Nostalgic visit
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
It's been a good solid year and more since I last even visited this place. I doubt it will last long. Still, there are many things here that give glimpses of my past experiences. Some I cherish, some I am want to forget. But in all, it's still interesting to visit.
Work has obviously taken it's toll and I don't think much had changed. I'm still as busy as ever if not more so and Im still waiting for a lull period that doesn't seem to be coming. In a flash I've been working for more than a year and I must wonder a little about life and what I'm in for and where I'm headed in life.
I am me. I have been and always will be. Although i strive for change, for betterment of myself, attitudes, thinking, outlook, mindset, opinions, words... I'm still me. Sadly that's not really good enough sometimes is it?
This isn't meant to be a depressing post, but more a reflective one. I still need You, now more than ever, and I can cling on to only You, for who else is there who loves me like You?
And as I'm still trusting You, I have yet to find my suitable helper, or potential helper. Still, take me and lead me for Your will is really all that matters...
Labels: Personal, Revelation
Disappointment
Friday, December 12, 2008
Work is going fine really... but something was ignited inside of me, a holy dissatisfaction if you will, that got me quite stirred up.
The year is coming to an end, and it's almost Christmas, but no, I don't feel all warm and fuzzy. In fact, I'm a little apprehensive about the things to come, although I'm praying hard about the coming year.
The thing that's bugging me is this: How can you have faith in people when you're not accepted as you are by them?
How do you feel comfortable when your acceptance stems not from being yourself, but from being what others are comfortable with?
I know this is human nature, and I myself am guilty of this at times. I understand that people only accept you if they're comfortable with you and have things in common with you. I also understand that idiosyncrasies are hard to be comfortable with...
But this should NOT happen HERE.
I know, we shouldn't be looking for acceptance from man, but the least anyone would expect is the demonstration of God's acceptance no?
THIS is the problem! How can we expect others to feel comfortable when we aren't accepting? Do you even care? I know your mouths will tell me yes, but your actions tell me no. Most are to stuck in their own comfort zone, content with doing what is comfortable rather than what's right. Sure I could do the same, and I can admit that I've been tempted many many MANY times... but I still try to do what's RIGHT!
I can't really blame anyone, after all, I'm at fault too. But it doesn't mean I should feel happy or content about it.
Nobody said it was easy. Nobody said it was 'natural'. It's NOT. This is precisely WHY it's a sacrifice. It's also precisely why that's what God expects us to do. Unfortunately, most of us can't see past our own little circle of comfort to extend that genuine love we ought to have for others who may be different. Again, no, I'm not blaming anyone, but maybe, just MAYBE, someone will realize the same things I have, and stop giving the excuse that "I'm just not comfortable PERIOD" but instead take the "I'm not too comfortable but because I want to be the living proof of God's love, I'll TRY!"
If there was one thing I wished for this Christmas, it would be this...
Avenue Q
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The show itself covered a wide variety of things that we often think about, but will never publicly talk about due to political incorrectness. It's a very 'Western' setting though, so issues such as finding your own place after college, finding purpose and meaning in life, one night stands and the like might be lost on certain people. The show's take on racism and homosexuality are probably what most people truly think, but wouldn't admit it to anyone even if asked.
The songs were absolutely MAGNIFICENT. I take my hats off to the lyricist, whoever he/she is. The tunes were very catchy, but to me, it is the quality of the lyrics that makes it truly amazing. I couldn't help buying the soundtrack.
The content is very adult themed, so vulgarities and sexual innuendos were everywhere. Definitely not for the conservative, there's even an actual 'sex scene'. While I don't subscribe to those values, understanding why others do help me enjoy the show and 'appreciate' the jokes.
All in all, it is definitely a fun watch. I'd like to go again, but it has already blown a hole in my pocket, so I'll need to save up the coming weeks. If you enjoy witty dialog, songs and appreciate superb lyrics that 'fit' a song but at the same time carry punchlines and quality humour, then Avenue Q is a MUST WATCH!
Labels: Personal
To me
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
I just wanted a record of this day...
Very low key...
Not complaining though...
Thanks for all the well wishes...
The thoughts are more than enough...
Wondering if I should be worried that I'm indifferent...
Happy birthday to me!
Labels: Personal
Anything?
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Me: No.
A: Are you sure? Just say what you want.
