unhappy about diffcult circumstances, yet pleased that you can face it and overcome it. You can be happy that things are going well, but also worry that perhaps they are going TOO well... Or maybe the REAL answer is that some people just think too much when they shouldn't; People like me.

Logic is my main mode of operation. I usually reason everything out; every situation, every dilemma, every option, every path, every possible outcome... and I choose which is 'logically' the best. I say USUALLY because there are definitely times I do things which are irrational... but that's besides the point. Whenever I get into a rut, I like to analyse, think, reason out... Why am I down? Why am I in this situation? What's the problem? How do I solve the problem? Is it just me or is it because of external factors? And sometimes it gets really tiring, because I tend to spend quite a substantial amount of time thinking about things instead of doing anything. Of course, by thinking rationally and reasoning logically... I do it not based on my experience alone, but also from my understanding of God's word. Is it wrong? Isn't it appropriate to stop and think about what you're doing or are going to do? Where do you draw the line? You definitely can't spend years thinking over an issue, but you don't want to do something without thinking it through thoroughly either...

Thank goodness God is good and He gives His children wisdom which enables us to make decisions that are for our own good. Wisdom is something I pray for every day. Wisdom to study, to know what to say, when to say it, how to say it, wisdom in actions, wisdom in making decisions. And I really thank God for His many blessings in this area.

So, is there something bothering me? Yes and no. Yes, I think it's affecting me, but I'm going to constantly focus on the revelation I got... to continue to be a blessing, and as long as I keep that in front of me, I can smile no matter what happens.

Does anything mentioned above make sense? Probably not. Guess I'll just have to trust God and keep on keeping on...

Here's a short post...

Suppose it's quite valuable... ^_^

Your IQ Is 120

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

I feel dumb... >.<

Motivation, discipline, drive... these are the things currently a little lacking in me. Thank God I have great project group members who help me out... although I feel kind of bad because I don't seem to be doing all that much. I'd like to carry my share of the workload thank you... and sorry if it seems that I'm not doing anything...

Today is halloween celebration... not like we celebrate, but I have a performance and I hope it turns out ok. Doing all my tutorials for this week too... so I think I'm pretty preoccupied...

No time for long posts... Will work on my tutorials now...

Today, I thought through some things and I guess I've come to a very seemingly obvious conclusion... although it's quite a revelation to me.

What's the difference between serving and working? One very basic thing... serving is giving your all to further the cause of another without hope of reward, payment or acknowledgement... whereas working is doing it FOR THE SAKE of the reward. How does this affect me? Simply that if I were to do something for another person, I wouldn't be genuinely serving if I was expecting something in return... acknowledgement, or maybe recognition.

Something happened in concert this year... I wasn't in the Concert Central Committee, but I still put in a lot of effort (I think). I helped write the script (edit and whatnot), handle their web stuff, did some publicity stints and finally went to cast, helping the directing (minor role there) and dancing. I enjoyed every moment of it, but I think I felt a little left out because as a senior, you don't really get the same kind of recognition as a first year... neither do people acknowledge you as a CCC member. So in a sense, it was a bit weird. I didn't quite fit in either group...

I appreciate all the encouragement and thanks that everyone has given to me. Really... there's no need to go buy anything after you read this... I don't expect you to do that. In fact, after today, I have a whole different perspective on this area. I'd like to think of me as having done my part, serving a greater cause (Concert) and done it well, without doing it for the recognition, position or fame... And receiving any of the 'rewards' COULD undermine that. Not saying that you should all stop giving gifts, but I don't want to come to a point where I start doing a lot of things so that people will go shower me with thanks and praise.

I think what I really want to say is that I shouldn't expect anything when I'm serving... not thanks, not gifts, not acknowledgements, NOTHING. It'll be great if I got them, and I thank you for it, but I shouldn't go around feeling unappreciated and moody if I didn't... (At this point, all of you'll probably point your finger at me and say... oooh... you wanted it!) I admit, I did feel left out... but hey, I feel much much better now because I changed my mindset. I'm glad and I'm glad and I'm glad I had the opportunity to serve, and it turned out great! So that is reward enough for me... regardless of whether or not I received anything.

So the conclusion? Serving has taken on a new dimension for me, and that includes in church... or rather, I should say ESPECIALLY in church. I think I really understand what my CGL has been talking about... but God is good... for His joy fills our hearts even as we serve, and we are appreciated by Him. That is probably more fulfilling than any reward anyone can give!

Think I've said enough. Tiring day today, but I'm happy I can realise this myself. Part of the reason of posting is so that I can remind myself constantly that this is the mindset I should have... and I pray and I pray and I pray that God help me keep it!

Came back from Bible Study today wondering if there are any demons in my life... I certainly would want to deal with them if there are any... But I believe in due time God will help me deal with them...

Work progressing not as well as expected. I'm trying to catchup really, but it's hard when you have to spend more time understanding the topic... I feel like just dropping everything and going to sleep... for maybe a week...

