Personal Blather!

As promised, here are the pictures so that everyone can enjoy. The first few were taken underwater and are pretty cool. I learned how to open my eyes underwater just for these shots (well, one of them anyway).

 Me getting up close and personal with a sea anemone
 Batman underwater!
 Christmas Trees up close
 Group Photo!

Edit: I couldn't post more because it seems I can upload a maximum of four photos per post... So I guess for now this will be the only four I put up. You don't want to see the rest anyway... at least not any that has me in it... ^_^

Sometimes, things just seem never to go your way. No sooner have I decided to be positive, I get another slap...

Either God is testing me or I was never meant to get out of my melancholy... and I've decided it's the former. So I'll keep being positive, keep being strong (as much as I can), and keep on keeping on.

Nothing much to post, except I probably start work next week. Nonlinear inversion is really interesting, sometimes something simple can be extremely complex at the same time. Read it up if you want to.

So far, I've caught MI:3, Da Vinci's Code and X-men 3, and I must say that all three aren't what I'd call blockbusters. They were solid enough so that it wasn't a total letdown, but they weren't as great as they were made out to be. I'd think X-men 3 was the best of the lot, giving closure to the trilogy. It somehow didn't seem right to me though, especially when it ended with so many deaths... Da Vinci's Code wasn't that bad, but seriously, go read the book if you want to do something interesting and save the money. I really felt they could've casted someone better other than Tom Hanks to play Robert Langdon, but I guess they could've done worse... MI:3 was somehow bland... don't ask me why, it just was...

Right, that's all I'm going to post now... frequency shouldn't increase probably till term starts...

I'm feeling a lot better today. Guess it does help to share sometimes... there's no real need to say a lot... thanks!

I've started to get things back on track. I'm hoping that this can be a productive period for me, and thankfully I've taken steps in that direction already. Concert is progressing quite ok so that's good news. Emerge is coming next week, and I'm really looking forward to it. After the prayer meeting today (talk about training spiritual stamina, i can't believe it was almost 2 hourse of non-stop praying in the spirit) I think my faith just got a whole lot stronger. The call to be prepared for the conference is about getting ourselves in tune with God as we prepare for Him to speak to us.

I'm looking forward to hearing a word from Him specifically for me.

There are surprisingly not that few people around in hall. Can get quite interesting around here...

I was asked if I wanted to go for a cruise... a nice one which lasts 2 weeks going to places I never dreamed of going. The price? RM5000+. That's no small amount, but considering it's a medditerreanian cruise and the price includes the flight to the port of embarkation and back, I think it's quite worth it. The problem is, I don't know if I'm free during that period, and I don't exactly foresee myself hanging out with my aunts and uncles who are going for it. Nothing wrong with them, but I really think that if I want to enjoy two weeks on a holiday like that, I'd prefer company that I can relate better with, and who have similar interests as I do...

I'm still looking for those Redang photos... Seriously need to post them up soon or I'll forget...

Things are certainly looking up.

I realise that I've been quite short tempered lately. I can credit it to the melancholic mood that I'm almost perpetually in now, but that wouldn't be very right. I guess everyone needs to learn more how not to blow their fuse.

No, I don't want to talk about it, or write about it. No, I prefer to leave everything that I put up to stay HERE. No, I rather you didn't ask me about anything regarding anything that I post. Sometimes I just want to unload and forget about it, and questioning me isn't helping.

This has got me utterly disgusted with myself. *slap* Wake up already! Start being more cheerful...

I guess sometimes some things just won't go away; You just pile up more and more things on it till it can't be seen, but it's there. It's always there, and when you push those other things aside it screams right in your face again. Such is life...

So just accept it and grow up!

I've been home for about a week, and as great as 'home' may seem, I still think there's something missing... although I think I've been able to grasp the edges of it lately.

Home is IMHO, the people. You go back to see your parents, friends, family members... and it means next to nothing if you fail to see these people. My own friends seem to have disappeared... or rather, most are not back from overseas yet. That leaves a huge gap between seeing my parents (which I've been spending time with everyday for the past one week) and... sleep. Not that I resent seeing them, but I do so want to see a whole host of other people too.

