Crush, Like and Love

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I almost forgot about this until I read CK's blog. I didn't realise that a question like this would provoke so much uncertainty in so many people. What's the difference? How do you tell one from the other? Does it matter whether or not you can? I may not be able to answer everything, but I do have my own opinions on this issue.

It's important to know the difference because (quoted from Jer Hsuan) "You need to know where you stand so that you can decide what you want to do".

Firstly, I personally think a crush is when you are infatuated by a person, by his/her outer appearance, by his/her actions, mannerisms... all those external things which are what make a first impression. It is the first step to attraction and it may or may not lead to something fruitful, especially since most people realise that crushes are just that; superficial likes which although feels good, isn't necessarily something terribly big.

'Like' however, is a step further. It's when you realise that a person isn't just like every other person, but you also know that the feeling is not merely superficial. When you 'like' a person, you become very aware of that person, and there's a lot of emotions involved. It may or may not progress into something more, but this is the stage where initial courtship takes place I guess. It's the time guys (or girls) try to 'make their move' so to speak. It can easily be confused with a crush, but the distinction is that you know and you know it's not just their outer appearance that attracts you.

The third and I believe most misused of the three is love. IMHO, the phrase 'I love you' has been overused to the point that it is diluted, and people throw it around blatantly without thinking about the gravity of those words. We keep forgetting just how special it ought to be. When do you love a person? I think you love someone when you can come to the point you make a decision to keep liking a person even if you don't 'feel' like it anymore. You love someone when you'd do anything to please that person and make that person happy. You love someone when you'd willingly deny yourself for that person's visions, dreams, aspirations. You truly love someone when the decisions you make show just how much you put that person ahead of yourself, when you do things for that person's sake even if you know and you know that you will gain absolutely nothing out of it. You truly love someone when you expect nothing in return even though you may hope for it. That's what I believe love is, and if that person responds in kind, then you are truly blessed.

But again, this is just my opinion, my personal view on the issue. Some may disagree with me, and I wouldn't be surprised if people have different definitions of all three. However, this is what I believe from the core of my being, it is what I base my own life on. I hope that all of you (whoever reads this blog) think long and hard about your own set of definitions (or feel free to take mine if you agree with them). Valentines Day is coming, I hope everyone of you can enjoy it to the fullest!

Posted by Gerald at 2/07/2006 06:36:00 PM