Me: Nothing.
A: Why so stubborn?
Me: I'm not. I really can't think of anything I really want.
A: There must be something that you think about wanting.
Me: Yes. 42" LCD TV. A drum set. An electric guitar and amp. PS3. A pair of Geox. Strike Freedom MG Full Burst.
A: ... Something not so pricey?
Me: Nope. Can't think of anything.
A: ...
To set the record straight, I really can't think of anything at this point that I'd feel really happy about getting this time around. Those are just 'wants', and are really just indulgence. I'm quite satisfied without.
Thing is, I'm really a very easy person to please. I'm satisfied very easily, and you don't need to go to great lengths before I can feel happy. The thought to me is more than enough.
Labels: Personal
Unusual Response
Monday, November 03, 2008
I think the difficulty for me, is what exactly constitutes this unusual response? That which is unusual for others, may be usual to me. That which is unusual to me, may be usual to others. I guess it refers to the context where the 'normal' response is that which most people in the world would deem the logical, rational, and understandable one.
I'm reminded again by Prov 13:12, about how unfulfilled hope for success and breakthrough makes the heart sick, and THIS is the reason why breakthrough is necessary! Without seeing the hand of God moving, it is impossible to keep having a passion for His things, to find excitement in life, to wake up each morning looking forward to newer things...
A sick heart is one where visions from God become merely a prolonged and unfulfilled hope or could degenerate into merely wishful thinking... In order to overcome this, the manifestation of God's promises in our lives is necessary!
As I reflect back on the visions I have for my life, for the things God has called me to, I know that there are many times where I feel discouraged, that these visions are so difficult to fulfill, that they're just a desire that is intangible, and sometimes, even that they're not from Him... but I believe, that as I give my unusual response... as I do something that steps beyond that which is ordinary, beyond that which is 'usual', His word will become flesh in my life!
I present to You my first fruits!
Labels: Personal, Revelation
Understanding yourself
Saturday, November 01, 2008
I don't know why I do the things I do.
I don't know why I say the things I say.
I don't know why I approach things the way I approach them.
I don't know why I love the things and people I love.
I don't know why I can't seem to find the strength.
I just don't understand how or why... I think at the end of the day, I just wished I knew why I think the way I think...
Or maybe this is just an excuse to write a post...
Labels: Personal
ThankYou
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thank you for being there when I needed to talk to someone. Thank you for putting up with my repeated and often irritating melancholic moods. Thank you for making time to meet despite your busy schedule. Thank you for trusting and opening up to me...
Thank you for being the best friend anyone can ask for. :)
Labels: Personal
Personality
You Are An INFJ |
The Protector You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity. Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is. You are an excellent listener with almost infinite patience. You have complex feelings, and you take great care to express them. In love, you see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow. You enjoy relationships when they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation. At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support. You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable |
Labels: Personal
Personal Updates and Various News
Thursday, October 23, 2008
So, what's been happening? First thing that comes to mind is of course the annual Raffles Hall concert. This year was a pretty interesting and daring take of crime and mystery. First off, my hats off to marketing and fund raising for not only securing excellent sponsors but also raising sufficient funds. The support team this year was magnificent IMHO. The booklet was original and fresh, which made it very unique. However, I really question the necessity for PR as a sub-committee. I don't think they did a bad job though...
From the producer's point of view I'd think the management did make a very good decision to cut down the number of days at UCC. It was something that was considered before, but discarded previously mostly because there was more reliance on our own technical team. It's probably proven to be most cost saving to just rely on UCC technicians instead of letting tech try to run on their own. They may not learn as much, but I think that must be the way to go moving forward.
As for the performance, I must say the cast were very talented this time around. The script itself was ambitious enough, and it's a good sign when so many talented people can actually be found in hall. Not everything was perfect, and IMHO, based on their talent, they could really have done better... but the show was nonetheless a good watch. Singing wise, I think they put in a lot of effort as it was pretty obvious they weren't all very good singers, but they hit the right pitches and the effort showed. Dance wise, I personally felt they could've been sharper too, but that's just the cynical side wanting to point out problems. After all, I do know that due to complications, they didn't have as much time to practice it. Acting wise, I felt that they did quite well the first half, and a lot of impromptu additions during the final show was nice... but by the second half, quite a number of them fell flat. I think they got a bit too complacent or tired then, and it showed. Thankfully, it was pretty minor... although it definitely would've added to the quality of the performance if they did it better, or not done it at all.