One other possible reason why things are the way they are is that it's simply not as practical to meet up with people anymore. Having moved to my current place (In KL, about RM2.50 away from Subang) it's quite expensive to travel down to Subang to meet people. That's one reason why I no longer have late night mamaks or games. That plus it takes about half an hour to actually GET to Subang just for a simple drink. (Inclusive of time waiting for the lift) I guess things have changed quite a bit.

The rest of the people studying around here are also having their exams at this point in time. It's not very nice to ask any of them out either. I've been away from church here for so long, most of the people I know are already somewhere else studying or working. I guess there's a huge gap in a lot of places this time around, one in which I don't know if it's possible to bridge.

I think that although I still call this place home, it's highly likely that after so many years away, the things which connect me to this place are getting eroded one by one. I still cherish the friendships and the people, but the place holds little significance anymore. My parents would be an important factor, but everyone else I know here may or may not choose to eventually settle down here, so unless they do, this place is just like any other place, with people I hardly know or connect with.

This is not a license to stay away from KL. I just feel that coming back here holds less and less significance each time simply because the things here have changed so much that it's about as new as every other thing.

Sadly, I'm counting the days until I go back to Singapore. Again, it's not the place that makes the difference, it's the people... and I certainly hope that there'll be people around when I go back.

I've been away the past few days and it's been great. My trip to Redang was eventful and very exciting. We were there a total of 3 days, but we only actually enjoyed two full days over there. We spent about one day and a half travelling there. Seems transport to that place would be good only if we fly.

Unfortunately, flight seems to be an option available only to those going to the Berjaya™ resort. We went to the Laguna™ resort instead. It was more a hassle to travel there, but the cool thing is that everything is covered, from the ferry ride, to our food. The food was good too. It was all buffet, three meals a day, and we really ate and ate.

The main attraction of Redang is probably the snorkeling. They had two sessions every day and we went as often as we could. We were of course eager to go see the underwater life up close and personal, and if lucky enough perhaps even see turtles or baby sharks. I wasn't that lucky, but some others were. I gave up on my life jacket and went without for most of the trip. The snorkel took a little getting used to, but it DID help me keep my face in the water longer. Still, I swallowed no small amount of sea water.

The result was that I had a superbly lobsterfied back. I won't complain though, since it was probably my own fault. In any case, for most of the trip, we had really good weather, so I'm thankful. I even remember the dismay some portrayed when it rained during breakfast. I believed it would stop in time, and it did.

We went for two open snorkeling sessions and one at the marine park. The marine park was interesting as it had an incredible amount of fish, which ate out of your hand. I managed to take a couple of photos underwater, and although they aren't perfect, are still worth noting. Unfortunately, I don't have them just yet, so I'll wait till I get my hands on them before I post them up!

The trip has come to an end, and exciting as it was, it's starting to wear thin. I admit I don't exactly have a lot to look forward to, but I haven't been having the best time of my life, although I do try to be positive about everything.

Guess I'll sign off here before this turns into a rant.

Tags: Redang, Snorkeling, Marine, Lobsterfied

I'm suffering a post-exam syndrome, where the patient doesn't find much excitement in the day. I know things shouldn't be this way. I guess the exams were really a good thing to focus on and I could forget all other things by just telling myself I should be 'concentrating on studying'. Now that I don't have that anymore, I could tell myself to 'concentrate on concert', but that wouldn't be to wise in the sense that concert shouldn't be the biggest priority, His work is! In any case, I need to find the joy in doing whatever it is I 'want' to do... I think the biggest problem is finding those things that I 'want' to do...

