Views on relationships

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I've always wondered why things seem so complicated sometimes. No, this isn't going to be an unhappy post, but more of a self reflection type of post.

Let's get it off my chest. The issue of relationships has been popping up very often recently. Conversations with people around me seem to indicate that my status is... 'surprising'.

I guess it needs to be said. I somehow just don't feel the motivation or urge to get attached. I'm just not looking. Of course, I'm open to the idea, and I can't say for sure what's going to happen in the weeks or months to come, but in no way am I feeling urgent about it. Perhaps I feel I'm not ready, or perhaps I just set too high a requirement (whether or not I consciously admit it). I'm doing pretty well as it is, and I'm enjoying what life has to offer everyday.

Sometimes I wonder if all those warnings about getting into relationships prematurely have gotten to me. I understand why it was all done, and I can see the logic behind telling us to watchful and to avoid such heartaches. However, as I look back, I realise that personally I haven't had very good relationships with people of the opposite sex, and by relationships, I mean friendships and the like. I just didn't know how to relate to them. There were many great friendships I could've had, but don't simply because I always kept my distance from people of the opposite sex. My mindset was that we can't be more than acquaintances if you were a girl.

Naturally, that perception has changed. I'm no longer so narrow minded, but I can't go back and change all those things.

In any case, maybe I'm just tired. Tired of thinking about finding that 'someone'. Tired of wondering if 'that person' suited me. Tired of the mixture of anticipation and dread if the relationship progressed. Tired of the emotional roller-coaster I'd experience. It takes effort, it takes patience, and it takes perseverance, and that's something that I think I'm not ready to sacrifice at this time.

I think I need a break from all this. I don't foresee myself staying this way, but at least for now... not having any of these worries is a relief.

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Posted by Gerald at 9/12/2007 03:48:00 AM