Anyhow, concert was pretty successful this time around. I at least know that the members enjoyed themselves, and me as the 'bo liao', busybody, nothing better to do than go down and disturb alumni really miss having all that. Enjoy it while it lasts people!
Moving on, cell is going through change these few weeks, with some people being transferred out. A bit sad, but it's all in the life of a cell. Looking forward to greater things God will be doing...
Personally, I've been trying hard to persuade some people to catch Avenue Q with me, but it appears not very many people share the same excitement for it; They're either put off by the price or worried they wouldn't appreciate the content. So, sad to say, I still can't find someone to join me to catch it. Hopefully, maybe, I can still catch it somehow. There's also a local Snow White production coming (Note: Director is Hossan Leong so...) It's obviously an adaptation and meant to be satirical, but AGAIN, people have to be able to appreciate the content, and I don't know very many people who do... Please prove me wrong...
I got my Singapore PR, so I'm officially 'Singaporean' so to speak.
Yup, that's about all the updates I have. Work is... work... but at least I seem to be doing well enough. Maybe I'll have an update on this when there's something worth mentioning.
Cheers!
Labels: Personal
More working life reflections
Friday, September 12, 2008
Working with your boss is something that is weird in a way. He's a very nice guy, but even though I know that, you can't help but feel somehow that you just have to be more productive when he's around, so it gets a bit stressful. He's not in today, and I've been a bit more relaxed, but at the same time, I feel very productive today completing much of my work today!
The way this company is structured makes it a pretty good place to work IMHO. Since day 1 my boss asked me to just go and push those who need to be pushed, even if they're much more senior. The company culture is apparently one where finger pointing isn't as important as SOLVING the problem, and I can at least see that in this project. I'm finding most if not all of my colleagues easy to work with; They're fun, kind, nice, motivated people, and they help keep everyone productive.
I'm enjoying myself here I must say, although the crunch time is not here yet, I'm preparing myself as best I can for it. I don't really mind staying back too, because even if I DO leave, I'm not going to do much back home, plus the work will be waiting for me the next morning. I have a very clear idea of what I'm supposed to accomplish here, and I'm doing what I can to make sure I do just that.
Here's to a long meaningful career! The end will definitely be better than the beginning, and with a start like this... ^_^
Labels: Personal
Reflections on starting work
Monday, September 08, 2008
Like Uni life once you've graduated...
I must admit working life isn't that bad... so far... and I do enjoy some of the challenges and learning experiences thus far. I get the feeling I could do pretty well. Unfortunately, it's a big change to jump into the working world, and I'm trying to adapt as quickly as I can.
I should've worked over the weekend, but that would be unwise. Pacing myself is also important I guess.
By God's grace, I'll be able to still produce good results in my work even with the various commitments I might have.
Back to work!
Labels: Personal
Chrome
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Google Chrome
I'm torn between Firefox and Chrome. Chrome is insanely simple, yet functionally good. I'm having both at the moment, but I think Chrome, being built with a different core, is going to have the technological edge. Updates and further development for Chrome will be much better in the long run.
Oh, in case you're wondering, I'm working now!
Labels: Geeky
New Home
Monday, July 07, 2008
Still, getting my new home is really a blessing. I'm staying with my new 'homies', Ian and JJ. Rental is really reasonable, and we have all utilities including electricity, water, gas and internet covered. My room is really big and minus a shelf, is really comfortable. We went Ikea shopping since it's their annual clearance sale too.
So I've been occupied with cleaning up and settling down in my new place. Luckily things are going well and the place looks really good. It had better stay that way.
In the meantime, it's back to job hunting. Also, we're thinking of doing our housewarming next weekend, hopefully... :)
Labels: Personal
Taiwan Closure
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Only my second Taiwan post and I'm already getting ready to go back. Taipei has been a lot less hectic than the previous parts of the trip, with mostly only shopping on the list of things to do.
Places we visited: Ximending, Shilin, Taipei 101, Danshui and Liufoochun. Don't know if I missed any other place.
In as few words as I can: Lots of things to see, not a lot of things that made me want to buy. Fun. Tiring. One can only do so much shopping.
