Personal Blather!

Just a short post from me. Check this out:

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I want to watch!!!

我的家有四个人。我的爸爸在马来西亚工作。我的妈妈没有工作。 她很喜欢做菜。她做的菜很好吃， 我很喜欢。

我还有一位姐姐。她比我大两年。她现在在新加坡工作。她有一位男朋友。她不太高，可是很美丽。她也对我这个弟弟很好。我们两个都很忙，所以每个月见面部多次， 可是我们两个都很好。

我的家只有几个人，不是很大，可是我们都很相爱，也很开心。我很爱我的家人。

My first attempt at a Chinese essay. I can hear the laughter already... *sigh*

Yes, it's just like a 7 year old's essay, I won't try to deny the fact that it's sad to the point it's almost pathetic... but AT LEAST I'm no longer that much of a banana...

I think I'll stick with English thank you very much...

No, I'm not talking about computer scripting, but rather script writing in the literal sense. No, I don't fancy myself a truly artistic person capable of grasping and enjoying 'the beauty of art' although I do have a certain amount of respect for such pieces and the people involved. It is beyond my capabilities, and it doesn't particularly pique my interest either... I DO however, have interest in witty interesting (in the not so 'chim' sense) storylines or scripts, especially if they're funny and doesn't leave me wondering what in the world happened in the story...

Being in my hall production for 2 years running, I can honestly say that it's quite a lot of hard work, but a lot of fun. The 'success' of the production however, relies VERY heavily on the script. I had a hand in writing part of the script in my second year, but in all honesty, it was quite a small part. I wasn't the director so I didn't have the right to dictate the script. Still, I was given the privilege to help out... so I did. To be entirely truthful, I wasn't a hundred percent for the script that year. Perhaps it was the fact that I take concert as something put up by hall residents, mainly FOR hall residents. It is a production which should target more than anything else, the hall residents. Sad to say, even though we are all university students, most of us lack the capacity to understand and fully appreciate something of artistic value. There are those who can grasp the underlying message and appreciate the beauty of subtle portrayal of certain issues, but these rare gems are far and few in between. MOST of us would be quite happy to sit and laugh at a comedy, full of slapstick, crude jokes which I myself admit, is very entertaining. To put it succinctly, hall residents are looking for entertainment, not art.

DRHama (our hall drama team) put up two skits which I would like to compare and contrast. The first was a 'beautiful' piece done during Rhazz in my first year. While I do get the gist of the story, the skit was artistically done, with the main objective as provoking thought and trying to get people to appreciate that value. Unfortunately, being the unappreciative, less cultured people that most of them are, hall residents were totally turned off by it. A large number didn't get the 'chim' story and simply "didn't like it". In contrast, the skit put up for Phoenix Fest this year was simple, wild, full of 'lame' humour and had almost zero meaning behind it other than to retell a story in a funny way. There was plenty of laughter and the crowd was in stitches. The feedback after was that the skit was awesome. Obviously, hall residents enjoyed the entertaining skit much more than the artistic one.

Perhaps it is just that students nowadays are less 'cultured', in that they view 'art' in it's abstract form, as dull, boring, uninteresting and irrelevent. No, it is not a blanket statement, as there are always exceptions. However, I lament how a lot of university students have thrown aside these 'boring' pieces in favour of the more hip, happening and exciting pieces. They prefer entertainment to art, meaning they would choose to visit the cinema instead of an art museum, pick an action movie to an artistic drama, or a new CD instead of an abstract art piece. Being 'artistic' is equated to being boring, dull and uninteresting. I understand that people can have preferences, but the fact that most simply do not give art a chance is sad. It may be that the more sophisticated people are perceived to be the ones who will enjoy it, and students don't particularly want to be viewed that way... why that is is beyond me.