I may not know myself all that well I guess. My interests can be very fickle, one moment passionate about it, another indifferent. To me, they rise and fall like a tide. Sometimes, an old interest becomes interesting again, and sometimes a 'new' one wanes to the point it becomes insignificant. I think that's how a lot of us are. We go with trends, and are easily influenced by our peers. That probably explains why we usually get interested in something together with our friends. Even if we initially find it not as interesting, the fact that we're doing it together adds a lot of interest into the subject. I remember really liking CS a lot, but on hindsight, I think I was really into it once upon a time because of my peers. It was a subject that we could talk about, that we could use to initiate conversations, to discuss and argue about. It was pitting our skills (in which I lacked tremendously) against each other. The 'pleasure' was derived in knowing that we play it together... at least that was how it was for me.

I don't have a particular interest now. True, the occasional DotA game is fine by me, but it's not exactly the thing that I wake up looking forward to. I've come to realise that in the time I now have, all the 'things' that I wanted to do don't seem as important or interesting. There is no 'drive' to go and organise a game, and I find it pointless playing with AI. The thing is, I feel as if I'm drifting along, waiting for something to happen, or looking for something to make happen. Concert can be a good distraction to positively fuel the emotion, so can church. I do still need time off though, so I'll concentrate on enjoying myself in the break a little. In line with this, I CHOOSE to NOT be 'sien'. I will force myself to be positive and as exciting as I can... if not now then at least when we go over to Redang.

What's that? Yes, I'm going to Redang next week. The blog might be a little backdated, but I'm sure you'll survive...

Doing a little packing and helping the others with storage. I'm quite glad I don't have to move, so I'm just going to leave things as they are more or less... More efficient than packing/unpacking.

If you DO have an interesting thing to share, like a game or a book, do drop a comment.

Tags: Sien, Boredom, Interests

You'd have thought after the exams people would be liberated, free, find happiness, be able to derive pleasure from doing what they want to... Aparrently that's not true... At least not to me.

I don't know why but the 'end' of exams this time was simply just another day. I was not especially ecstatic nor was I feeling excited. I'd have thought I would be... but I'm not... I wished I knew why...

Maybe it's just the fact that I've lost a goal to strive for... Perhaps it is the realisation that I did what I could and there's nothing else that can be done anymore. Maybe it's just that I haven't made a thorough plan for how to treat myself... Maybe I just don't know how to...

The fact is, whatever joy (if any at all) that can be derived from circumstances are not true joy... they are dependent more on us than our circumstances I think... I may have finished my exams, but I may not be as happy as someone who still has papers tomorrow. I may a whole three month break to enjoy, but others may be happier working everyday for hours on end. It's our attitude, not the situation that makes us excited and happy.

It beats me why I'm feeling a bit on the low side... Logically I can't think of a single thing that would make me feel this way... unless perhaps... guess we somehow can't forget everything we want to... Nor can we remember the things we really want to...

Lost? So am I... Help me, Lord...

It's labour day... It's a holiday, but I still have to labour for my last paper tomorrow. Granted looking through the past year questions it's tough to study for (How do you study for a paper which asks you to write a letter/proposal based on some guidelines given in a text book and is open book?) but at least I'm going through the book. A lot of it is simply common sense if you ask me. The whole chapter on ICC can be summarised in 2 words: Be diplomatic. The whole User manual writing can also be summed up as: Follow the steps given in the text book. Same goes for the proposal. Ever heard of marketing?

I understand the need for us to be aware that a lot of us make these mistakes, but I think it's rather pointless too because learning about it theoratically and in a classroom/lecture setting isn't going to be taken very seriously by a lot of people. In the end, most will forget the content and really learn only when they've ruffled a few feathers and made a few mistakes. Experience teaches a lot fater than theory.

That aside, it's a public holiday, and people are eager to go and enjoy themselves. It doesn't help that most have papers tomorrow. Mine is at 1 pm, and although I really think I don't have to do much, I'm not taking it for granted. I'm going through the text book (about half way there) to familiarise myself with the chapters and to recall the 'concepts'. It'd be pointless to try to memorise I think. Unfortunately I can only bring the textbook and no other materials with me. I'm free after tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to the trip to Redang. Also looking forward to seeing people in KL... if they're ever around.

Nothing much left to write, got half a text book to cover and lunch a-calling. Hoping to write more after my paper.

Tags: Labour, Exams, ICC