Personal Blather!

Ever came to a point where you have a decision to make on what to do, or whether or not you should even be doing anything? There are many times when you know that on hindsight, what you did was wrong, or inappropriate, or done with bad taste, or done at the wrong time... How do you tell? We can follow our hearts sure, but very often, we have to follow our heads too. Isn't it true that there are some things that you know if you DID follow your heart, you'd be in big trouble? And I'm not just talking about those morally wrong or criminally wrong things either. If I'd followed my heart, I might end up pissing a lot of people off because doing solely what's in your heart negates using our heads.

I really think decisions should be based on both your heart and your head. For example, when to tell someone off is very important since if you just do it as and when you like, you may just end up losing a friend, making an enemy and possibly generate a lot of other problems along the way. Your head will tell you that although you WANT to do something now, perhaps there's a BETTER way to handle the situation.

However, using both your head and your heart generates one BIG problem, there are now too many variables that sometimes, you don't know which is the decision you should follow. Too many "but what ifs" pop up and you start thinking about all the possible consequences, weighing what you feel against what you think will happen as a result of that. Life would be much easier if we could follow either or, but doing so causes a person to be either totally self centered or extremely unhappy.

I think I'm personally on the "head" side significantly more. True, there are times when I fail to stop and think things through, but even so, when the opportunity arises, I always spend as much time as I can coming up with the 'right' answer. Most of the time, I give up on what my heart wants, and that may be why I may not exactly be the happiest person around, but I do try. I sometimes wish I could just ignore the consequences of whatever it is I do and just go and do what I want. Fulfilling my personal desire may make me a possibly 'happier' person, but I think I might also end up being extremely self centered and ignorant of others. HOw do you balance up the two? Where do you draw the line?

There are times when I look back and a part of me regrets what I did, or what I didn't do. But there are also times when I'm grateful for the same reasons, because they make me who I am today. I learned patience for example, and it is something which I believe makes me a better person. True, I might have had my desire (whatever it was that I was impatient with) fulfilled and could've enjoyed it. After all, it might have been something I've really wanted all along. But by holding back I learned something else; I built my character and gained experience. Isn't that important too?

Sometimes, my heart gets overwhelmed that I just want to go and do something! It's at this time that my head tells me it may not be the right thing. The warring factions cause me to be unsure of what to think or do. Is it definitely flesh vs spirit? If so, how do you tell? The Bible tells us this:

"Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him…" (Psalm 37:5-7a, NIV).

Now, what if that very thing you have to decide upon is actually what HE is giving you to fulfill this scripture? Would you then withold your hand from taking it? If God gives you the desires of your heart, or rather, WHEN He does, how do you know it's definitely from Him? I was taught that a it takes two to tango, both God and you working hand in hand. He does His part, you have to do yours. I did a little search and found this: CLICK I agree with it all, but I raise the question that when God actually gives you that desire, how do you know it's yours for the taking?

I guess the answer lies in your relationship with Him. I try to spend as much time as I can in His presence, and it's great. I also don't think hearing from God comes just like that. We have to keep trying, doing what we hear even if we do not understand and in that process, open our ears even bigger to hear more. Lord, I trust in You.