It's funny how just when you think everything's going fine, something just pops up to remind you that it never is... I thought after concert I'd find the time to catchup on work, but then some other things come up and suddenly I'm swamped with so many other things... tutorials among them... Mood swings are not uncommon, but I still think it's always a choice to smile... God knows I should more...

I'm not gonna waste too much time posting... there are tutorials beckoning and I have to get back to them... may just take a long LONG break from posting...

Thus beginneth the slow process of getting back into the usual mode of life. Concert was great, but the initial parting leaves a certain void which temporarily leaves members in a daze... I thought that wouldn't happen this year... wishful thinking...

I started catching up on tutorials... There's quite a bit to be done, but I think I'll manage. This week is still going to be hectic, with so many events coming along. There's a computer games competition which I have to help out in, inventory checks, tutorials, assignments, labs etc. Priority should obviously be for studies, but those are a little more flexible in terms of time... so it should be ok with a bit of juggling...

My mind isn't at it's peak just now... there's just too many things that I have to think of and I don't think I have the ability to make the most coherent decisions just now... Probably not the most coherent posts either...

It's OVER! Concert is finally over and everyone can settle down. It was a great show really, I'm so proud of you! You guys really rose to the occassion, and I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad that I became a part of this concert!

Thank you sets, the bar was amazing! The lights were amazing! You guys did a tremendous job!

Thank you costumes! The Catwalk dresses were dazzling and so were all the rest.

Thank you tech for being super alert, reliable and on queue everytime! All those errors in earlier runs are worth it... Because you guys did a great job at the end!

Thank you SMs for also being alert and doing a great job in managing stage... It worked out really fine!

Thank you ticketing for selling so many tickets and making more and more people unable to come... It was great!

Thank you marketing for raising so much that we could do so many things (Like getting that afro) and working your butts of. My hats off to ya!

Thank you music for creating such wonderful masterpieces I can't seem to forget them. You guys did the hall proud!

Thank you publicity, for putting up with my absence and helping make wonderful material which I will cherish always...

And last but not least, thank you so much cast! To be honest, I was quite disappointed when I first came down and saw how you were progressing... I saw the daunting task of turning all of you to be stage-worthy. I really felt that you guys were at an all time low during Comm Hall week... But, we managed to pull through. You guys are amazing no matter what people say. Heck, even the Thursday full run was not up to scratch, but whithin just one day, you became performance worthy (You guys work great if there's a crowd). And Saturday was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! I know and I know and I know all you guys feel the magic of concert and I really hope that you keep it with you as something you will always remember and cherish!

But all good things come to an end... Do remember to catch up on studies guys... And make sure you guys get rest... and I mean it!

Today's run was absolutely GREAT. With the exception of a few errors, I think we managed to pull off a good show. There was an error on Catwalk, but thank goodness everyone pulled together and it didn't show that there was any... ^_^ I bet the audience didn't know there was a MAJOR error there... which is good...

Cast was astonishing today. You guys really proved that you can do it, and that our faith in you was well placed. I really think you guys (and gals) are super talented, and tomorrow will be the day you guys really put in your best. It's only one more day, and sadly, it will be the LAST CHANCE to experience this concert... make it a good one!

I'm on a high, but tomorrow will be even better... I believe we can do it perfectly, everyone of us! So put in your best and run for it!

Long day today. Tomorrow is THE day, and I'm a little nervous... not because I can't stand to be on stage, it's just that I'm a little worried that I didn't practice enough. Somehow, I seem to be unable to remember everything... Praying that I will...

Today's run wasn't the most encouraging to be truthful. Performance is TOMORROW (Today considering it's past 12), but we're still missing some blockings and people are still breaking out of character. I guess a lot of people are really enjoying the show, so much so that they break character easily... Guys, I know you like to enjoy concert, but please, don't laugh if you break character... don't laugh when something funny happens, unless you're supposed to laugh... It matters because if you break it won't become funny anymore... it'll just be another moment of poor acting... Stopping yourself from breaking character is all psychological... You need to discipline yourselves to do it. You got very nice directors who seldom scold, scream and shout at you, but don't step all over them... they need you to be disciplined on and off stage... like keeping quiet, like not breaking character, like being where you should be when you should be... it ALL counts!

Bad news, I LOST MY LEATHER SHOES!!! ARGH!!! I'm so disappointed in myself... Misplaced it somewhere during comm hall runs and now I can't find it... I'll need to find another for tomorrow... and a few other bits and pieces of costumes... like a huge wig... and I mean REALLY HUGE wig... Plus socks, and a black shirt...

Also, I realised something today... and please, I AM NOT GAY... ^_^ I think I look pretty good in pink. Or at least I think I do when I'm in my costume. Hope everything turns out great tomorrow...

It's been another hectic day... Unfortunately didn't get much blocking done. I don't really know if this is bad or how bad it is, but it's not exactly progressing very well... Hopefully things will shape up in time...

