Personal Blather!

I had a pretty enjoyable time this CNY. Family get together in Ipoh was quite ok I guess. Betting sessions were fun though, since for the first time in many years, our resident dealer lost big time, and mostly to his pre-teen daughter and her cousins. Ouch.

Food was abundant and we stuffed ourselves a lot during the week. I even brought back some extra. Somehow, I didn't feel the CNY joy when I left, and I also didn't feel in the 'study mood' when I got back. It was a bit of a slow start, but thankfully 3 assignments are done and the last one is due next week. I still have time for it, so I won't kill myself doing it just now. I got a midterm this coming Friday so that takes priority.

Rhazzmatazz was pretty enjoyable last night. I know there were some hiccups in the organising, but I think it turned out fine. It was very enjoyable, and the performances were much better than I expected. I was pretty impressed especially by all the talented first years who put up many different performances, and they were fantastic. It's quite nice not having to be involved in a production for a change. I wouldn't have minded doing it I guess, but I appreciate the time I saved. It wouldn't do to kill myself...

I've been reading a bit on what's been going on in the tech world lately. In case you haven't noticed, there's a nifty new gadget on the right side of the blog now, catering to inform you of some of the interesting things I'm reading about. I expect my blog doesn't get as many visitors anymore, but hey, I'm still updating it when I find the time.

Picked up a good book over the weekend and I must say, it has been a real blessing to me. I think I'm being freed from some of the things that held me back previously. I'm finding the courage to look up even more, and to set my heart right in everything I do, so I guess it's a worthwhile investment. I certainly hope some of my other investments pay off, particularly since I spent quite a bit on them...

My sister will be getting married this year, so this was the last time our family would be together, in a manner of speaking. Hope to spend more time with her here over the next few months. ^_^

The 14th of February has never been a very happy day for me. As far back as I can remember it was always a time where a particular 'missing' part in my life becomes much more pronounced. I'm not saying that this is always bad, or that being single means I'm imperfect or 'unwhole', but life could be better no? I received a revelation lately, about how in the Bible, there were many women who were barren, and they cried out because of their barrenness. It didn't mean that it was wrong to 'want' something more and better in life. Isn't God enough? Isn't just having Him in your life sufficient? Yes, but He has meant for us to be joined and not alone, and to fully experience the promises He has for us, that means finding that someone too.

Going back to the main issue, the 14th of February isn't particularly the happiest day of my life. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I weren't reminded of how there have been many times where it was just a day of futile, fruitless effort, marked only by impending failure. Guess I'm not as lucky as some people. This isn't a self-bashing session, and no, I'm not feeling totally down and out. I sometimes just wonder whether these efforts amount to anything... Food for thought...

This year, the 14th of February is more than just a sad, lonely day. It will mark the day I lost my only grandfather as well. It's not easy even though I'm not extremely close to him. I feel really bad, because I didn't get to see him before he went. I'd have liked to have seen him once before he went... He wasn't perfect, but he was a good man. I hope that everyone will be able to get through this, particularly my mother. So much for a 'happy', 'prosperous' Chinese New Year...

I don't really have the mood to write lots and lots about this, but suffice to say, I don't see a particularly happy 14th Feb for me anytime soon...

Finally, the first match will be tomorrow. Nothing much to say except there have been delays and FINALLY there's a chance for us to play. I have mixed feelings about it, but in the end, I guess I'm looking forward to it. Praying for protection against injury and that nothing will go wrong. Hoping for a win against EH.

Got a small part in a government advertisement with some lines. Apparently they'll call me. Yes, it's a MINOR role, so they won't pay all that much... I thought they'd pay more but well... at least I'm getting paid... >.<

Rev. Dr. A. R. Bernard's message last Saturday was one to remember. It was on the 28th of January 2007 and the message was about how your greatest value in life is your value to God. It really hit the spot after what I shared with sis just before attending the service. I really felt that message was specifically sent by God for me. Thank You so much! And no, I'm not blind or ignorant, so I will accept it if it is what You want. Don't worry, I'll still hold my head up! Thanks for putting up with me...

Well, calling it a night. I unfortunately can't keep very far ahead of work since most of my lecturers have a 'last minute put out tutorials and notes' habit. 3 hour lecture tomorrow...

It's UBER late, but I guess I should articulate (or rather, write down) some goals to pursue this year. Tagged by Shimmer.

1) Get straight 'A's. I've never gotten it before in university, and although it seems like an impossible task, I'm aiming high. At least if I miss the sun, i'll still get the moon. >.<

2) Retire from hall activities. Not that I don't want to be involved, but it would be quite sweet to actually ENJOY the things that are happening instead of always being INVOLVED in them.

3) Handball IHG gold. Group effort, but the least I can do is resolve to play like I'm winning it. That's what I'm aiming for.

4) Make more wallpapers. I enjoy the work and although it's not exactly well recognised, I'm satisfied by looking at how people can actually use my work on their own screens. It's a great way to improve photoshop skills too.

5) Find 'her'. This one I'm least focussed on simply because it's the case of "if it comes, it comes"... still, no reason not to put this in... regardless of how 'unlikely' to happen it may seem...

There. My five resolutions this year. I honestly think I'll aim for some other things too, but they might not be of as much interest to most people... Hope you guys have your resolutions too!

It's been awfully long since I last posted. I've been busy with trainings as IHG is coming, but I think I can squeeze out some time to post a little.

Things have been going pretty ok these few weeks. Training is ok, studies aren't too bad, hall life is manageable (although very much lacking lately...), cell has been fun... I don't have all that much to rant about. ^^

In any case, I've recently purchased a new mouse to replace my old one. This one is very cool, being wireless and portable, I can sit on my bed and use it. Really handy to watch movies / anime.

