Personal Blather!

So I've been visiting my doctor very often lately. After two X-rays and many consultations, he referred me to a specialist, who promptly told me that I'd better put my finger back on a splint for another 6 weeks.

If it doesn't heal, I'll have to go for surgery.

That woke me up. It's no longer a small problem. He asked if I was fine with how the finger was... and I told him no. My left finger is important for me to type. If I'm going to be working with computers as much as I think I am, there's no doubt that this is going to be a problem.

The biggest worry for me though, is that I play the guitar, and without this finger functioning perfectly (as it is, I can't fully bend it) I can no longer play. The specialist told me that if it doesn't heal the second time around, I would have to operate if I ever want to play the guitar again.

Father I believe that You are the God who heals, so I ask that in Jesus' name, bring healing to my finger that I may function fully again. I believe in Your healing.

Thanks to everyone who's praying for me.

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Definition: The feeling of uncomfortable tension which comes from holding two conflicting thoughts in the mind at the same time.

"A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." - James 1:8

Knowing something in your head, is not the same as accepting something in your spirit. One can listen to a sermon or teaching and accept that it's a good teaching in one's head, but fail utterly to internalize it and accept it in one's spirit. This is what Jesus meant when He explained the parable of the sower. Some seed (the word) fell onto stony ground, and these are the people who listen to the word and accept it with joy, but the word does not take root, because it does not penetrate into the spirit. When tribulation comes, it withers because there is no root.

Being doubtful and indecisive is torturous. There are many times when I don't know which way seems the 'right' way. Most decisions you make in life are in fact not clear cut black and white, but always in shades of gray. So many times I've made decisions without thinking things through and regretted it later. On hindsight, they were not very wise decisions. Yet when we try to factor in too many considerations, we end up becoming immobilized, unable to make any conclusion. This is the source of doubtfulness and indecisiveness.

Thankfully, I believe that in these decisions, He will guide us through. Again, it's not that walking the path He asks you to will be all rosy, but knowing that this is what He wants gives me strength even when things don't seem to be going well.

I believe I've done my best, and will continue doing it. I have no regrets and will focus to keep doing that... and whatever happens, happens.

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... open doors. Unfortunately, I'm thinking I don't have that kind of luxury...

It can get frustrating when you try to do your best in whatever area it is, but end up seeing what is seemingly a fruitless venture. It's tough when putting in your best effort, believing for SOME (even if it's small) success leads only to disappointment.

Hope has always been something everyone clings on to despite facing hardships, for without it we'd all wither, crumble and give in. How do you tell the difference between stubbornly refusing to let go of something which you probably should, from standing firm, persevering and riding the storm? It's a question I've asked many times.

I guess the closest I have to finding the answer, is knowing that if you follow God's directions, and the hope is from Him, then you should persevere until you breakthrough. Otherwise, you're just acting on your own strength and not standing by His words.

I believe in what He says, not that everything will definitely turn out smoothly just because He revealed His word to me, but that in the end, this is the path He has asked me to walk... and I will walk it to the best of my ability, relying on His strength and direction every step of the way.

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Sometimes, things happen that you really can't say much about... You don't have any control over them so the only thing you can do is sit at the sidelines and watch...

Now it seems that this sideline at least, is getting cramped. Please don't get injured anymore.

With so many things happening, it's best to just wait for the dust to settle before doing anything... rash decisions now can be very detrimental...

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The last semester of my student life is about to begin this coming Monday. I really don't want it to come, because I know it will zip by me and before I know it I'll be graduating.

I really enjoy university life and I don't want to leave it so soon!

In any case, there really isn't much of a choice. The transition can be frightening, but at the same time, exciting! I don't know for sure what's going to happen, but I do know that I'll be entering a new phase in my life, and a very important one at that.

So what are the things I'd like to do before I graduate? I don't really know. I guess I really ought to spend more time with the people around, and cherish the friendships I've got because there won't be a lot of time in the future. Many things will be done for the 'last time', and I guess I really DO want to make this year as memorable as possible. Last year ended really well for me, but I'm believing that this year will be even better.

Working on my goals for this year and realizing that some of the things are pretty achievable, but others would be difficult to achieve to the point it can seem a little unrealistic... or rather, I'd need a lot of FAITH to attain it. No reason not to aim high though.

Four years in university and it's down to the last semester. Here's to a great final few months in school. Maybe some miracles may happen to make it even more memorable... ^_^

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The sermon today talked about focus, about how our goals have to be Specific, Measurable, come with an Action plan, Realistic, have a Time frame, be planned with Expectation management and with Revelation, or SMARTER. This sermon is pretty standard stuff, but pastor added some new parts to it at the end.

We need goals so that we can focus on them, to have a place to concentrate our energy on. The opposite of focus, is DISTRACTION! So pastor was sharing about some of the things we mustn't do.

1) Don't get distracted by INTERIM SUCCESSES John 3:22
Jesus was focussed on his calling, not on the seeming success of his baptism ministry.

2) Don't get distracted by COMPETITION John 21:17-22
Regardless of what your rivals are doing, focus your energy on achieving your goal.

3) Don't get distracted by the PAIN OF LIFE Heb 12:1-2
Always keep your eyes on the important thing.

I was really encouraged by it. Now it's time I penned down all my goals.

Oh, trip back to KL was fun, tiring but pretty enjoyable I guess...

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