Personal Blather!

PRAISE THE LORD!

I've got a good testimony to share! I got my scholarship!!! ^_^ Yes, I'm happy! I'm also grateful for the many blessings that God has given to me. Truly, God will provide for those who love Him. God is truly good. I really really believe in Matthew 6:33!

There is one drawback however. This means that I'm going to be under pressure again. At the very least, I think I can save my parents some money... Hopefully by God's grace, I can make it!

Enough about the scholarship. I'm really worked hard these few days, but I certainly feel a lot better. Personally I prefer comm hall runs compared to normal practice, but it's really taxing for everyone else. The feeling's different, and I think I perform better. In any case, it's really fun, albeit tiring and there is that occasional screams from our directors/producers... I suppose in some cases it's warranted, but I get the feeling the rest of the cast is very pressured. I guess we all need encouragement!

And yes, more on human relations, I realise that sometimes words are so important... more important than the motivation behind them in fact. Saying 'Come on, put in more effort guys!' with the same intention as 'Come on, let's all do this together!' can go down wrong for some people. More complications I guess... and honestly I personally don't mind either, but then again I'm not everyone. I need to constantly remind myself to be more tactful... and that's not easy considering I haven't tried it before. Please, give me some time to work on it and encourage me a little... remind me if any of you have to and please, be patient with me.

Ok, concert coming soon. Have to send my deed Thailand, but I think I'll wait for the scholarship one too so that I can send both together. I don't have a lot of time to do a lot of things, but I'm doing my best. Also, I just finished my report for my Crime Fiction module. In addition, there's a test for my Einstein module coming up. I'll go study for it in a bit. Life is looking up in some areas. I think I'll hold on to them, at least for now!

I'm pretty excited. I think I finally got the answer to my previous post. Here's where I got it from.

2 Tim 2:14-26

The two main points which stood out for me was this:
1) 'But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.' (v23) In the NIV version it says, 'Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. ' I suppose this one really hit home hard. This basically means that my like for being argumentative isn't really something biblical. God help me to change that! I'll try, to overcome it, but again, I don't think it'll come just like that overnight. Support from everyone could help too.

2) 'And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to knowledge of truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.' (v24-26) Now in this verse(s), the main point which stood out to me is v25. Back to my previous post, the main point is being tactful I believe. I admit, I think based on my previous post, and my own evaluation, this is something I need to work a lot on. So like in the previous point, I'll do my best to overcome it, and God willing and with everyone's support, I certainly can and will.

I'm really encouraged by this passage. Today's sermon helped as well. To live in God's abundance, we have to do four things.

1) RENEW my mind Rom 12:2
2) Mix the Word with FAITH Heb 4:2
3) ACT on God's spoken Word Deut 8:1-3 (this point in particular)
4) Put Jesus FIRST in my life Prov 3:9-10

Really praise God for this! Amen!

Long day, but quite fulfilling. Went for my test today, and I scored a measly 19/30. It was totally unexpected. That test was supposed to be a programming test, but they asked definitions of concepts instead of the understanding of their usage and applications. The time constraint didn't help either. I expected at least 25 out of 30... Granted, I was really careless (I got 2 simple ones wrong because I was too flustered and missed it), but I really think it's not something that should've been done as it doesn't really test our ability to program well IMHO. Although many would probably disagree with me. Still, I think I'm entitled to my opinion no?

Yes, it's late. I don't know why but I feel good about cast practice today. More than once I could feel the emotions from the scenes. I guess it's true that when you really throw yourself into it, it really get's you going. It's like an adrenaline rush that keeps coming. I certainly hope I'm not the only person feeling it.

I think the time has finally come where some start getting a little uneasy with others. I really don't think I have anything against anyone. I had a few serious conversations with certain people and I really don't know what to think anymore. I believe I'm the kind of person who is very frank, most of the times brutally so. I usually just say what I mean, even though it may not be very pleasing for others to hear. Some are in the opinion that I shouldn't do that. Is it really wrong to tell a person if you see something wrong? I don't really know. I feel that you need two kinds of people around. One who is always the quiet type and bottles everything up inside and carries on, and the other who just blurts out what sometimes needs to be said. I was kind of struck that someone told me that it was better for me to just keep quiet when I'm unhappy about something. I do agree that sometimes (if not quite often) I say things which are hurtful. But I know and I know and I know that I don't say them with the intention of hurting them or wanting to put them down, even though sometimes it may seem that way. I don't like to keep things inside, so when I feel unhappy or uncomfortable about something, I just say it. Sure, I agree that we have to control our emotions, but sometimes it's not a matter of letting emotions get the better of you, rather I just feel the need to say or do something. I believe I'm a very VERY task oriented person. I don't really think too much about feelings as long as I solve the problem. That could be a negative thing, and I do try to work on it. But then again, is it so wrong to be focused on solving the problems even if sometimes it is overlooking the emotional aspect? Isn't it wrong to be to focused on the emotional aspect that the problem is never addressed and hence never solved? Isn't it also wrong to think that by keeping things inside it works well for everyone?

