Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Yes... I finally bid adieu to my exams. Had my last paper and it wasn't too bad. My papers this semester were pretty ok I should think... I don't know how well I do, but I believe that God will pull through for me. My confidence is in Him! I guess I really did study and do my part this time around. Hardly slacked aroud... well... I did, but it was more like breaks between studying...

As a reward, I'm going out today... Finally heading to town instead of being cooped up in NUS/Clementi area is pretty exciting, or as some put it, finally getting a life. Lunch will be a lot better than 'economic rice'... Won't have much time before I'll be going back to KL though.

To those who haven't finished their exams, all the best. I'll try not to distract you. To those who finished, don't waste the holidays.

Don't really have much left to say except, well, maybe when I come back later... ^_^

Posted by Gerald at 11/30/2005 11:51:00 AM

Extreme Duress...

Saturday, November 26, 2005

It's midway through my exams and there are 'some' people who have already finished. Yes, I know you're celebrating your liberation, but do spare us poor souls since we still have to face more papers this coming week. Add the fact that I have not one but TWO papers coming and you can see that this isn't exactly the best time for temptations.

*begin rant*

I did quite a few past year papers these few days, but I still feel the inadequacy, which I'm compensating for by reading up those parts which I am unsure of. Only problem is, I don't know if it's sufficient. There may be some topics which I may have to memorise totally in order to answer those questions. Curses, it's a freaking closed book examination. There can't possibly be anything worse than knowing that you can do this topic and that it's pure memory work required to answer the question, even when you got your concepts right. PLUS, there's a whole new programming language which requires me to memorise the syntax to reproduce the coding, but we know that if we actually use a program to generate it, it will automatically generate certain pieces of the code via a template. Who'd bother memorising which library is used when?

Maybe I'm just complaining because I don't memorise them myself, meaning I didn't study enough... but I don't believe studying and 'understanding' should be tested based simply on memory work. How much of what we actually study will be applicable to us when we go out to work in the future anyway? And EVEN if it was, we probably still have to go out and memorise it AGAIN in the future no?

*end rant*

Ignore what's written above... It's just me being whiney and wanting to put the blame on the system. It's my fault if I don't memorise it I guess... So that's what I'm trying to do now... Although I feel that I'm unsure of WHAT to memorise and what NOT to... God help me! There's 2 more papers, the one on Monday doesn't seem TOO difficult... although I hope they don't suddenly pull stunts this year. The past 2 semesters' papers were pretty doable... but I still need to work more on them I guess.

To all those who finished, congratulations! Now stop tempting us who haven't into playing... Thank goodness there are people who help me stand up against temptation. I'm really looking forward to the end of exams... There's a lot to look forward to really... These few days have been really great although there's exams and all... In the midst of it, God really brought a lot of joy into my life... and I'm really grateful for it. Thank you SO MUCH, God for blessing me so much... I don't know what else to say except... thank you!

Plans? Catch Harry Potter, go back to KL and see my family, spend time with KL peeps, church, Christmas, Hall... and much more! Semester and year coming to a close... I claim from God that it will definitely end better than when it started!

Edit: Did what I should've done from the start... No point asking me to play anymore... or to use my comp... it's just not there anymore... I'm sure you guys will have a ball... *rollseyes*

Posted by Gerald at 11/26/2005 09:06:00 PM


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I have never felt more sorry and guiltyfor being careless than today. Spilling iced milo on someone isn't something to be proud of... I wished I could just turn back time and stay far far away from even getting close to making a mistake like that, but wishful thinking. I'm so very very sorry Elaine... >.<

Schedule is still study, study and study more... I'm probably not the most hardworking person around, but I try my best. I DO hope that I can do well to glorify Him.

Today, someone had a breakdown because of exams. I guess there's a lot of pressure to perform, but I really believe that God will always help us as His children to pull through. I prayed for her and shared a few words with her... I hope I managed to encourage her and help her to continue to trust in God. I really believe that even if it's difficult, no matter what situation you're in, no matter how bad the circumstances, no matter how terrible you think you are, God can ALWAYS redeem you and bring you back to the right track. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will bless you and as long as you cling on to Him, you will be able to see miracles in your life. God is always there, but you must persevere in seeking Him, otherwise you may not find Him. Everything about God works by faith, and if you don't mix your faith with works, God will not reveal Himself to you. The word I believe God had was Philip 3:12-14. No matter what happened in the past, whether the previous paper was good, or bad, we should put it behind us, and work towards the next one. God has called us to shine for Him, and as students, we are to do well. That is our calling, that is our purpose. So if we FOCUS on our purpose, we should put aside interim successes (the good papers we had) and the disappointments (the bad papers we had) and keep on keeping on to complete that which God has called us to do. I sincerely hope that this ministers even to me.

