Personal Blather!

Here's a short post...

Your IQ Is 120

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

Motivation, discipline, drive... these are the things currently a little lacking in me. Thank God I have great project group members who help me out... although I feel kind of bad because I don't seem to be doing all that much. I'd like to carry my share of the workload thank you... and sorry if it seems that I'm not doing anything...

Today is halloween celebration... not like we celebrate, but I have a performance and I hope it turns out ok. Doing all my tutorials for this week too... so I think I'm pretty preoccupied...

No time for long posts... Will work on my tutorials now...

Today, I thought through some things and I guess I've come to a very seemingly obvious conclusion... although it's quite a revelation to me.

What's the difference between serving and working? One very basic thing... serving is giving your all to further the cause of another without hope of reward, payment or acknowledgement... whereas working is doing it FOR THE SAKE of the reward. How does this affect me? Simply that if I were to do something for another person, I wouldn't be genuinely serving if I was expecting something in return... acknowledgement, or maybe recognition.

Something happened in concert this year... I wasn't in the Concert Central Committee, but I still put in a lot of effort (I think). I helped write the script (edit and whatnot), handle their web stuff, did some publicity stints and finally went to cast, helping the directing (minor role there) and dancing. I enjoyed every moment of it, but I think I felt a little left out because as a senior, you don't really get the same kind of recognition as a first year... neither do people acknowledge you as a CCC member. So in a sense, it was a bit weird. I didn't quite fit in either group...

I appreciate all the encouragement and thanks that everyone has given to me. Really... there's no need to go buy anything after you read this... I don't expect you to do that. In fact, after today, I have a whole different perspective on this area. I'd like to think of me as having done my part, serving a greater cause (Concert) and done it well, without doing it for the recognition, position or fame... And receiving any of the 'rewards' COULD undermine that. Not saying that you should all stop giving gifts, but I don't want to come to a point where I start doing a lot of things so that people will go shower me with thanks and praise.

I think what I really want to say is that I shouldn't expect anything when I'm serving... not thanks, not gifts, not acknowledgements, NOTHING. It'll be great if I got them, and I thank you for it, but I shouldn't go around feeling unappreciated and moody if I didn't... (At this point, all of you'll probably point your finger at me and say... oooh... you wanted it!) I admit, I did feel left out... but hey, I feel much much better now because I changed my mindset. I'm glad and I'm glad and I'm glad I had the opportunity to serve, and it turned out great! So that is reward enough for me... regardless of whether or not I received anything.

So the conclusion? Serving has taken on a new dimension for me, and that includes in church... or rather, I should say ESPECIALLY in church. I think I really understand what my CGL has been talking about... but God is good... for His joy fills our hearts even as we serve, and we are appreciated by Him. That is probably more fulfilling than any reward anyone can give!

Think I've said enough. Tiring day today, but I'm happy I can realise this myself. Part of the reason of posting is so that I can remind myself constantly that this is the mindset I should have... and I pray and I pray and I pray that God help me keep it!

Came back from Bible Study today wondering if there are any demons in my life... I certainly would want to deal with them if there are any... But I believe in due time God will help me deal with them...

Work progressing not as well as expected. I'm trying to catchup really, but it's hard when you have to spend more time understanding the topic... I feel like just dropping everything and going to sleep... for maybe a week...

It's funny how just when you think everything's going fine, something just pops up to remind you that it never is... I thought after concert I'd find the time to catchup on work, but then some other things come up and suddenly I'm swamped with so many other things... tutorials among them... Mood swings are not uncommon, but I still think it's always a choice to smile... God knows I should more...

I'm not gonna waste too much time posting... there are tutorials beckoning and I have to get back to them... may just take a long LONG break from posting...

Thus beginneth the slow process of getting back into the usual mode of life. Concert was great, but the initial parting leaves a certain void which temporarily leaves members in a daze... I thought that wouldn't happen this year... wishful thinking...

