Personal Blather!

You'd have thought after the exams people would be liberated, free, find happiness, be able to derive pleasure from doing what they want to... Aparrently that's not true... At least not to me.

I don't know why but the 'end' of exams this time was simply just another day. I was not especially ecstatic nor was I feeling excited. I'd have thought I would be... but I'm not... I wished I knew why...

Maybe it's just the fact that I've lost a goal to strive for... Perhaps it is the realisation that I did what I could and there's nothing else that can be done anymore. Maybe it's just that I haven't made a thorough plan for how to treat myself... Maybe I just don't know how to...

The fact is, whatever joy (if any at all) that can be derived from circumstances are not true joy... they are dependent more on us than our circumstances I think... I may have finished my exams, but I may not be as happy as someone who still has papers tomorrow. I may a whole three month break to enjoy, but others may be happier working everyday for hours on end. It's our attitude, not the situation that makes us excited and happy.

It beats me why I'm feeling a bit on the low side... Logically I can't think of a single thing that would make me feel this way... unless perhaps... guess we somehow can't forget everything we want to... Nor can we remember the things we really want to...

Lost? So am I... Help me, Lord...