I personally feel that being told if there's something is wrong with me is better; at least I'd know. Of course, you could say that it's just me and that not everyone can take it being told of their character flaws. So is it the right thing to just let it continue to let it linger and never help that person solve it because they never know there's something wrong? Isn't it the case of when a person sees another in a difficult situation but refuses to do anything as compared to someone who sees it and tries to help that person, even if the help is refused or taken as hostility? Is it wrong to do something to help a person when that person seems not to want it or refuses it but the something may actually be benneficial or even crucial? I really don't know anymore. Just because someone doesn't appear to accept your help but obviously needs it, does it mean we don't? Similarly, just because you think someone may not like it if they're told of a character flaw, does it mean we never point it out to them and help them overcome it? Of course, the way in which we do it is important too, but that isn't what I'm discussing just yet. I can address this another time.

Wow, I wrote quite a bit today. I certainly hope that there are no typos.

I got my band budget proposal done and submitted, and thank goodness for Eng Kiat who helped me with the amp proposal. I think band is really indebted to a lot of seniors this year, especially since I'm new. I'm going to sleep now. Tomorrow is a long day. Night!

Well, I went for my scholarship interview today. It was pretty interesting. I really didn't know what to expect. The interview went smoothly IMHO. Initially I was a little intimidated; largely because I haven't had a formal interview before, but when I stepped into the room, I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was only ONE interviewer. That calmed me down a lot! I took a seat, and it started from there. The interview was supposed to be 10 minutes, but I took longer than that. We had a talk about my background, why I choose to come to Singapore and my plans. I guess I was just truthful and said what I felt. I certainly hope that wasn't a wrong decision...

After the warm ups, I was pretty much on full swing. It was really nice talking to the interviewer. He asked a lot of questions which got me thinking. That was a nice change, I suppose. Furthermore, I found out that he was from Malaysia. I caught a small hint that he could possibly be wondering whether or not to give me the scholarship on the basis on whether I was likely to stay and work in Singapore. I didn't really say no, but I didn't quite agree to that either. Most likely, it'll be a wait and see, and I'm pretty fine with that.

After the interview, I went home, changed and headed straight for dance. Everyone thought I woke up late. >.< I really didn't, so don't give me any sarcastic "good morning, Gerald's." Dance was interesting though. I like the last dance, it's really cute. It's the finale one so I expect it to be somewhat jumpy and happy. Overall, it was pretty fun.

I guess this holidays are really for catching up on work. I've been studying too, got a test tomorrow. All the best to me I guess. Ok, I think I'll go back to work. And I got some feedback about my blog, may make some changes in time to come. Guess it got kinda boring anyhow. A new layout would be good. And no, I do NOT intend to get a flash one... takes too long to load.

Gah... LONG day... Had classes, followed by interview session. It was pretty interesting although I must say that there certainly is a lack of talent. Not saying that everyone who auditioned was bad, but I was certainly hoping for a better level of musical talent. But it turned out OK I guess...

The more pressing matter is the band equipment. They're in pretty bad condition, with all four of the guitars non-functional, I think we're in need of a serious equipment overhaul. There is however, a budget constrain so I guess I'll have to make do with fixing the available amp and two of the guitars. Too bad the Stratocaster™ is probably unsalvagable, or at least it isn't worth the cost. Thank goodness there're people around to help me. Many thanks to Yuhui, EngKiat, James, Boon Yong and all those who helped me out today (sorry if I left out your name... >.<) Hope that you guys will continue to support me. Proposal is due in a week to 2 weeks time.

The next thing is concert. I really feel that I'm below expectation, which is bad... I can't even say my lines without it sounding funny or unnatural. *sigh* I wish I could act better. My pronunciation also leaves much to be desired, but I'll work on it as much as I can. God help me!

I don't really have much left to say. I think it's good when people do think positively about things. I certainly hope I can too, and that I can help others to think the same way. Signing off!

Things have a funny way of happening. So far cast has been really interesting and the occasional stressful periods help add some challenges of the task. But now I have yet another task at hand. I'm 'officially' (needs to be authenticated I believe) the hall band mm. What that means is basically I take care of the band... o.O It's a relatively tall order, but a manageable one I believe. The biggest thing I had in mind was commitement level. However, having a nice talk with the previous band mm, it doesn't seem all THAT difficult and taxing. At the very least, my Friday nights are still free for cell as are my Sundays.

With regards to my previous post, I finally changed the photo. Thank goodness. To those who didn't see the old one... don't worry, you didn't miss much. Still have to work a bit for concert.

I'm trying not to be too 'bridge prone'. It's definitely not at the 'addicted' level. But better not let it get to there before I do something about it. But it IS rather fun and I'm having a relatively slack semester.

Life is quite good. Minus all the 'minor' upsets and letdowns... I certainly wonder why so many people are starting blogs... my sister for one... but that's good. Ok, need to settle stuff. Till next post!

Gah! My photo on cast looks BAAD!!! I wanna change it... gotta talk to publicity people about that... I KNOW i'm not photogenic... but that photo really makes me look like... nevermind...

Church was awesome. Ps Kong really preached a good message about prayer. Elijah was a melancholic ordinary person. The power he had was only because of his prayer. In essence, if you want power of the Holy Spirit, then pray! Amen!

I got cast today. Luckily I already finished my lab assignment and submitted it. Passed everything. Yay!

Hmm, I think I'll go for tea... Nothing much happening... concert is getting closer and well, work, work, work! But it's fun!