Personal Blather!

Today, I thought through some things and I guess I've come to a very seemingly obvious conclusion... although it's quite a revelation to me.

What's the difference between serving and working? One very basic thing... serving is giving your all to further the cause of another without hope of reward, payment or acknowledgement... whereas working is doing it FOR THE SAKE of the reward. How does this affect me? Simply that if I were to do something for another person, I wouldn't be genuinely serving if I was expecting something in return... acknowledgement, or maybe recognition.

Something happened in concert this year... I wasn't in the Concert Central Committee, but I still put in a lot of effort (I think). I helped write the script (edit and whatnot), handle their web stuff, did some publicity stints and finally went to cast, helping the directing (minor role there) and dancing. I enjoyed every moment of it, but I think I felt a little left out because as a senior, you don't really get the same kind of recognition as a first year... neither do people acknowledge you as a CCC member. So in a sense, it was a bit weird. I didn't quite fit in either group...

I appreciate all the encouragement and thanks that everyone has given to me. Really... there's no need to go buy anything after you read this... I don't expect you to do that. In fact, after today, I have a whole different perspective on this area. I'd like to think of me as having done my part, serving a greater cause (Concert) and done it well, without doing it for the recognition, position or fame... And receiving any of the 'rewards' COULD undermine that. Not saying that you should all stop giving gifts, but I don't want to come to a point where I start doing a lot of things so that people will go shower me with thanks and praise.

I think what I really want to say is that I shouldn't expect anything when I'm serving... not thanks, not gifts, not acknowledgements, NOTHING. It'll be great if I got them, and I thank you for it, but I shouldn't go around feeling unappreciated and moody if I didn't... (At this point, all of you'll probably point your finger at me and say... oooh... you wanted it!) I admit, I did feel left out... but hey, I feel much much better now because I changed my mindset. I'm glad and I'm glad and I'm glad I had the opportunity to serve, and it turned out great! So that is reward enough for me... regardless of whether or not I received anything.

So the conclusion? Serving has taken on a new dimension for me, and that includes in church... or rather, I should say ESPECIALLY in church. I think I really understand what my CGL has been talking about... but God is good... for His joy fills our hearts even as we serve, and we are appreciated by Him. That is probably more fulfilling than any reward anyone can give!

Think I've said enough. Tiring day today, but I'm happy I can realise this myself. Part of the reason of posting is so that I can remind myself constantly that this is the mindset I should have... and I pray and I pray and I pray that God help me keep it!