That said, I am pretty certain that hall residents look forward to a funny, simple story with good entertainment value and an interesting plot when it comes to hall productions. Once again, I am not the director, so it is not my place to dictate how the script would go. However, I'd opt for one which will suit the larger portion of the audience. Art is fine and good, but nothing beats having the audience laugh at the jokes, to have them identify with the characters portrayed, to have a good storyline and plot which takes the audience for a ride; In short, one with good entertainment value. It would appeal more to the residents and that would make it more successful than trying to get them to enjoy a 'chim' production. I say this not because I am against anything artistic or 'chim', nor am I a shallow, uncultured person who does not know how to grasp such things. I'm a pragmatic person, and it is only practical to appeal to your target audience. Concert is NOT to portray an artistic rendition of something, but rather is an activity to have the residents enjoy a time of fellowship as well as be entertained.

Just some of my thoughts. A little convoluted perhaps, but it happens to be, to me, the essence of script writing for a hall production in this time and age.

Conflict is funny. It is the one things which brings out the worst in man. It can be positive in the sense that it can bring out the best results in a given situation. However, it is very much something we all try to avoid because it largely generates discomfort, feelings of resentment and may escalate to violence. People have opinions about just about anything that matters to them. Some are vocal with them, saying what they feel and making it known. Others are more passive, preferring to keep their views to themselves. I am more of the former kind, which leads me to saying or expressing some things which I feel strongly about.

Arguments and debates are part and parcel of conflict. It may be long and convoluted like in a court case, or so short that it is almost non-existent, like in a bar brawl. The kind of argument that is benneficial is actually the ones which provoke thought, contain as little malice as possible, is non-personal, and with the participants all truly having a single solid objective. This is extremely hard to achieve, and I myself have failed more than once in this area. Refreshing debates are fun though, it helps sharpen your mind, give you new perspectives on things, and strengthens your reasoning skills... at least that's what I strive for.

I think that it's a skill. It requires knowledge, critical thinking and sound reasoning, but it's something which can be learned and sharpened over time. Which is also why I feel that sometimes, all it takes is a sharp wit and a reasonably sound logic to push through an idea. If you can answer all questions raised substantially, who can doubt that the idea isn't feasible? Of course, it takes facts, but every idea has sound reasoning behind it, and you'd be foolish to push for something with no basis. The whole trick is to structure your argument to sell your points and convince as many people as you can that you're right. Even if you don't have airtight, clear-cut proof, if you argue well enough, casting doubt on the opposition, it can win you the battle. Facts can be twisted to support or refute almost any claim. There can never be an 'absolute' argument because there are unlimited number of ways to view a situation.

The most important thing about arguments, is to remember to keep to the issue at hand and not get carried away with emotions. If things do get heated, take a breather... that's what I try to do when it gets too much... sometimes I remember to... sometimes... but I'm still learning... I really want to be a rational, thinking, logical and smart debator, meaning I don't ruffle feathers unnecessarily and belittle others, or get worked up when others do it to me. It's not easy, but it's definitely not impossible. I also hope to be the kind who debates not for the sake of debating or causing conflict (even though sometimes it is fun), but to make things better for everyone and to come to an amicable conclusion. Keeping that in mind is the most important thing in a discussion...

Yes, just some random musings about things... 'Deep thoughts' perhaps... but still interesting nontheless...

Oh, my wishlist is not a list of MUST GET things... To make it clear to everyone, it's a WISH LIST, not a MUST GET LIST... it's fine if I don't get any... not all wishes come true, in fact I believe most of them don't... And no, a wish is not the same as a vision... It's hard to tell them apart sometimes, but I think one is when you can work progressively towards, and the other you can't. I wish... nah... won't happen... >.< Guess I need to just suck it in and live with it...

These tests are normally done for fun, but surprisingly this one kind of hit the mark IMHO, even though I didn't know I was quite being tested (the questions seem totally unrelated) *shrug*

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger. You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause. You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you! A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

I'm the kind of person who seldom shops, don't feel the urge to buy a lot of things, and usually only purchase things that are really needed (although I occasionally splurge). Compulsive shopping isn't a problem, neither is overspending (I seem to be underspending in fact... ) Still, there have always been things that I would like to buy for myself but either feel it's not worth it or not quite the time to get it... at least for a period of time. Just taking this opportunity to share what are the things which I'm considering to actually buy in the next few months.

