Personal Blather!

Does your desktop look this good?



Welcome to Hardy Heron. I'm not about to repeat what every other blog says about how it's cool and all, but the features are certainly impressive. I downloaded and burned the ISO, popped it into my CD drive, rebooted my computer, and just selected Language, Region, Keyboard Layout and Disk Partition (which was already setup from previous installs). Within 20 minutes, everything was ready to go! It detected my display settings automatically. Unfortunately, I wanted proprietary drivers. No problem there though, as I easily installed it and after a reboot, I had everything I needed.

The cool eyecandy came built in and I just had to install the Compiz Config Settings Manager, which was just a click from the Synaptics Package Manager, and tweak the settings I wanted. The Scale feature was top of my list because I had gotten used to mousing around for my required window. Just in case you encounter the same problem as me, the binding for mouse movements only is not under 'mouse' but under 'screen'.

There was a slight hitch with the hard drives. Somehow, since I'm using pure SATA drives partitioned into quite a number of logical drives, they end up being unmounted by default. While there's nothing really wrong with that, some of the default settings during boot for me, like my desktop background for instance, is stored on those drives, and this is problematic when the drive isn't automatically mounted. I had to manually configure my fstab, and set it to auto mount. Surprisingly, the other 'glitch' I encountered was that my FAT32 drive couldn't be written to when the 'defaults' option was placed in my fstab. I had to manually configure it, and in the process learned something new. I found out that 'defaults' under fstab meant that permissions would be set to 'nouser', so I guess that's the reason.

In any case, everything is working beautifully now. Yes, I decided to install Avant Window Navigator as my dock. I'm still waiting for it to have an 'enlarge on mouseover' feature like a Mac, although it fits every other requirement I have at this point.

I played around with various theming options and settled for a darker shade. I personally think it looks really good. Macs tend to be all whitish, so the black theme would set my desktop apart compared to previously where I tried to make it look like a Mac. I realize now it was quite dumb trying to emulate the Mac, since it's definitely NOT a Mac. Ubuntu can do so much better after all.

Problems? So far, none that I can remember. I think there's a slight glitch with Firefox 3 rebooting my X server each time it accesses certain pages, but I think it's a Firefox thing more than an Ubuntu one. Hopefully it gets fixed by the time Firefox 3 gets released proper... together with the rest of my important extensions.

I screwed up... I thought I was doing fine, but I think this was a myth I created for myself...

It was pierced and popped, and I realized just how inadequate I've been...

There was nothing I could do really... and ironically, the only thing I can do, is to look to Him. What else could I have done? I'm not sure, but it would probably be my fault things turned out this way. This is my limit. I can't do any more apart from what I've already done, except pray...

But that would be weakness wouldn't it? Being unable to overcome such problems without needing His help? What strength has a person to make someone change his/her decision? Not that much I wager, unless he chooses to 'force' it through...

Words cannot truly describe how disappointed I truly am... I won't point fingers at anyone, because if I had to, I know it'd be pointed most of all at myself... nonetheless it is disheartening to find the situation as it stands...

And believe it or not, it's affecting me a lot more than other things...

I was reading about Elisha, and the Shunammite woman who made space for Him to come in and stay. It struck me in verse 28...

So she said, "Did I ask a son of my lord? Did I not say, 'Do not deceive me'?"

I find myself asking the same question. I didn't want any of this. I remembered clearly asking Him not to let me walk down this path if it's not meant to be. Yet, in the end, I find that whatever I thought was given by Him, just like her son, is dead. I really felt this was what I was going through. The thing is, the story doesn't end there...

He returned and walked back and forth in the house, and again went up and stretched himself out on him; then the child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes. And he called Gehazi and said, "Call this Shunammite woman." So he called her. And when she came in to him, he said, "Pick up your son." So she went in, fell at his feet, and bowed to the ground; then she picked up her son and went out. - 2 Kings 4:35 - 37

Perhaps the vision that has been given to me is dead. I can only stand and wait for God to revive it, as I seek Him and cry out to Him... Maybe the vision isn't meant to be revived now, I really don't know.

What I DO know, is that He will see me through...

Finally finished my poster. I quite like how it turned out. Printed it in A1 size and it's good to go.

Also finished my TS1101E portfolio. I think it's pretty decent too, so hopefully I get a good grade.

Finally, my last project needs work. Group work though, so will have to complete it soon. Hopefully tomorrow after the presentation I can get on it.

As for me, I'm holding up I guess. Focusing on work, so I'm not going to get distracted. Besides, there are some things that you can do nothing about so why focus on them? Just doing what I can, according to His prompting, and leaving the rest to Him...

I was right. Not too surprising I guess, but it can be a bit worrying...