Took a break from cast for BS today. It was another lesson on healing. Brother Jimmy did a pretty good job on it... Shared a bit with Jamie too, I think it was pretty good that we managed to talk over some things. Guess we all mature in time, and thank God I believe the both of us have over the past year or so.

Concert will be over soon. I don't really want it to... but all good things must end, and i'll miss this one. These few days were nostalgic (Poppy anyone?) and I must say, I understand a lot more than when I was in concert last year. It's the last mile, so I hope everyone just enjoys it and come out feeling they've done a great job.

I've been up since about 4.50 am this morning. I couldn't sleep. I don't know why I have to contend with things like this... Life is tough enough as it is. What was I expecting? I don't know... Maybe I was hunting for something to look forward to too much...

Lord, I may not feel at my peak, but I will praise You even when I feel down, especially when I feel down, because it is the best time to praise. I don't know what else to do. I can't think straight...

I need to buck up though. Concert is coming... Deadlines are arriving, work is piling up... I need to forget everything and concentrate on getting through this period. By God's grace, I'll make it out in one piece.

Sermon on Sunday was awesome... it encouraged me to keep running and to focus on the more important things and leave the rest to God.

I don't know what else to post... maybe something more coherent when I'm thinking straight...

Concert is coming up very soon. Everyone's busy polishing last minute details. Comm hall runs started off on a down, but it picked up yesterday when everyone started working together cohesively. Energy was up and Li Ling gave us a very clear picture of what it means to have high energy. It was really important that everyone in cast really put in their 100% and the results are starting to show. It's not too late guys, so don't worry too much... you're getting there, so keep at it for another week. That's all you people have... and then you'd wish it wasn't over... Trust me.

The hall server has been doing pretty well lately. Forums have toned down a little, but there are a lot of lurkers around. Also, We managed finally to implement a little feature called php on our site, which will make updating a whole lot easier. I'm just waiting for some JCRC (Rubba probably) to come online so I can give him the details. Hopefully then the whining in the forums about 'lack of updates' will cease somewhat. Not that I don't appreciate the feedback, but if all people can post is 'WHY NOT UPDATES ONE???!!!1111' and don't tell me what you mean by updates I frankly couldn't care less. Yes, the hall main page is important, and updates are important, but I have no direct way of obtaining information on ALL the upcoming events. So please, if you guys want an update on the main page about an event, tell me WHAT INFORMATION YOU WANT ON THE MAIN PAGE. Maybe then I can help you guys out.

Studies are OK I guess, lagging a little bit, but I'm trying to catch up again (Tutorials) in the midst of concert. Test results were satisfactory so far. Believing God for the rest.

Today is Cell Group day! YAY! It's been a 'low' week, a lot of people feeling the stress and pressure of concert. I thank God I was given the opportunity to be an encouragement to some of them. I'm looking forward to getting refreshed later, so thank you God!

Gundam Seed Destiny ended it's run I think at episode 50. The ending was fine I guess, but it feels rushed... so unless I'm mistaken and there's at least one more episode to wrap things up, I'm a little disappointed.

... I was approached by someone asking if I was interested in doing modelling. o.O The ironic thing is that it's concert period and our production is about modelling. I don't understand exactly why they decided to approach me... I don't think I look like I can model anything... maybe if I worked out more... but I don't. *oops* I told them no, but they insisted on my number. Delusions of grandeur maybe, but I acquiesced. I got a call and I told them to contact me another time... I'm not particularly free these few weeks... Heard that some of these are scams asking you to pay them or something, so I'm probably going to just tell them NO. I don't think being a pretty boy to market something is something I wanna do anyway.

The number of people who visit have dwindled lately. Probably because I stopped updating more regularly. Sorry guys, but I DO have a lot of other things to do, unless you want one sentence updates... I rather save up and unload in a huge 'essay' though. Till next time...

The utter lack of direction is what makes life extremely boring. That's what I truly believe, and somehow, I think I'm currently in that very uncertain situation. I'd like to look ahead and have plenty of things to look forward to, but nothing seems too appealing just now. There's church and cell of course, and that's exciting and interesting, but apart from that, it's been pretty routine.

Mid terms starting... I've done what I can for tomorrow's paper and I'm going to call it a night. I hope to be able to do decently in this paper since I believe I put in quite a bit of effort and I claim the good results now because I believe God will give me those results. (Positive confession really works) Writing this by faith too... So Lord, please, help!

Concert is coming up soon too. I've been helping around here and there, doing the occasional little bits here and there. It can be quite nice and the year 1s have a LOT OF POTENTIAL. I just hope they realise that, put in their effort and make it a good one. They can do a much better job than us, so I certainly hope they push for that.

And yes, I haven't updated much lately, but i'll try to again from now on. The hall server is doing ok now, so that's a relief. That also means I get more time to do everything else. I might take up more sports if I can... so that's great.

The next time I see my parents i'll be in KL. It'll be fun to go back there and stay with them instead of Thailand. Hope they're both doing fine. Praying for them and my sister too. Love you all!

Ok, time to sleep. Paper tomorrow, so I'll catch some rest. Tata!