When you question the rightness of things
Friday, December 16, 2005
There are some issues in life which really get you thinking... What's the 'right' decision? What's the 'right' course of action? What's the 'right' thing to do? It's hard to answer all these questions, especially when it concerns issues that aren't explicitly stated in the bible. (Referenced because it's the basis for which I base my life principles) And then there are times you wonder if those answers are actually the important ones... maybe the questions should be "IS there a right decision?" "Should I do this or that? OR maybe doing NOTHING is the 'right' thing to do?" True, it depends on the situation, but these questions always plague us when we're faced with a situation with so many variables.
Am I doing the right thing? Maybe I should be more selfish... but I rather be self sacrificial than to be selfish... especially if it concerns people I really care for. I can't control the circumstances, just my reaction to them. I rather be the one that gives in to people instead of the person forcing everyone to do MY things MY way. Of course I stand up for the things I truly feel should be stood up against. Of course I draw the line when it comes to things which are clear. I also stand my ground if I think it's way over the line... but it's just that my line isn't quite as rigid as most people's... and it makes me seem very 'bochap', 'chinchai', 'tidak apa'... Well, I think I am, because if it makes you happy, then go ahead and use whichever method you think works best, doing whatever you think is best for you. I have my own dreams, aspirations, desires, but they're simple, uncomplicated ones, and as long as they're not directly opposing yours, I don't see a reason NOT to give in... That's assuming of course, that I have any say in the situation in the first place...
In everything I do, I always try to commit it to God... And I do so again in this case. I have faith in God, that although I really don't want to, although I don't feel like doing it, although it's really difficult for me to do it, I will still place it in His hands, wait for His will, and pray that in the end, my faithfulness will be rewarded. I believe that two nights ago, I was given the nudge to go for it. I hold on to it, just as I've held on to everything else that God spoke to me about this matter since the beginning... and pray for the best... Lord help me!
I think I'm a very simple guy. It doesn't take much to make me happy. My mum used to tell me about how she'd get a single cone of ice cream and break off a teeny bit from the bottom of the cone, take a teeny bit of ice cream and give my my own mini cone ice cream. My sis would get the rest though, and I never complained. In fact, I was very happy with that little cone. I think I haven't changed much since then... You made my day just be coming over. ^_^