Personal Blather!

The 14th of February has never been a very happy day for me. As far back as I can remember it was always a time where a particular 'missing' part in my life becomes much more pronounced. I'm not saying that this is always bad, or that being single means I'm imperfect or 'unwhole', but life could be better no? I received a revelation lately, about how in the Bible, there were many women who were barren, and they cried out because of their barrenness. It didn't mean that it was wrong to 'want' something more and better in life. Isn't God enough? Isn't just having Him in your life sufficient? Yes, but He has meant for us to be joined and not alone, and to fully experience the promises He has for us, that means finding that someone too.

Going back to the main issue, the 14th of February isn't particularly the happiest day of my life. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I weren't reminded of how there have been many times where it was just a day of futile, fruitless effort, marked only by impending failure. Guess I'm not as lucky as some people. This isn't a self-bashing session, and no, I'm not feeling totally down and out. I sometimes just wonder whether these efforts amount to anything... Food for thought...

This year, the 14th of February is more than just a sad, lonely day. It will mark the day I lost my only grandfather as well. It's not easy even though I'm not extremely close to him. I feel really bad, because I didn't get to see him before he went. I'd have liked to have seen him once before he went... He wasn't perfect, but he was a good man. I hope that everyone will be able to get through this, particularly my mother. So much for a 'happy', 'prosperous' Chinese New Year...

I don't really have the mood to write lots and lots about this, but suffice to say, I don't see a particularly happy 14th Feb for me anytime soon...