Purveyor of ponderings

Sunday, December 03, 2006

So what do you do when you have a few days of nothing to do? I personally don't know. As usual, you always seem to have a lot of things to do before your exams end, but once they do, you find that nothing interests you enough to inspire you to do them. Perhaps it's because we're so tired that we can't seem to find the strength to do it, but honestly, it's probably just a natural thing that happens. I learned fairly early that one ought to list down everything that needs to be done BEFORE the end of the exams, all the things you want to do, the movies you want to catch, the errands you've been putting off, the hobby you decided to stop pursuing... Alas my list is short and I still haven't started on it...

A celebration (post exams in this case) would only truly be a celebration if it was not alone. Let's face it, even though my exams are over, if there's noone to share in my joy, then there's basically no difference is there? It's times like this that you wished you had someone standing by you... alas, I don't seem to have that privilege. Lamentations as usual... but of course, that does not mean I am desperate for one...

Recently, Pastor Phil Pringle's sermon really hit the mark. It seems a lot of us (well, I'll speak for at LEAST myself), have deviated from focusing on Jesus, and not on anything else. It's so easy to say "I'm doing this for You, Lord" or "Lord, I pray for A, B, C, D, E and F. Thanks, Lord. Bye." I was convicted because although I didn't just pray for blessings in my life, I didn't really try to seek Him. I was being selfish in that sense. Sure, I could justify and say I was praying for someone else, for my family, for world peace even, but really, isn't God what it's all about? The one phrase that comes back into my mind at this point:

How very apt indeed. Again we are reminded of Mary and Martha. Noone is saying that serving is bad, or that doing things for God is wrong, but what is the attitude in which we do them? Is it birthed from our worship, or is it birthed from our desire to prove something? Perhaps it might even be to gain acceptence? Pride? God wants us to put our relationship with Him first and foremost, and I think very often we are guilty of failing in this area.

So I repent. I don't wish to continue sidelining Him. I want to put Him FIRST, and have only Him on the throne of my heart. I want to seek Him above all, to spend time with Him, to get closer to Him... It's not easy I know, and wouldn't be surprised if a little down the road, I realise AGAIN that I've maligned Him... BUT, at least for now, I'm going to try to make this right.

Matt 6:33 tells us that if we seek Him first and His righteousness (which means to also constantly want to be more like Him) then everything else will work out. The revelation I got from this verse is simply this: Seeking Him comes first, but seek not just a relationship with Him alone, but also to pursue Christlikeness... to be more and more like Him each day. This is an important criteria if we want to be blessed. Most of the time, we get the first part intuitively, and it has also been drilled into us. Sure, we have to seek Him first, to worship Him, to honour Him, but we must also not forget the second part, which is to also seek after His righteousness. I am grateful for this revelation, because I believe sometimes I focus too much on this area; trying always to be more like Jesus, but not necessarily trying to be close TO Him. They ought to go hand in hand.

Alas, it is late, and I have to wake up early tomorrow. Undoubtedly my tiredness has not gone away since I didn't exactly sleep all that much after my exams. I pray for strength tomorrow to run with more vigour. Signing off...

Posted by Gerald at 12/03/2006 02:35:00 AM