I started catching up on tutorials... There's quite a bit to be done, but I think I'll manage. This week is still going to be hectic, with so many events coming along. There's a computer games competition which I have to help out in, inventory checks, tutorials, assignments, labs etc. Priority should obviously be for studies, but those are a little more flexible in terms of time... so it should be ok with a bit of juggling...

My mind isn't at it's peak just now... there's just too many things that I have to think of and I don't think I have the ability to make the most coherent decisions just now... Probably not the most coherent posts either...

It's OVER! Concert is finally over and everyone can settle down. It was a great show really, I'm so proud of you! You guys really rose to the occassion, and I'm glad I'm glad I'm glad that I became a part of this concert!

Thank you sets, the bar was amazing! The lights were amazing! You guys did a tremendous job!

Thank you costumes! The Catwalk dresses were dazzling and so were all the rest.

Thank you tech for being super alert, reliable and on queue everytime! All those errors in earlier runs are worth it... Because you guys did a great job at the end!

Thank you SMs for also being alert and doing a great job in managing stage... It worked out really fine!

Thank you ticketing for selling so many tickets and making more and more people unable to come... It was great!

Thank you marketing for raising so much that we could do so many things (Like getting that afro) and working your butts of. My hats off to ya!

Thank you music for creating such wonderful masterpieces I can't seem to forget them. You guys did the hall proud!

Thank you publicity, for putting up with my absence and helping make wonderful material which I will cherish always...

And last but not least, thank you so much cast! To be honest, I was quite disappointed when I first came down and saw how you were progressing... I saw the daunting task of turning all of you to be stage-worthy. I really felt that you guys were at an all time low during Comm Hall week... But, we managed to pull through. You guys are amazing no matter what people say. Heck, even the Thursday full run was not up to scratch, but whithin just one day, you became performance worthy (You guys work great if there's a crowd). And Saturday was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! I know and I know and I know all you guys feel the magic of concert and I really hope that you keep it with you as something you will always remember and cherish!

But all good things come to an end... Do remember to catch up on studies guys... And make sure you guys get rest... and I mean it!

Today's run was absolutely GREAT. With the exception of a few errors, I think we managed to pull off a good show. There was an error on Catwalk, but thank goodness everyone pulled together and it didn't show that there was any... ^_^ I bet the audience didn't know there was a MAJOR error there... which is good...

Cast was astonishing today. You guys really proved that you can do it, and that our faith in you was well placed. I really think you guys (and gals) are super talented, and tomorrow will be the day you guys really put in your best. It's only one more day, and sadly, it will be the LAST CHANCE to experience this concert... make it a good one!

I'm on a high, but tomorrow will be even better... I believe we can do it perfectly, everyone of us! So put in your best and run for it!

Long day today. Tomorrow is THE day, and I'm a little nervous... not because I can't stand to be on stage, it's just that I'm a little worried that I didn't practice enough. Somehow, I seem to be unable to remember everything... Praying that I will...

Today's run wasn't the most encouraging to be truthful. Performance is TOMORROW (Today considering it's past 12), but we're still missing some blockings and people are still breaking out of character. I guess a lot of people are really enjoying the show, so much so that they break character easily... Guys, I know you like to enjoy concert, but please, don't laugh if you break character... don't laugh when something funny happens, unless you're supposed to laugh... It matters because if you break it won't become funny anymore... it'll just be another moment of poor acting... Stopping yourself from breaking character is all psychological... You need to discipline yourselves to do it. You got very nice directors who seldom scold, scream and shout at you, but don't step all over them... they need you to be disciplined on and off stage... like keeping quiet, like not breaking character, like being where you should be when you should be... it ALL counts!

Bad news, I LOST MY LEATHER SHOES!!! ARGH!!! I'm so disappointed in myself... Misplaced it somewhere during comm hall runs and now I can't find it... I'll need to find another for tomorrow... and a few other bits and pieces of costumes... like a huge wig... and I mean REALLY HUGE wig... Plus socks, and a black shirt...

Also, I realised something today... and please, I AM NOT GAY... ^_^ I think I look pretty good in pink. Or at least I think I do when I'm in my costume. Hope everything turns out great tomorrow...

