Personal Blather!

Every time I come back, I have to watch myself. I'm quite glad that I'm doing quite well spiritually, but that doesn't mean I'm all that great. I have to watch myself that I don't let pride get the better of me. Still, I do feel a great burden when I see the lack of passion, the lack of hunger and the lack of seriousness when it comes to the things of God here.

I feel a very heavy burden, a holy dissatisfaction, largely because I myself awoke not too long ago. I realize now that my attitude in the past was the same as those that I see now, and because of that, I realize just what I'd been missing out on.

And I really pray that all those who have yet to realize it as I have will.

Never have I been as convicted about what the Bible calls 'lukewarmness'. There are so many things it says about how we ought to seek first His kingdom, or in other words, seek after spiritual things, and He will take care of the rest. Unfortunately, instead of arranging our lives around God, with Him being the core, many take God as just another part of who they are. Going to church is a weekly 'club', and we do things because we're expected to. This attitude of placing God as a secondary priority causes us to live a powerless life, one which we rely on ourselves, and we never walk by faith.

God is looking for a heart that places Him first, and I know that most people would say out loud that they do. The revelation they receive is not wrong, but it is only on the intellectual level, not on the spiritual level. If every word and wisdom of God spoken to us only convicts us at the intellectual level, we are learning only concepts, which is basically the law. Now biblical concepts are not bad or wrong, but Jesus came to save, and to give us the power to be set free. Again being free does not mean to be lawless, but to be reliant on Jesus' strength and not your own. Most of us just don't have Jesus as the center of our life, so how can we have His strength?

So we live a defeated life, or at least, a faithless one. We play it very safe, and we walk solely on our own abilities. Being educated and well to do means a lot of us don't really see the need to have God much. We've never been placed in a place where we have no choice but to have absolute faith in God's goodness. Since we never 'need' God, He's never really all that important for us.

I'm not saying our background or life has to be in a bad condition and that we must be in a situation where we are in dire need for His intervention all the time, but we have never been challenged, and we never gain the passion for Him.

We need to learn that God is really seeking for someone to make decisions that are FOR HIM. This shows in little things that we do, like whether or not we're willing to step out of our comfort zone to do something for Him. Do we sacrifice our time for prayer meetings? Make time in our private lives to be spent in His presence? Rely on His goodness and move when He asks us to?

Conviction has to happen at the spiritual level. We have to be convicted enough when God speaks to make tough decisions and move according to His will. If our Christian faith is just an intellectual one, then we shortchange ourselves from living the true Christian life that Jesus came to give to us.

There are many things that I can still learn, and I am always humbled when I'm here. I really pray each day that I do not lose the personal revival I am experiencing. Each day, I try to commit myself more and more to Him, to tune myself to be sensitive to His word and His vision. Most of all, I pray for a greater revelation and that I will never lose my passion and seriousness in the things of God.