Some of the latest animes I've been chasing include Sokou no Strain, Code Geass, Gantz, Ikkitousen, and History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi. I get about an episode a week at most, so it's not that bad. They're a mixture of exciting, funny, mindless, mecha and thought provoking stories. I'll save my comments till after I finish the series.

I've decided to get the MG Strike Freedom for S$48. Unfortunately, it's not the Full Burst Mode, but I might get it some other time... when the price is more affordable. Getting it directly from Japan seems to really cut the cost, so if there's anyone going to Japan please let me know ASAP. Here's what I want to get and here's what I'm getting. I'd get the Full Burst Mode straight if they were in stock.

In any case, life seems to be droning on. I'm hoping I'll have much more to share. The sermon these past few weeks have been really good, and I'd like to download them if possible. The Cultural Mandate is truly something we all have to try to achieve. Catch the webcast if you want to find out what I'm talking about.

Well, that's it. Hopefully I'll post again soon...

I always thought strength was being able to face challenges. Strength is the capability to overcome where others could not. Is that all it is?

Apparently not. True strength is the ability to pick yourself up over and over again. What this means is that despite your apparent tendency to fail, you still pick yourself up and try again and again regardless of how hopeless it seems. Sometimes, we only agree to 'play' when we can 'win'. We already give up when we think we can't win. The bible tells us to do everything we possibly can, and when we have done just that, to STAND. I'm guessing that God won't always 100% give you success even if you follow every single one of His principles. The fact that there is a 'chance' it might not go the way we want it to, or the way we THINK it should go, is the reason we need FAITH.

In any case, this was the sermon last Sunday. I picked up quite a lot from it, and I truly believe it applies to every area in life: Studies, work, ministry, and yes, even relationship. Go check it out at the CHC website and you'll know what I mean.

On another note, congratulations MOKS for successfully graduating from SOT and winning the award for "Best Minister". I'm not surprised you won and you probably deserve it. God bless you!

So what do you do when you have a few days of nothing to do? I personally don't know. As usual, you always seem to have a lot of things to do before your exams end, but once they do, you find that nothing interests you enough to inspire you to do them. Perhaps it's because we're so tired that we can't seem to find the strength to do it, but honestly, it's probably just a natural thing that happens. I learned fairly early that one ought to list down everything that needs to be done BEFORE the end of the exams, all the things you want to do, the movies you want to catch, the errands you've been putting off, the hobby you decided to stop pursuing... Alas my list is short and I still haven't started on it...

A celebration (post exams in this case) would only truly be a celebration if it was not alone. Let's face it, even though my exams are over, if there's noone to share in my joy, then there's basically no difference is there? It's times like this that you wished you had someone standing by you... alas, I don't seem to have that privilege. Lamentations as usual... but of course, that does not mean I am desperate for one...

Recently, Pastor Phil Pringle's sermon really hit the mark. It seems a lot of us (well, I'll speak for at LEAST myself), have deviated from focusing on Jesus, and not on anything else. It's so easy to say "I'm doing this for You, Lord" or "Lord, I pray for A, B, C, D, E and F. Thanks, Lord. Bye." I was convicted because although I didn't just pray for blessings in my life, I didn't really try to seek Him. I was being selfish in that sense. Sure, I could justify and say I was praying for someone else, for my family, for world peace even, but really, isn't God what it's all about? The one phrase that comes back into my mind at this point:

KEEP the MAIN THING, the MAIN THING!

It's been a long while since I've written. Rest assured it's not that I gave up on blogging, but my exams are here and life is now just a mundane routine of study study eat study study eat study study eat study study sleep rinse and repeat. How's that for an interesting life?

My timetable for those who can help support me:

27/11/06 - 1 PM CS3220 Computer Architecture
30/11/06 - 1 PM CS3230 Design and Analysis of Algorithms
01/12/06 - 230 PM ST2131Probability and Statistics

Now that that's out of the way, let me just say a few things I realised lately. When I do things I don't have the passion for, I lose my vision of it very fast. I shall refrain from going into too much detail.

I shall head back to studying now. Obviously I don't really enjoy it, but thank God He's helping me through. Trying my best...

So what's new? Nothing much really. Exams again, same routine again, stress again, project deadlines again... the usual. Can't really complain all that much, but I'm trying my best to do well...

I'll take this opportunity to share a little about the happenings around. It seems this year has been a very eventful year. I don't know whether it's all good, but things have sort of been this way lately. The semester started with a lot of promise, but the surprising thing was that what we predicted would happen didn't. Everything we though couldn't happen did. Talk about irony.

To the lost, I'm talking about attachments, and no i'm not talking about the work kind. It seems my group of friends have a sudden flood of interesting news... Mostly unexpected. One does wonder why it had to take a full year (some two or more) for it to happen. And you would've thought it would be the fresh blood, but NOOO... guess when it comes right down to it, it seems that honest friendship is what makes it work.

Everyone is busy studying now. Not much time for much else. I'm having mixed feelings about it. I have a presentation next week, but that presentation made me have only 3 finals this semester. I'll have to focus on them though, and hopefully I'll do better this semester.

Alright, this is about as long as a post can get. I'll be signing off now...

My birthday was yesterday, and it wasn't exactly the most eventful one. As usual, having my birthday at this time of year means everyone is having exams soon and don't have time to really celebrate. I'm not a person very big on ceremonies and presents, so I think it's fine. Undoubtedly, last year was a little more eventful, but I'm not complaining... not really...

