Personal Blather!

I remembered something today which struck me as very real. Life isn't mostly about the exciting things that happen, it's very much in the mundane, ordinary, boring things that we HAVE to go through (even if it's mechanically) every single day of our lives. I like to look forward to exciting days, like when I had an outing planned, or a celebration, or a date... something that makes me get up and out of the usual cycle of things and go and do something different. It gives me a lot of drive and motivation to go through the day well, and even if it doesn't, I can always tell myself that things are going to be great. But they don't come often, and sometimes, like now, they seem non-existant...

I know that we can't live life going from one event to another, from one party to another, from one meeting to another... it's not just ABOUT all that, although it's important too. There are things like sitting down and reading (could be studying), preparation, research, work, practice, all the behind the scenes work for those 'events'. I know that events are important, which is why I involve myself in them, but life isn't just about events... but I won't go too much into it since I already did. I guess I'm just trying to vent my frustrations and remind myself that doing these mundane, everyday things are part of life, that it builds character (which I pray and I pray is happening), that it is temporary and those exciting things will come again.

In the meantime, it's all a matter of perseverence, to continue working hard at getting things done the best way I know how. I've been doing my work as much as I can, but I'm still disappointed in myself for not successfully doing more. I feel down, burdened, in a valley... and some of you know that things in my life are falling apart everywhere I turn. I'm not going to blame anyone, or start going into depression now, I'm just stating a fact; that's the way my life is right now. I'm working my way out of it, but it takes some time... especially since I think this is the lowest period I've ever experienced. I look to God, and even if I may not see my breakthrough just yet, I continue to trust in Him.

These few days have been really hectic... Been 'working' from the time I wake up almost to the time I sleep. Of course, it's not just school work, I continue to pray for strength. Been needing more sleep than ever, and I probably won't get it this weekend either. Tomorrow is pretty light though, so I pray that at least I can get SOME rest then...

Still considering future prospects in hall, what direction I want to go... Lord please reveal to me Your will...