It's been another hectic day... Unfortunately didn't get much blocking done. I don't really know if this is bad or how bad it is, but it's not exactly progressing very well... Hopefully things will shape up in time...

Took a break from cast for BS today. It was another lesson on healing. Brother Jimmy did a pretty good job on it... Shared a bit with Jamie too, I think it was pretty good that we managed to talk over some things. Guess we all mature in time, and thank God I believe the both of us have over the past year or so.

Concert will be over soon. I don't really want it to... but all good things must end, and i'll miss this one. These few days were nostalgic (Poppy anyone?) and I must say, I understand a lot more than when I was in concert last year. It's the last mile, so I hope everyone just enjoys it and come out feeling they've done a great job.

I've been up since about 4.50 am this morning. I couldn't sleep. I don't know why I have to contend with things like this... Life is tough enough as it is. What was I expecting? I don't know... Maybe I was hunting for something to look forward to too much...

Lord, I may not feel at my peak, but I will praise You even when I feel down, especially when I feel down, because it is the best time to praise. I don't know what else to do. I can't think straight...

I need to buck up though. Concert is coming... Deadlines are arriving, work is piling up... I need to forget everything and concentrate on getting through this period. By God's grace, I'll make it out in one piece.

Sermon on Sunday was awesome... it encouraged me to keep running and to focus on the more important things and leave the rest to God.

I don't know what else to post... maybe something more coherent when I'm thinking straight...

Concert is coming up very soon. Everyone's busy polishing last minute details. Comm hall runs started off on a down, but it picked up yesterday when everyone started working together cohesively. Energy was up and Li Ling gave us a very clear picture of what it means to have high energy. It was really important that everyone in cast really put in their 100% and the results are starting to show. It's not too late guys, so don't worry too much... you're getting there, so keep at it for another week. That's all you people have... and then you'd wish it wasn't over... Trust me.

The hall server has been doing pretty well lately. Forums have toned down a little, but there are a lot of lurkers around. Also, We managed finally to implement a little feature called php on our site, which will make updating a whole lot easier. I'm just waiting for some JCRC (Rubba probably) to come online so I can give him the details. Hopefully then the whining in the forums about 'lack of updates' will cease somewhat. Not that I don't appreciate the feedback, but if all people can post is 'WHY NOT UPDATES ONE???!!!1111' and don't tell me what you mean by updates I frankly couldn't care less. Yes, the hall main page is important, and updates are important, but I have no direct way of obtaining information on ALL the upcoming events. So please, if you guys want an update on the main page about an event, tell me WHAT INFORMATION YOU WANT ON THE MAIN PAGE. Maybe then I can help you guys out.

Studies are OK I guess, lagging a little bit, but I'm trying to catch up again (Tutorials) in the midst of concert. Test results were satisfactory so far. Believing God for the rest.

Today is Cell Group day! YAY! It's been a 'low' week, a lot of people feeling the stress and pressure of concert. I thank God I was given the opportunity to be an encouragement to some of them. I'm looking forward to getting refreshed later, so thank you God!

Gundam Seed Destiny ended it's run I think at episode 50. The ending was fine I guess, but it feels rushed... so unless I'm mistaken and there's at least one more episode to wrap things up, I'm a little disappointed.

... I was approached by someone asking if I was interested in doing modelling. o.O The ironic thing is that it's concert period and our production is about modelling. I don't understand exactly why they decided to approach me... I don't think I look like I can model anything... maybe if I worked out more... but I don't. *oops* I told them no, but they insisted on my number. Delusions of grandeur maybe, but I acquiesced. I got a call and I told them to contact me another time... I'm not particularly free these few weeks... Heard that some of these are scams asking you to pay them or something, so I'm probably going to just tell them NO. I don't think being a pretty boy to market something is something I wanna do anyway.

The number of people who visit have dwindled lately. Probably because I stopped updating more regularly. Sorry guys, but I DO have a lot of other things to do, unless you want one sentence updates... I rather save up and unload in a huge 'essay' though. Till next time...