To summarise my birthday, it was wake up attend church, go for lunch, back for handball, dinner in hall, CCC meeting, short celebration, resume CCC meeting and sleep. I got a lot of greetings throughout and that's good enough for me. To the few who went the extra mile, thank you. Especially to my cell group members who went through a lot of trouble to make a nice card and get me some shirts. I appreciate it a lot.

I don't really see birthdays as a very huge occasion. Essentially, it's just like any other day. To some, it might be an excuse to think it's particularly special, and I guess that's inevitable, since we all seem to think we are special in our own ways. That's no reason to go out of your way to celebrate, particularly if most people don't have the time. I think the best thing anyone can give me for my birthday is to spend time with me (to those who don't know my love language). I guess that's quite impractical though. ^^;

Oh, here's a nice little post you might want to check out. CLICK

Well, short post really. Concert is over but work isn't. Gotta get back to it!

You'd think that after yesterday I'd be free to do some of the things I've been putting off for the past few weeks. It's not exactly wrong, except I have so much backlogged work that I have no choice but to do them now... which leaves little time to do many OTHER things that I'd have liked to.

SWINGERS! was absolutely AMAZING! That's the only way to describe it. I could go on about the sets and how big and impressive they were, or how dazzling the costumes were, or how well the cast performed, but then everyone would think I was biased. However, it is not hipocrisy to say that this year's concert is, to me, one of the best if not THE BEST concert! We stretched ourselves and did a third show, and although there were some doubts initially, it turned out to be the correct thing to do. From the opening night show we were all "bowled over" by the performance and everyone was suitably impressed. The matinee came out great and we finished it in time for our finale. It was truly spectacular, and already I'm beginning to miss concert.

Personally, it has been an amazing experience and I've growned a lot through this journey. I've learned much more than I could ever imagine and I think this is something that I will carry with me always. I'm really blessed to be able to work with such a great team, and I feel really privileged to be given the opportunity to lead them. You guys are truly amazing and my heartfelt gratitude goes out to you. You guys made this possible!

My thanks also goes out to my sister and my parents especially for making the trip down to Singapore just to support me, Pin Tsin and my cell members, Patrick, Sue Ann, Yewei, Paulus, Jamie, Lishi, Yang Qian, Alex, Zhen Ni, Jeffri and Edwin (I hope I didn't miss out anyone). I certainly hope you enjoyed the show.

Lastly, I'd like to thank God for His grace and provision. Thank You for seeing me through this period, for giving me the opportunity and ability to achieve this, and for making this concert one of the most amazing experiences in my life. I could never have done it without You, Lord!

Tags: NUS, Raffles Hall Production, Swingers!, Concert

If you've never wondered what I've been so busy about lately, it's concert. The time of year where everyone gets excited about our hall production is here, and I'm at the middle of it. I've got work to do of course, and this year around, I'm not in cast. I DO miss those days and I sorely want to get them back. My time is over though, so too bad for me.

This year, we're quite ambitious. We'll be having three shows instead of the usual two and we're selling our tickets out fast. One show has already literally sold out. The entire team has put in a lot of effort and I'm really looking forward to a good show. I have high expectations of everyone, not that I want to pressure them, but I really believe they can do it.

So as not to spoil it for others, I'm leaving things at that. Any further information divulged may serve to spoil it for others, so I shall refrain from doing so. Things are picking up for me, I think...

A simple post really. I've been preoccupied with so many things I just can't seem to find the time for much else. Meetings almost daily with a lot of deadlines this coming week is not something that can be taken lightly. I wished I could take a break without having anything hanging over my head and without having SOMETHING to do... Guess it may come only in December. *sigh*

In any case, 4 days into me 'break' and I'm still worked like crazy. I truthfully don't quite get why it's called a 'break'. They should just be honest and call it 'An excuse to give all students a ton of assignments for the fun of it'. I don't particularly mind assignments, but when EVERY lecturer thinks that the 'break' is when NOONE does any studying, and piles us with tons of work, it's not exactly something to look forward to. I could just cry.

Yes, this blog hasn't been getting it's due attention lately, not because I don't want to, but seriously, there's only so much time in a day. If only I could stop time...

On another note, I seem to be having a lot of interest in Linux lately. Don't ask me why, but the concept of not having to work with a Windows machine seems appealing, although I'd say I can't live without the games. The best option then, would be a dual-boot I guess. If you're wondering why I'm considering switching over to Linux, it's largly because I'm seeing a lot of potential and interest in handling a Linux machine, particularly since most servers (I think I'm going to focus on webservers and web-programming) run it. It's also a good thing for future job prospects, at least more than saying "Oh, I only know Windows..." That's like shooting myself in the foot.

Enough! I don't have a lot of time, but suffice to say, I hope to finish this assignment tonight and be free enough to complete the others over the weekend. God help me...

Tags: NUS, mid-term break, Linux, WebProgramming

I admit it, for the past few years, my interest in sports has not exactly been very high. During JC, the occasional basketball was pretty good for me. Add the fact that PE was no playing matter, I guess things weren't all that bad. I went from a fail to silver for my NAPFA and had a record of 10:40 for the 2.4 km run.

That was almost four years ago. Since I stepped into university however, I've never really been very involved with sports. Basketball and soccer sounded good, but far too many people were a lot better than I was. My height didn't make up for my lack of skills. Badminton had a pretty high standard and I was never really into it. Add the fact that in year one, I was quite literally 'banned' from sports activities, I never really blended well with most sports-people.