I think this trip taught me that I'm more suited to shop at 'higher class' places, because as great a bargain as Bugis street lookalikes may have, they serve nothing that suits my tastes, nor is the shopping experience particularly suitable for me.
Heading back tomorrow. As great as Taiwan is, after a while, you kind of get a little tired of the dreary weather. I'm particularly averse to wet weather so yes, I'm also particularly unhappy about the weather. It was still very fun though, and I'm quite glad I came along for this trip. Too bad it's time to bid adieu!
Labels: Personal
Taiwan midway report
Sunday, June 08, 2008
So I've been in Taiwan almost a full week and here's a short little report on what we've done since arriving here.
We touched down in Hong Kong and waited 40 minutes on Monday for our transit flight to Taipei. We finally arrived in Taiwan, and it was raining... it was about dinner time, so we just had time to check in and go for shabu shabu. We were leaving early the next day, so we hit the sack.
The next morning, we awoke early to start our journey around the entire island. It was early but the sun was already up, and it was drizzling, which could pretty much describe most of our trip so far. The nine of us packed into a van and headed to Alishan. Pictures are not with me yet, but I was told it was the Taiwanese version of Cameron Highlands. As usual, the cold did not agree with me, but somehow I managed to come down from there ok. We tried to catch the sunrise which was supposed to be very magnificent from up the mountain, but again, due to rain, we went back disappointed.
We visited the Sun Moon Lake too, which had a lot of nice sceneries. Taking the boat ride across the lake was fun I suppose, but hardly as exciting. Still, the lake was quite impressive. We stayed over there for a night.
The next morning, we went to an aboriginal theme park, ostensibly to see the different tribes that lived in that area. Interestingly, they reminded me a lot about our very own Iban and Kadazan tribes. The theme park also had lots of fun and exciting rides, and I really enjoyed one ride; my first time on a hanging coaster. Sitting right in the front was really exciting!
We rushed a little to catch our train, which was a High Speed Rail (Read: Somewhat like a bullet train, although just a little slower... ). That was pretty impressive IMHO. The train flew like one quarter the length of the island in an hour.
We arrived and caught a bus to Ken Ting, the southernmost tip of Taiwan. It's a seaside area famous for its street stalls, sort of like a daily night market. We had a lot of Taiwanese finger and hawker food. They also had various unique things not usually found in a night market, like game stalls and temporary tattoos. Still, it was quite fun walking around trying out the various unique food... like wild boar meat (which we have officially dubbed TK).
Ken Ting is also famous for its beach and water sports, although not quite the water sports that you think. They have jet skis and banana boat rides, but they also had other more exciting rides, like the donut, or the 'popeye'. Both are similar to the banana boat, but at a much higher intensity. Failure to hold on tightly would result in falling into the sea. Still, they were very very fun, but tiring.
We also visited for the very first time, a hot spring! It was certainly interesting as I never really understood why people would want to go through so much effort just for a shower, but now I do... It's really comfortable! I also managed to try some of the more unique 'therapies', like those leg biting fish, and tea extract. The fish were really fun. It's interesting how they swarm you the moment you put your feet into the water. It's not painful at all although it takes a little getting used to so you don't get too ticklish. I enjoyed it thoroughly. All the various springs had different temperatures depending on what they were for, and we tried just about every single one of them. It was definitely a very fun experience.
So, after a day out at the beach (which thank goodness was free from rain), an evening at the hot spring, and night marketing, we left Ken Ting and caught a bus and train which took us to Hua Lien, which is on the east side of Taiwan. Hua Lien is a relatively big city, and we stayed in a very nice little blue hostel. Somehow, the landlady seemed to favor Ann Leong a lot. In Hua Lien we actually had the opportunity to see a Dragon Boat Race, although it was a bit too sunny for us. We also visited Taroko National Park, and took quite a lot of nice photos there. The highlight of our Hua Lien trip had to be the white water rafting though. Unfortunately, yours truly felt a little unwell half way through, but it was definitely an experience worth having, even though it was only half way. We travelled for about 3++ km downstream, and it was both tiring and hot, but still very enjoyable. It was definitely one of the best parts of the trip!
So after two days in Hua Lien, we bid adieu to the city which gave us our first taste of the internet in such a long time, and headed back to Taipei, which is where I am at the moment. Our touring part of the trip is over, but we still have the shopping part. So far, we've visited Xi Men Ding, but that place is just a little too 'hip' for my taste. I really ought to be shopping for more working clothes anyway.
