Personal Blather!

Have you ever had anyone come up to you and tell you to "shut up 'cos you don't know anything?" I was a little shocked really... I was also quite pissed, but I kept it under wraps (quite an achievement for me) and now I'm ok. Still, it did get me to start thinking about handling situations like this.

To be truthful, I don't subscribe to that kind of mentality. Just because someone deems you 'inadequate' doesn't mean that person has the right to tell you to shut up. Everyone has their own niche, so what if I'm not a sportsperson who plays every single sport there is? So what if sports don't seem to be my first choice to fill my time? Does that make me a total idiot when it comes to sportsmanship? I guess to some people it does. I guess it doesn't matter to some people that even though you're not involved in it directly, you may have a valid point. I also guess that if and only if you are an 'expert' can you ever have a say in any matter.

I find it rude and uncouth. If I deemed everyone who doesn't make it into a university incapable of intellectual reasoning and thus tell them to one to shut up when it comes to an intellectual discussion, that would be totally unreasonable. True, I probably can claim I have a 'higher education', but that does not mean that any points that those people may raise are irrelevent. Let's draw a parallel since I'm probably more 'cultural' than sporty. If someone who has minimal musical 'knowledge' can I then tell that person to shut up when there's a discussion on the quality of a particular play or music piece because I'm "a better judge of music than you and therefore your views are all wrong because you know sh*t!" That is illogical, nonsensical and childish. I won't even bother to explain why.

I think there should be a lot of tact in dealing with these situations. I'm not exempting myself from this because I probably have that failing too (or a somewhat similar one), but if you really find that someone is uttering nonsense, then at least use your EXPERIENCE to reason with that person, not tell the person to just 'shut up'. Don't fall back on 'Holier than thou' statements to validate your point. It only marks you out as a childish person. If you truly have a greater knowledge in the area, prove it by reasoning, not by bringing the other person down.

On another totally unrelated note, I was also asked recently if a guy and a girl can be close but 'just friends'. In my opinion, it can happen, but under very specific circumstances. Usually, if they're friends and nothing happens but they get closer, I can almost guarantee that either party or both at one point or another had more than friendship in mind. It is if and ONLY if, the feelings were one sided and it led to a confrontation which was handled well by both parties that this special situation of a guy and girl just being close friends might possibly occur. Even then, it is probably only safe to assume that it will stay that way IF one of the two or BOTH get attached to different people.

I think it's good that people draw lines, but I also feel that instead of avoiding the person after a confrontation, both parties should talk it out so that both are clear about what the other party is looking for, and they ought to respect that. By avoiding the rejected party (in this case I'd reckon it's the guy, so this is for the girls), you DO paint a very clear picture that it's a NO with a capital 'N' and a capital 'O', but you also risk losing that friend. I don't think all guys are braindead and have absolutely no respect for what the girl wants, and it's not like they're unreasonable (although some probably are...). Talk to him and make it clear what you want, how it stands, what you'd like him to do (or more importantly, what NOT to do). If he likes you enough he will respect that... but if he doesn't he probably didn't like you all that much to begin with... or was liking you for the wrong reasons.

I don't claim to have the 'textbook answer'. It is your prerogative how you handle the situation (or for the one rejected, how you react to the situation). For me, I'd like it to happen this way, but I guess I can't always have my way... that's life! Tough huh?

No political postings from me today. I've read many recently and I'm saddened... it doesn't help that I literally can't do anything about it... or even if there was, I wouldn't know where to start. School starts in full swing soon, so I might not bother to look any further into it... or maybe I will...