This year, I somehow got the urge to take a shot at Handball. The training are straineous (based on past experience) and it's a relatively new sport (to most people). The people involved are mostly familiar and I feel comfortable there. So far, I've attended some of their trainings and I think it's beginning to rub on. It's a really physical game, but really fun. It's fast paced and very tiring. I definitely need to work on my stamina.

If you ask me why the sudden interest in handball, I'd credit it to the fact that most of the team are my batchmates (minus some final years). I'm attending training as a year one (fresh after all) and I'm not particularly fit. (Actually, I think my fitness level is really below expectations) I'm a little hesitant as to whether or not to really take up the sport as a hall activity since I'm quite likely to be unable to commit entirely. I will try my best though, so I'm praying for wisdom, strength and the annointing to do it. Also, this sport is one of the 'highlights' with our hall bagging the gold last year. I might not be able to play in the first team this year, but even if I'm put on for a little while, I think it would be something to look forward to. In addition, this sport seems to come 'naturally' to me. I wouldn't know exactly how to describe it, and there are still a lot of things to learn, but I feel that the learning curve is less steep than if I took up say, hockey.

It's sad that this sport isn't receiving as much attention internationally as it should. It's really fun and we all enjoy it. I'm really looking forward to the trainings and the game.

Tags: Handball, Raffles Hall, Sports, Fitness

Just had to share this little clip I saw.

CLICK

It's simply awesome. It's amazing the kind of websites you get with StumbleUpon. Works great with Firefox.

Anyway, in the middle of bazaar and I'm not feeling too well. Caught the flu but recovering so don't worry. Hope everyone else is doing ok too.

Now I have a little time to burn. Concert launch is over and we're in the midst of conducting interviews. So far, things have been fairly good, with most things on schedule and running smoothly. Talent this year is pretty outstanding too, so I'm quite happy about that. This coming week will be hectic though, so I'm praying for positive outcomes.

So far, I've been able to pretty much catch up with my work, so it's not as worrying. I really ened to keep things like that so that I can find time to complete other things. Staying ahead is my motto this semester. I'm really hoping things go well this semester. God willing it will.

I've got bible study in a bit, and I'm looking forward to it. This weekend too is going to be busy, but at least I still have the time to settle a lot of things. This update is thus short and is a summary of what I've experienced so far... Here's to preseverence!

Classes have started and I'm starting to get worried. There's a heavy project module this semester and I'm going to have to work extra hard on a statistics module. I'd have hoped I'd be able to go through this semester pretty ok, but it seems now I need God more than ever. Lord, help me!

Since orientation is over, it's time for concert to go full swing. So far, things have been pretty fine, but there are some things I worry about. Still, it's not as if things are dire, so I wouldn't complain too much. Concert Launch is next week, and we're planning full swing for it. I'm still cracking my head for a good way to film the producers to introduce us. It should be ok by tonight.

I'm going to the bank in a while to get some things done. I'm going to firstly convert my thumbprint based system into a signature system. It saves a lot of trouble. I will also be applying for a debit card; It's free and I'd like to be able to use it online in Singapore Dollars instead of converting Malaysian Ringgit if I use my credit card. I'm also going to settle my iBanking stuff, so I can start using it online. That too should simplify my life.

Inter-Block Games (IBG) have started and it has been quite interesting. Some of the matches have brought out talents which would be good for hall. We have our fair share of injury however, and I hope these people recover fast enough for concert/IHG training. Block 4 has been doing well, winning the finals for soccer (M) and getting into the finals for soccer (F). But don't worry, we're still the greatest!

Things have settled into a kind of slowly getting busy stage. I'm trying to keep ahead as much as possible. Things will go well I think, and I pray God help me do my best this semester.

I've neglected posting since orientation began. It ended just yesterday, so now it's time for me to give a good update.

IMHO, the freshmen this year was a lot better than last year. Just like last year, the freshmen were allocated according to nationality, meaning there was an overwhelming number of Singaporeans and PRCs as compared to other years. The quota for Singaporeans were raised too, probably because they found out that a lot of people staying in halls end up getting attached. It's just SDU at work. A lot of people have yet to move into hall, so there are quite a couple of empty rooms around. Still, freshmen turnout for orientation was much much better. It was shortened too, starting only in the afternoon. The freshmen were less exhausted, so I guess it's a good thing.

The initial part of orientation was standard, with games and other funny events that simply got freshmen to laugh, play and cry together. Block Orientation was strict albeit toned down. I'm not a very big fan of ragging, but to be perfectly honest, there's something about ragging that makes people end up bonding a lot more. All the previous batches, mine included, endured relatively more 'tortuous' block orientations, and turned out more united, fun loving, 'stronger'. Times have changed I gather, most poignantly in attitudes. Freshmen seem to be 'softer', with lower thresholds for anything. They seem to be more rebellious, demanding that everyone give in to their wants. Surprisingly, this applies not only to girls but a lot of guys as well, even those who went through army training. Shouldn't they know by now that things are done a certain way for a reason? I guess most can't see past the bridge of their nose. =/

No, I won't say all of them are like that. No, it's not a complain or a generalisation. It's merely an observed opinion that I have for the past two years. Talking to a number of freshmen, the common response is "They shouldn't have had to do that, or They nothing better to do is it (They referring to seniors) etc..." but they don't realise we went through much worse and still survived. I believe I got the same response from freshmen last year. To be honest, I think it might even have happened to my batch. The key issue is that, whether we like it or not, university students (myself included I believe) are a lot less matured than our fathers when they were our age. I credit that to the comfortable lifestyle we've all had.

Nevertheless, orientation was fun! It was definitely an improvement from last year, and this year, the activities saw a lot more participation. I helped where I could, like in the games, or in float, or for MOAH... It was quite cool! I won't go too much into details because there's just too much to say, but I enjoyed myself, and I hope the freshmen did too.

Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time to write much. Suffice to say, it seems to be a good start to a new academic year, but classes start tomorrow. Let's hope things work out for the best!

I'm going to try this poem thing again.

Creative Designs

Atrocious, Cried he, as he looked at his screen,
Never before such rubbish have I seen!
Try harder please, for your work is pathetic!
Don't take it personally, I'm not trying to be cryptic.

Enlarge that image, clean it up please,
Such basic rules, you ought to know these,
I think it can work, though lots must be done,
Good luck and hang in there, it can be quite fun!

Now if you are stuck, don't worry, helps on the way,
For Google™'s your friend, just use it they say,
Online tutorials, there are millions out there,
Ripe with design knowledge, for all those who care.

Never be fearful, of playing around,
Unless it's a person, that will cause a few frowns,
To design is quite fun, it's quite addictive too,
So start up Photoshop™, if you want to be cool!

I got this little idea from my friend. Let's see just how well my poetic juices flow...

The Jester

Lay he in bed, trying hard to think,
Of life and of love, though hopeless him being,
Noone could grasp, what he felt deep inside,
Even though he had many, of his friends close beside.

Liven up the mood, his duty and calling,
In spite of his circumstance, he never stop trying,
Noone is perfect, but worked hard he did,
Even though failures, trailed him instead.

Stood he in public, and wooed hearts a-many,
Spreading much laughter, in a life so contrary,
Performed hard he did, to the best of his ability,
Lucky for him, he earned quite a bit of money.

At the end of the day, he gathered his due,
Going back to his home, again feeling blue,
Unseen by all people, his face so forlorn
Expecting and wishing, for joy in the morn.

Ever came to a point where you have a decision to make on what to do, or whether or not you should even be doing anything? There are many times when you know that on hindsight, what you did was wrong, or inappropriate, or done with bad taste, or done at the wrong time... How do you tell? We can follow our hearts sure, but very often, we have to follow our heads too. Isn't it true that there are some things that you know if you DID follow your heart, you'd be in big trouble? And I'm not just talking about those morally wrong or criminally wrong things either. If I'd followed my heart, I might end up pissing a lot of people off because doing solely what's in your heart negates using our heads.

I really think decisions should be based on both your heart and your head. For example, when to tell someone off is very important since if you just do it as and when you like, you may just end up losing a friend, making an enemy and possibly generate a lot of other problems along the way. Your head will tell you that although you WANT to do something now, perhaps there's a BETTER way to handle the situation.

However, using both your head and your heart generates one BIG problem, there are now too many variables that sometimes, you don't know which is the decision you should follow. Too many "but what ifs" pop up and you start thinking about all the possible consequences, weighing what you feel against what you think will happen as a result of that. Life would be much easier if we could follow either or, but doing so causes a person to be either totally self centered or extremely unhappy.

I think I'm personally on the "head" side significantly more. True, there are times when I fail to stop and think things through, but even so, when the opportunity arises, I always spend as much time as I can coming up with the 'right' answer. Most of the time, I give up on what my heart wants, and that may be why I may not exactly be the happiest person around, but I do try. I sometimes wish I could just ignore the consequences of whatever it is I do and just go and do what I want. Fulfilling my personal desire may make me a possibly 'happier' person, but I think I might also end up being extremely self centered and ignorant of others. HOw do you balance up the two? Where do you draw the line?

There are times when I look back and a part of me regrets what I did, or what I didn't do. But there are also times when I'm grateful for the same reasons, because they make me who I am today. I learned patience for example, and it is something which I believe makes me a better person. True, I might have had my desire (whatever it was that I was impatient with) fulfilled and could've enjoyed it. After all, it might have been something I've really wanted all along. But by holding back I learned something else; I built my character and gained experience. Isn't that important too?

Sometimes, my heart gets overwhelmed that I just want to go and do something! It's at this time that my head tells me it may not be the right thing. The warring factions cause me to be unsure of what to think or do. Is it definitely flesh vs spirit? If so, how do you tell? The Bible tells us this:

"Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him…" (Psalm 37:5-7a, NIV).

I realised a big flaw in my posts, they always seem to be a mixture of a lot of thoughts instead of one single focussed one. I guess it's because I try to unload all that's on my mind everytime I post and I don't exactly have only one thought at a time...

I remember talking to some people about personalities, about temperaments and how different people react differently to a given situation. Many would've heard of the DISC personality test as well as the temperaments test. It helps us to understand a little about others, but it can also lead to a negative outcome. Some have ended up categorising others and this isn't healthy since a person's personality can and will change.

The last time I took the test, I was classified as an S... a VERY HIGH S person. An S person is generally steady, taking things as they come, seldom unfazed and values very much the relationship instead of the task at hand. Now I think this is pretty true, although of late, I'm beginning to think that my D side has risen a little. Either that, or I seem to be forcing myself to be D to the point it's become instinctive, but inside I'm really very S. D and S are polar opposites. A high D person is demanding, task oriented, dominating and basically wants things done his/her way. These are the people who make good leaders because they are very focussed on the task and has a very high drive to succeed. I believe that perhaps although I was originally extremely high S with almost non-existant D, being pushed into positions where responsibility counts for a lot has made my D side rise significantly.

Of course, there are other personalities too, like I and C. I people are influential, charismatic, talk a lot, funny etc. C people are generally quiet but meticulous people who are sticklers for details. I guess if you look at it from a different perspective, a successful team is one where all four personalities are fully maximised, and each person plays their roles well. We need leaders who are demanding, supportive people who keep the team together, highly talkative and charismatic people to portray results and to motivate others, as well as people to work out all the little details that others miss.