God is really good... He blesses us with everything we need to do what He wants us to do, so that He can bless us. I truly believe that in Christ, I can do it! He can do it for you too, just trust in Him!

Posted by Gerald at 11/22/2005 02:49:00 AM

Some photos...

Sunday, November 20, 2005

I finally got to putting photos on my blog. Taking a break from studying (Yes, I really did study today... I didn't play) and decided to post this up.

This model in case you're wondering is from Gundam SeeD. It's called the Freedom. And is really cool. The model I have is an MG (Master Grade), and isn't exactly cheap. Thanks Alex for the present. It's really nice!

Posted by Gerald at 11/20/2005 06:37:00 PM

My new desktop

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I'm trying out the photo feature of this w.bloggar thingy. At least it makes attaching photos easier, though now that I think about it, it doesn't really do much since I still have to upload the photos myself. ^_^ Oh, in case you're wondering, this picture is now my desktop background. It was drawn during my birthday celebration (Check previous posts). Cheeky friends...

Today's paper was quite alright... I hope tomorrow's will be as good. God, I did what I could, and everything else is up to You. I trust You, Lord!

Posted by Gerald at 11/19/2005 01:58:00 AM

Time to fight!

Friday, November 18, 2005

It is time... I will have to face my first challenge, CS2102. This module on database has not been easy, but i've put in my best effort in studying. Lord help me! Timecheck: 2 hours till paper.

Tomorrow I will have Linear Algebra: MA1101R. Starts at 1 pm, so I should be able to get some rest. Again, been doing what I can already.

First time trying out this w.bloggar™ thingy. Seems pretty cool. I can even add pictures to it, so I'll see if I can put up something soon... Probably my beautiful model which I still have yet to take photos of. >.<

Ok, time to sign off... Lunch, then taking my paper. To everyone else having exams too, ALL THE BEST!

Posted by Gerald at 11/18/2005 12:24:00 PM

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

My daily regiment: Wake up, eat, study, eat, study, eat, study, eat, study sleep... Wonderful! God give me wisdom, understanding, strength and Your annointing to do more in less time. I don't believe I've ever studied so much before.

I don't know how much more of this I can take, but one thing I DO know, is that I will press it through, keep on keeping on, and focus on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. I will hold fast to His precepts, His principles, His word. Regardless of the circumstances, or the outcome, Lord teach me to trust in You, to continue to believe in Your word, and to look above and beyond myself in ALL that I do. It's not about me, it's never about me. I humble myself and submit everything of me to You, because it is only in YOU that I can find fulfilment.

For we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose, and I stand on this promise. Hoping that what I want, what I do, what I think is according to His will, not mine. Furthermore, help me to continue to be a blessing to those around regardless of how busy I am, and to remember that although MY goals are important, God's calling is equally important, if not more so.

Lord, give me the patience, willpower and strength to go through this period. Give me the faith to persevere and to push through without stumbling. Give me the grace to continue keeping on even if I DO stumble, for I am but a man. We know that everything is in Your hands, and Lord I pray that I can be someone with a character that You can be proud of. I believe in You, and everything I do, I do according to Your word, so HELP ME LORD! I need You!

Posted by Gerald at 11/15/2005 11:50:00 AM

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Hectic period... had so many deadlines... Firstly, Mon I had a presentation, followed by an assesed lab which accounted for 15% of my grade. This was followed by Can You Make It?, a competition organised by final years for us to showcase your talents... I'm quite happy with the results... won third, so I was blessed with some cash... Although admittedly I think my partner, Alby deserved the money more since his singing was superb!

After the competition, it was mugging time, for yet another assessed lab today, as well as a test for my database course. The good news is, it's all over, and thank God I think it's quite alright.

The exam period is coming, so studies are a priority. There's bible study tonight though, churchwide, on the tabernacle. So I'll probably take a short break... of one day... to write my blog, destress, go for BS etc.

Yes, my birthday is over... but I still can't stop feeling truly blessed! Even amidst all the work, I can still find it in me to keep smiling. ^_^

Post exams aren't going to be much of a rest either... there are many things to do, like head home and fix up the computers in the comp suite, and move out my stuff (since hall might just be renovated), prepare for Christmas etc. So there are a lot of things happening and although I'm looking forward to them, there's still exams to go through.