I'm signing off here. There's plenty more to write about, not to mention photos to put up, but for now, this will have to do. It's been a really fun trip and I'm still looking forward to the next few days.
Oh, and I'm totally well now thanks!
Airport blogging
Monday, June 02, 2008
For the first time... I'm actually blogging at the airport.
I've read about it in other blogs, but I've never really had much of an opportunity to do it, probably because I usually don't get the chance to fly all that much.
So here I am, on my way to Taiwan for my graduation trip. Exciting? Looking forward to it really. :)
There really isn't all that much that I can blog about is there? After all, it's just a spur of the moment thing...
Maybe when I arrive I'll have something to write about... Maybe...
Labels: Personal
Humility
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
This is a very good article.
Nothing much to say because I think it speaks for itself. It really convicts me in these areas of my life.
I will give a few references though:
Matt 6:1, Matt 6:5, Matt 6:16 and Matt 23:5
Labels: Revelation
Lukewarmness
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Every time I come back, I have to watch myself. I'm quite glad that I'm doing quite well spiritually, but that doesn't mean I'm all that great. I have to watch myself that I don't let pride get the better of me. Still, I do feel a great burden when I see the lack of passion, the lack of hunger and the lack of seriousness when it comes to the things of God here.
I feel a very heavy burden, a holy dissatisfaction, largely because I myself awoke not too long ago. I realize now that my attitude in the past was the same as those that I see now, and because of that, I realize just what I'd been missing out on.
And I really pray that all those who have yet to realize it as I have will.
Never have I been as convicted about what the Bible calls 'lukewarmness'. There are so many things it says about how we ought to seek first His kingdom, or in other words, seek after spiritual things, and He will take care of the rest. Unfortunately, instead of arranging our lives around God, with Him being the core, many take God as just another part of who they are. Going to church is a weekly 'club', and we do things because we're expected to. This attitude of placing God as a secondary priority causes us to live a powerless life, one which we rely on ourselves, and we never walk by faith.
God is looking for a heart that places Him first, and I know that most people would say out loud that they do. The revelation they receive is not wrong, but it is only on the intellectual level, not on the spiritual level. If every word and wisdom of God spoken to us only convicts us at the intellectual level, we are learning only concepts, which is basically the law. Now biblical concepts are not bad or wrong, but Jesus came to save, and to give us the power to be set free. Again being free does not mean to be lawless, but to be reliant on Jesus' strength and not your own. Most of us just don't have Jesus as the center of our life, so how can we have His strength?
So we live a defeated life, or at least, a faithless one. We play it very safe, and we walk solely on our own abilities. Being educated and well to do means a lot of us don't really see the need to have God much. We've never been placed in a place where we have no choice but to have absolute faith in God's goodness. Since we never 'need' God, He's never really all that important for us.
I'm not saying our background or life has to be in a bad condition and that we must be in a situation where we are in dire need for His intervention all the time, but we have never been challenged, and we never gain the passion for Him.
We need to learn that God is really seeking for someone to make decisions that are FOR HIM. This shows in little things that we do, like whether or not we're willing to step out of our comfort zone to do something for Him. Do we sacrifice our time for prayer meetings? Make time in our private lives to be spent in His presence? Rely on His goodness and move when He asks us to?
Conviction has to happen at the spiritual level. We have to be convicted enough when God speaks to make tough decisions and move according to His will. If our Christian faith is just an intellectual one, then we shortchange ourselves from living the true Christian life that Jesus came to give to us.
There are many things that I can still learn, and I am always humbled when I'm here. I really pray each day that I do not lose the personal revival I am experiencing. Each day, I try to commit myself more and more to Him, to tune myself to be sensitive to His word and His vision. Most of all, I pray for a greater revelation and that I will never lose my passion and seriousness in the things of God.
Labels: Personal, Revelation
Who you are in Him
Saturday, May 17, 2008
I don't have to be someone else, because I know who He wants me to be...
I'm just believing that as I hold on to Him, and choosing His ways, in everything I do, that His love will cover me, and He will make my paths straight. All I ask, is that You point the direction...
I will walk in that direction...
Labels: Personal, Revelation
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