I think personalities apply to relationships too, but I guess it can always be worked out anyway. Perhaps it does not come as a surprise since your personality would affect what you're looking for in another person... although I'm not too sure it's the most important thing...

So let this S sign off by saying that in everything you do, do spare a thought for the people involved... you may not like it, but sometimes the decision that hurts u most can be the right decision.

So it's finally over. World Cup 2006 ended with France getting ousted by Italy at the penalty shootouts. It was a very exciting match I must say, and there was enough action to keep you stuck on the edge of your seat throughout. France converted an early penalty to a goal with Zidane putting the ball just under the crossbar, causing the ball to go into the goal and then bouncing out. It was still a goal though, and the referee called it. Italy equalised in the same half, but the rest of the match was goalless. It wasn't without any tries and spectacular saves though.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't really think both teams deserved to be in the finals. Still, luck does play a huge part in football, and it seemed to be on France's side, with a goodly number of close calls where Italy nearly found the back of France's net. In the end however, they proved tenacious enough to hold on through to the end, and finally winning the cup. I never held Italy in very high regard, not because they didn't play good football. They certainly have great talent and I am still amazed by Canavaro's performance. The problem is that they don't actually seem to play all that fair. I mean, if they were as good as they are, why did they have to resort to play acting, diving and in other words, cheating? It's not like they didn't have the capabilities to win. Their performance when they faced Australia really caused me to lose a great amount of respect for such an otherwise fine team. The fact that the Italian Serie A is being plagued by scandals at this moment don't help either. That's not to say I supported France in the finals though. I guess if I did, it was simply because I didn't really want Italy to win.

Anyway, against my deepest resentments, Italy won. The World Cup was hoisted by Canavaro and it's finally at the end. About time too, I think it's time EVERYONE caught up on sleep.

I'm finally back in hall. Nothing much happening just yet, except I'm tired and I think I need sleep. I think I ought to turn in early tonight... Till next time I have a gripe...

Yes, I haven't been updating as regularly. I do have some updates though, so this should explain a little about what's been happening.

Firstly, I FINALLY settled my bash. It's on the 31st of August at ButterFactory, Clarke Quay. To all Raffles Hall residents, I kindly ask for your support for this event. I know it's on a Thursday and it might be a little difficult for some of you to come, but I can't help it if clubs find it hard to give us a place on Friday/Saturday. To all my friends reading this, I'm booking you early so you BETTER come.

I went to recce the various clubs a few days ago. It wasn't an all out, 'visit as many clubs as possible' session, but we did have quite a few in mind. We headed for those only and found out that some of them were pretty nice, while others were downright unusable. I must admit, I really wanted a weekend for the bash, but the cheapest any decent club offered was $10 per head, which is a real rip off. Being a relative freshie to the clubbing scene, I'm grateful to have some help from others regarding this matter. I think my team did quite well considering none of us were really much of the clubbing type. I think the recce outing was quite fun! We had Hainanese Chicken Rice at Chinatown which turned out to be really good and cheap. I want to go again sometime...

Cell was great too. We'll be having our barbecue tomorrow, so I hope to enjoy myself. We will be having prawns too, which reminds me of my council chalet. *Reminisces*

Further good news would be that I finally start my 'work' in July. Hopefully I manage to learn something in the process too. I'll also be going back to KL for about a week next Tuesday. Make your calenders free for me thank you.

I've been checking out PHP again, and although it can be a headache, I'm just glad there's enough open source software out there that I can simply use. I really need to sit down and actually read things up without getting too discracted with other things.

I think things will turn interesting the coming weeks. Thank goodness He's been around to help me out so much. I'm really thankful and grateful to Him...

On a side note, Germany won Argentina, and I was right: They DID go to penalties...

Tags: Bash, Raffles Hall, Butter Factory, Clubbing, PHP

So to fill up some of the free time I have, I decided to polish up a bit of my photoshop skills. After playing around quite a bit, this is a little something I came up with.

 

I've been contemplating this for quite some time and I think I've finally decided that I WILL make a change. The only issue is, WHEN do I do it?

At this point I don't feel it's quite right to spend that kind of money, but it isn't really all that much if you think about it. It's roughly equivalent to a couple of good meals which I can forego for a few days. However, I feel really guilty because it's not my own money. I'll just wait a while and do all the necessary preparation so that the transition will be as smooth when the time eventually comes.

I'm thinking of names, and so far I came up with one really cool one which I will not reveal just yet. I've checked and it's available, so that's what I'll call it. It will contain far more than what I have now, but how much more really depends. I don't want to end up expanding in breadth but failing in depth, so expect a small expansion for a start.

Concert is still progressing well. Having my next meeting on Sunday and hopefully most people will be back. There are some things we need to work out so it's good that everyone is back to help out. Hopefully we can all work together and have fun doing it!

Parents will be off on a 2 week cruise and I'm planning to head back to KL for a couple of days (to take care of the place and the car etc). Going on a cruise is really fun, if you go with the right people. I'm hoping to make a cruise with friends instead of just family members this time. Planning for a cruise on my own with my cell and if it falls through, I'll be taking a few days off mid-July. Will most probably be heading to Phuket and Langkawi where there are lots of beaches. Look forward to more updates then!

Tags: Concert, Raffles Hall, Production, Cruise, Star Cruises, Phuket, Langkawi

Concert work has been progressing, and I'm pretty happy the way things are going. We could probably do a lot more, but I shouldn't ask too much from my members. They're doing a great job as it is and I'm quite impressed by what's been done so far. Really makes things easy for me.