To all of you who can find the time to read my blog, and keep me in your prayers, here's the timetable:

18 Nov 2005, PM (Afternoon)
19 Nov 2005, 1300hrs (Afternoon)
23 Nov 2005, 0900hrs (Morning)
28 Nov 2005, AM (Morning)
30 Nov 2005, AM (Morning)

Yes, I have yet to confirm the time for those which aren't stated... just whether it's in the morning of afternoon... >.<

So please keep me in prayers. I appreciate it very much.

I might post something more eventful or interesting, but not now... Perhaps if I suddenly have something I feel strongly about then I will...

Posted by Gerald at 11/08/2005 03:46:00 PM

Saturday, November 05, 2005

I'm truly blessed! I cannot remember the last time I was this happy.

So I was in my room at 11.50, guessing that something was going to come up since they have a tendency to do it around that time. I just didn't know what exactly to expect, half expecting a phone call or something to go to comm hall, maybe... but NOOOOO... they just HAD to troupe every single person to 3A-406.5. So there I was, on my bed, and then out pops one head, then two, then another and another and finally there were so many that it's a wonder noone fainted. Then they started singing as Elaine brought the cake in. Made my wish (secret lar) and blew out the 2.1 candles. Thus ended phase one.

I walked out and I was shocked! There were SO MANY people, not just the 3A people. The likes of Mei Kit, Yuan Mei and I-Mei (all the Mei's ^_^) were present. So were Fish and Yujun. Not forgetting the year 1s who looked a little lost and left out, but it's fine... You're welcome anytime! And I appreciate all of you for coming even though you feel a little 'alien'.

There were also call-ins... due to the fact that they couldn't make it... SMSes came in too, and my poor inbox needs to be cleaned (can't bring myself to delete those wishes). Thank you everyone!

Then the next 'event' took place, details of which I shall not mention. Suffice to say, the colour of my back could rival that of thoroughly boiled lobster. I ended up with cake in my hair too (thanks to a certain vengeful bird). So I went to clean up.

I think what I realised the most is that I am so truly blessed to have so many people around me. I appreciate the celebration and the thought of putting it together for me, and I thank you for it... but more than that, I realised that I have so many people around me that I can truly call friends! You all mean a lot to me. And yes, you've all made a very big difference in my life, even if you feel you haven't done all that much. Just by being there, I have all the reason in the world to feel truly and utterly blessed! I appreciate everything that you have done, and I guess I just want to say... THANK YOU!!! I really can't bear losing any of you. I feel so touched, so blessed, so loved!

Posted by Gerald at 11/05/2005 11:00:00 AM

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Sometimes you wonder if whatever you're doing is what you SHOULD be doing... Or maybe you ponder about why life seems surreal at times, almost like a dream, yet you know you're not dreaming. Life constantly bombards you with situations which are usually bittersweet... You may be unhappy about diffcult circumstances, yet pleased that you can face it and overcome it. You can be happy that things are going well, but also worry that perhaps they are going TOO well... Or maybe the REAL answer is that some people just think too much when they shouldn't; People like me.

Logic is my main mode of operation. I usually reason everything out; every situation, every dilemma, every option, every path, every possible outcome... and I choose which is 'logically' the best. I say USUALLY because there are definitely times I do things which are irrational... but that's besides the point. Whenever I get into a rut, I like to analyse, think, reason out... Why am I down? Why am I in this situation? What's the problem? How do I solve the problem? Is it just me or is it because of external factors? And sometimes it gets really tiring, because I tend to spend quite a substantial amount of time thinking about things instead of doing anything. Of course, by thinking rationally and reasoning logically... I do it not based on my experience alone, but also from my understanding of God's word. Is it wrong? Isn't it appropriate to stop and think about what you're doing or are going to do? Where do you draw the line? You definitely can't spend years thinking over an issue, but you don't want to do something without thinking it through thoroughly either...

Thank goodness God is good and He gives His children wisdom which enables us to make decisions that are for our own good. Wisdom is something I pray for every day. Wisdom to study, to know what to say, when to say it, how to say it, wisdom in actions, wisdom in making decisions. And I really thank God for His many blessings in this area.

So, is there something bothering me? Yes and no. Yes, I think it's affecting me, but I'm going to constantly focus on the revelation I got... to continue to be a blessing, and as long as I keep that in front of me, I can smile no matter what happens.

Does anything mentioned above make sense? Probably not. Guess I'll just have to trust God and keep on keeping on...

Posted by Gerald at 11/02/2005 09:02:00 PM