Does that mean I succumb to it just like that? Of course not! I'll keep fighting! All the way.

Trusting in You and Your word!

I've been taking a break since I submitted my report. It was tiring but I managed to make a decent one I think. Still, I just wanted to stop and do nothing after that, but it's time to start picking up again.

Since it's easiest to complete tasks when you make them concrete, I'll just write it down:

1) Project 2 - Streaming Stored Video Project
2) TS Practical Exam - Mini Production
3) Study for the upcoming papers

CS4274 06-May-2008 Afternoon
SC1101E 28-Apr-2008 Morning
TS1101E 06-May-2008 Evening

Right. So there we have it. Going to have to start work on it now!

I really should stop it already... It won't do to over-assume. I'm taking it as having nothing to do with me... xD

Nerd test part 2. Haha.

There are some things in life that I wished I'd known much earlier. Of course, there are still many things that I have yet to learn, but I'm glad I've come a long way. I think more people ought to learn these as early in life as possible. Here's a list of some things that I believe shows you that you've grown.

1) Make important decisions by yourself. Far too many people have been brought up sheltered by their parents. I'm not saying that parents should ignore their children, but there has to be a limit as to how far you hold your child's hands. Letting them face the world and guiding them along the way is much better than trying to shield them from everything and direct them all the way. This has to be adapted according to age, since younger children probably need more protection, but when adults (read those hitting above 20) are still being shielded from the 'terrors of the world' and told what to do, there's something seriously wrong. It's bad enough that so many people refuse to grow up without having their parents condone it. We should all move past the 'mummy / daddy will settle it for me' stage and start being more independent. I look up to my parents, especially my father, because he learned very early on in life how to take responsibility of his life and make important decisions. That's the thing about parents back then. They knew that once a child got past high school, the child should be making these decisions for himself, like what to do for the rest of their lives. While parents can have preferences, it is the child who ultimately decides and lives out that life. If you'd brought your children up right, they'd know how to come to you if they needed your advice.

2) Realize that the world is not fair. It's great to have a sense of justice. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world. There will be a lot of times when you may have done everything you can, put in your best effort, and still be let down. You will fail in one area of life at one point or another. It's what living is about. No matter how good you think your talents are, in studies, in sports, in music, in arts, in communicating, there's always someone much better than you. I'm not advocating that we just accept this and lose all hope, but identifying that the world owes you nothing is a very good starting point. By realizing that the world is not quite perfect, we prepare ourselves to handle defeat and disappointment. Sure, things may not always go the way you want them to, even if you feel you rightfully deserve it. If you understand the world, then just keep on going without giving up and eventually, the world will give you your chance. It's when people don't grasp this concept that they immediately lose all hope and spirit when faced with an 'unfair' defeat. You don't have to be that weak.

3) Understand that people will let you down. Yes, no matter how much you may trust someone, there are bound to be times when they disappoint you. This does not mean that they are not worthy to be relied on, but that as humans they are also susceptible to mistakes. People who don't get this are usually unforgiving and hold grudges. They need to understand that people cannot entirely fulfill your expectations, particularly if your expectations go beyond their abilities. The closer we get to people, the higher the expectations we have for them, and sometimes it just gets to a point that it cannot be fulfilled. Pointing the finger at them isn't going to help. The worst kinds are those who get all bitter when it does happen. You need to understand that people imperfect.

4) Be open minded. There are many things to learn in this world, and the mark of a great person is one who's willing to evolve and become better. Far too many people I've met say they're simply the way they are and cannot change. I believe this to be a fallacy, and is more stubbornness than anything else. Being closed minded is simply being unable to accept that there are alternatives, and that you have the ability to make changes. Just because you were brought up one way doesn't mean you can only make decisions and think in that way. You have the choice of evaluating what's good and what's not. True, changes do not come overnight, but believing that you CAN change is important, because without it, you'd try once, fail, and give up. The sad truth is that so many people simply stay 'the way they are' and years later, they're still the same, facing the same problems, doing the same things, making the same mistakes. They were never open minded enough to consider alternatives to their attitudes and choices. They are bound by their close mindedness. Being open minded is a CHOICE, as are a lot of other things in life. You have to be able to accept the things you have no choice over (like your height or family background) but that there are a lot of areas in life that you DO (like your attitude, actions, words)! Making mistakes in your attitudes, actions and words is fine, but making the same mistakes over and over and claiming "I'm just like that" is a lousy excuse for you to not even try to change.

This list is by no means exhaustive, but it does provide a glimpse of the things that people, including myself, ought to understand so that they can live life the best they can. Learning this in your head is not enough as it has to be transformed into attitudes and actions, but knowing this is the first step to living a better life.