Bash might be a headache. As of now, we are unsure as to what or how we want to proceed. We can choose to expand, or fall on our backup plan. In any case, things should finalise by the end of next week, and then we can start working on the concrete plans so that we can make it a great, enjoyable bash.

 

 

A beauty ain't she? She certainly packs great features, with a 2.0 megapixel camera, 3G capabilities, bluetooth, quadband, MP3 player and superb TFT display. I didn't really think about picking her at first, but the fact that all these features came at a more affordable (read cheaper) price than the one I originally wanted, there was no reason for me not to take it!

It synchronises well with my PC, being able to communicate with Outlook and iTunes. I can transfer data to it too with a 512 MB card extra. The amazing thing is that it charges from a USB port, implying that I can use my PC to do the job saving a socket for other uses.

My trusty 8310 was a pretty good phone. I still like it but it was giving me problems... it was also a pretty good time to get a new plan since the student plan gave an extra 500 SMS a month and I get to call 3 numbers for free, all at HALF of what I've been paying. That's a good deal to me.

I've been playing around with my trusty V3x and although it may not be perfect, it still is a good phone. I need a little adjusting to the interface though, since I'm so accustomed to my old one. I managed to send a couple of wrong SMSes too while figuring how to do it right. I hope to get it down pat soon so I can start replying SMSes at my usual speed again.

Apart from that, it's something I'm truly happy about. Now I need to get protection for it because I don't think I'd like to see ANY scars on her body.

Tags: Motorola, V3x, Gadget, Tech, 3G, Bluetooth

How can I not write anything about this season? I'm not bonkers over it, but it sure is nice to go hangout with people and watch as the game unfolds. It also makes for good conversational material.

Opening match with Germany and Costa Rica was most certainly one of the interesting matches to watch. Germany won with a score of 4-2, with the first three goals of the six scored six minutes apart from the starting whistle. The new FIFA ball is obviously a whole lot lighter, because Germany was taking pot shots at the Costa Rica goal from outside the penalty area, resulting in one goal in the second half that was really amazing. It's probably not the first time this has been done, but the sheer number of attempts indicate that it's either a lot easier to do it now, or they simply took for granted that the Costa Rican defence was poor.

Unfortunately, I didn't catch England's game, which from what I hear wasn't a big loss anyway. They won 1-0, but it was an own goal, so in essence none of England's strikers have any goal to their credit yet. Perhaps they need to buck up a little.

The next match I watched was Netherlands vs Serbia and Montenegro. Exciting match really, with a lot of good plays, but I think it would've been nicer if we were rewarded with more goals. Still, I guess Holland deserved the win.

I just missed the match between Australia and Japan, but the win went to Australia with a score of 3-1. I didn't watch it though, so there's not really much to say.

All the scores aside, here's a little something to share. It's been circulating around, but perhaps not many have seen it. Don't worry, I don't think it really applies to ALL men.

World Cup rules for women

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in general).

These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...

LIST OF RULES

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this... why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards

Tags: World Cup, Germany, Football, Soccer, 2006, FIFA

In case you've been wondering what I've been up to, here's a little update on what has been happening. Last weekend was really tiring since it was EMERGE 2006 weekend. It was absolutely amazing! The thing I got most out of it was on Friday night when Pastor Kong talked about spiritual hunger, and I caught that, even though it was not the first time I heard about it. I decided enough is enough and drew the line, making myself DECIDE to be more fervent for Him. My prayer life and quiet time has never been better. I've been spending so much time with Him I can feel Him with me throughout the whole week, and I just love it!

I really believe I caught something during the conference. It was, to me, a life changing experience. The events were great, the sermon was powerful, but ultimately, it was the presence that made all the difference. I can't wait for cell later.

Since I came back from the conference, I've been concentrating on the things I need to do, to continue to excel in the place that I'm placed in and to do well for Him. I've been working on my hall production and it is coming along great. I pray that as I gear up and put in my best, and commit the entire event to Him, I ask that His hand will be with me. I'm trusting Him for it, and I believe that He will deliver. I know He has even greater plans, for "eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for those who love Him."

I've made resolutions to achieve even greater excellence. I've learned that although inner beauty is important, it doesn't mean we neglect totally outer beauty. It has to be balanced, and come hand in hand. So I'm going to try my utmost best to dress better, present myself better, and mum and dad may not be too happy, but I'll probably start shopping a fair bit too. I won't change overnight, but step by step, I intend not to be a sloppy person when it comes to dressing anymore.

I went down to expo to help with shifting on Tuesday because the hall needed to be relocated for service. It was quite educational to help out the sound and tech crew as they play with a lot of cool stuff. I learned about the LED board, about power sockets and portable generators for huge halls like in expo. I met some new people and it was tiring yet enjoyable. I was glad to be given the privilege to serve in that area. Everyone is so dedicated that I feel a little ashamed I'm not giving that much.

My phone died a couple of times these few days, which sort of indicate to me that a change is in order. The good news is, my contract can be renewed and there's a new plan that costs about HALF of what I pay now with BETTER perks. I'm going to change my phone, I just need to find the time to go and do it! Thank you God for blessing me so much!

I'm back on my feet. I'm feeling great about life. Mum had her birthday yesterday, and although I wasn't there to celebrate with her, I know she had a great time. Dad bought her flowers... something she says is one of the happiest things that happened to her. I love them both!

Well, planning for concert means a lot of things to do. I unfortunately don't have a job yet as the honours year student I'm supposed to work with isn't back in Singapore yet. I'm thinking of finding another job, but it can't be long term either. Guess I'll just have to pray for wisdom on what to do.

See? There are so many things happening. I'm meeting some people from a startup company on Wednesday to discuss some bash plans. It may help us generate more income, but that'll have to be negotiated. Things are progressing, and I'm giving it my all to play my part!

Tags: EMERGE, Spiritual, Hunger, Singapore, Asian, Conference, Excellence, Bash

I'd always though Malaysia was a free country, even if not at the same level as Western nations. THIS however, made me start thinking it's probably not quite true. Hugging and kissing is now considered "disorderly behaviour" as it is not consistent with "Asian morals". While I could understand if this were so in more conservative places, this took place in Kuala Lumpur, supposedly the most educated and thus liberal of all states in Malaysia.

I personally think it's balderdash. I'm more inclined to believe that they were charged solely because they refused to fill the pockets of enforcement officers with a bribe. It's a first that people get charged and possibly face a RM2000 fine as well as a jail term simply for kissing and hugging in public. It's no wonder every other nation can't help but consider our laws draconian. The chief justice's defence of the mayor's decision was solely a hyberbole of the situation which did not relate to the case at all. His claim is simply that by allowing kissing and hugging in public, we are allowing anarchy. (Quoted from the article, "So, they should be given freedom to live as they like? The constitution allows all citizens to do that (hugging and kissing) even by the roadside, in a public park?") Hello? It's not anarchy to kiss and hug in public. If I went be the same logic, I think it's more logical to charge every single smoker who takes a puff in public. It's a health hazard to every other person, and since when was smoking "consistent with Asian morals"? It would save the government millions of ringgit on health care and anti-smoking campaigns. Did I mention also that just about everything we see on television is "not consistent with Asian morals"? Charge everyone for watching television please...

Who can say just when something is considered "disorderly" and "consistent with Asian values"? Simply put, "disorderly behaviour" can be defined as "anything the mayor deems he/she does not like". I don't like you laughing out loud like that, it's "disorderly behaviour". We as Asians should not laugh at people openly. You're fined RM2000, or you can pay me so I can close an eye. I saw you show the finger. That's "disorderly behaviour". I fine you RM2000. I heard you say the 'f' word. RM2000 fine for disorderly behaviour... pathetic...

I'm just exaggerating, but the fact that such an incident occurs just goes to show that there might be a problem with our justice system. It doesn't take a genius to know that we have taken a step back from progressing towards a mature, considerate and open society.

I fear the day where every single citizen has to have a 2 meter distance between every other person in public. I fear the day where even married couples cannot go out together because anything they might do together constitutes a violation of "Asian morals". Most of all, I fear the day where every member in society doesn't even CARE when things like this happen.

Tags: Public, Disorderly, Behaviour, Malaysia, Asian, Morals, Corruption, Fundamentalist

Beauty is a trait that is considered superficial, yet extremely important and sought after. It's something that everyone wants to be, but sometimes can lead to a negative downside. However, I truly believe that beauty, or at least the superficial, 'on the surface' kind, is very much in the eyes of the beholder. To bring this into perspective, allow me to be shallow for this once and talk about what guys look at when they see a girl.

Interestingly, when I asked some of my friends what is the first thing they notice in a girl, based solely on looks, the answer varies from the usual to the extremely weird (at least it's weird to me). For example, one of the things about a girl that a friend notices on first impression, is the legs. To me, that's a little weird. But that may be because to me, the most important physical aspect of a girl is her face. Even so, a girl I think is pretty may not be as pretty to someone else, because I guess all guys have different tastes, even when it's just comparing the face. Some prefer those who look 'cute', with big eyes and rounded features. Others like the sizzling hot ones who have sharp attractive features. Then there're those who look for the um... 'chest magnitude' or the 'rear end'... nothing wrong with that I guess, but... nevermind.

Since I look at the face, I'd like to discuss a little bit more about that part here. I think even if you choose to look at the face, one can have different ideas of 'attractiveness' (or have I mentioned that already?). To be more specific, I think the thing about a girl's face that attracts me the most, are the eyes. Don't ask me why, they just do. I've seen some girls who have really beautiful eyes, and I find them pretty attractive, but have most of my friends feel otherwise. Likewise, I've had experiences where my friends claim just how 'beautiful' this particular girl is, only to find that she's merely 'so-so' to me.

Have you ever heard the phrase that goes "There aren't any ugly girls, only poor or lazy ones."? Perhaps that phrase isn't entirely false. Make up does wonders... and girls won't pass up a chance to look good. There're a few good examples where a girl's before and after photo clearly shows how plastic surgery + make up can turn a truly 'hopeless' case into one worthy of a beauty magazine front cover. So make up can make you look much better. The PROBLEM arises when some people just don't know HOW to put on make up. Most end up putting on too much, resulting in what I dub "ICI", after the infamous ICI paint. They apply so much foundation, or whatever it is they put on their face, that I think they gain a couple of pounds after putting the make up on. I admit that it may not be an easy task, and I am NOT against make up. I just know that make up can make a girl look REALLY good, and it can make a girl look really bad too.

Anyway, before I get beaten up, let me just state that the value of a girl is most definitely NOT solely in her looks. This post merely states an observatory phenomenon which is, granted, superficial. I do not judge a girl solely by her looks, since I understand also that not all pretty girls have good character. Beauty, I believe, creates only the first impression which may or may not trigger an interest to know a girl's character... at least that's what it is to me.

So, to conclude, this little attachment is an example of a girl I might consider really attractive. Not everyone will feel the same way I suppose, but that's just because I have different taste.