1) A new handphone. I think I'm the only person around still carrying a phone WITHOUT A COLOUR SCREEN, although I quite like my current one. It's old sure, but I keep my things in good condition, and it still looks good IMHO. My trusty 8310 has not been dropped more than five times... but I'm afraid it's starting to slowly die off. I get occasional lags in the phone interface which although not fatal can get annoying. So is the periodic 'auto-shutdown' (which I suspect is because the battery is loose). The phone is worth a lot to me, because the contact of almost everyone I know is in there... it holds great sentimental value and I won't part with it even if I get a new phone... So, what phone do I have my eyes on? Frankly, there aren't any simply because I'm waiting for a few months for my contract to expire (my contract was for a 6100 which my dear sister is currently using...). I don't need a state of the art one, but I WOULD like one with bluetooth if possible... Any good recommendations?

2) THIS baby. I've been looking to get my own guitar for a while now, but due to the fact that I think it wasn't quite worth it back then, I put it on hold. Now, I have a little more reason to possibly purchase this beauty. The pricetag is a hefty SG$1080 which although is roughly the price I'd pay for a guitar, isn't a small sum to fork out. I don't even dare to convert the price because I'd probably fall out of my chair. It may seem like a luxury, which is what I keep telling myself, but in the long run, I enjoy playing the guitar and investing in one isn't that bad a decision... perhaps I'll think it over more and consult my parents for their opinions... Wouldn't want to stretch their budget.

3) This blog. What do I mean? I was thinking of buying a little corner in cyberspace for me to put up my blog... among many possible other things. It's pretty cool to actually own your own domain, much like dear mk here. It doesn't cost all that much either, but I just feel that perhaps for now it's not quite the most practical thing to do... In a year or two maybe, just not now. Why? Because I already have a little space hosted by my dear faculty allowing me to put up certain things online. Add the fact that this blog is free too, there may not be a need just yet to pay for web hosting. I was looking at Exabytes (recommended by mk), and I found their deals pretty attractive. Add the fact that they're a Malaysian based company with excellent service, I don't see why I wouldn't use them... I guess I just need to find the 'opportune moment' to get a host.

4) A decent digital camera. I don't need a fancy shmancy one, just a plain, small, simple one will do. I don't need extremely high resolutions, but it shouldn't be a 1 megapixel one or something like that. A small one is handy since unlike ladies, I don't carry a handbag to place assorted stuff like makeup and possibly a digital camera when I go out. If you're wondering why the blog is lacking in the pictorial department, it's because I don't have the means to capture the things I want to... I'd start uploading and sharing more pictures here if I had one. I'd like one whithin the SG$200 price range, or cheaper if it fits my requirements.Although it's nice to have, I may not be using it as often as I'd like to, but it's just tiresome to have only one or two people around with cameras for all our birthday celebrations or other hall activities. It'd be cool to take pictures in church too... so this is in my wishlist as well... If this gets satisfied I 'might' start cam-whoring... then again, i'm not all that photogenic...

5) A nice MG model of Strike Freedom. I know it's not out yet, but I'm drooling over the HG model already. I have the MG Freedom, and since the time I took those pictures I've done a little panel lining to it, making it look quite impressive (IMHO). I've seen the Lightning Edition and although it's nice, I still prefer the MG series... It's more authentic and isn't so blocky. I know PGs are better, but they cost way a lot more and I don't think I can afford the money or the space... 1/100 is still my choice, and although I don't even know when it's due to be out, but hey, I can look forward to it... so it's in my wishlist.

6) I was a pretty big fan of console games when I was younger... but as I grew up, I started to shun them. I think my PC makes a better companion, since it can do much much more than just play games. However, sad to say, there aren't many games coming out for the PC anymore, at least none to look forward to. My outlook on the Video Games Industry isn't particularly supportive of consoles, but I AM looking forward to the new generation of them. The XBOX 360 is out, but I'm kind of a fan of Sony, so we'll see how the PS3 will turn out. The much rumoured FFXII has been released in Japan, but since my Japanese is next to non-existant, I guess I'll have to wait for the International/North America version. Oh wait, it's on the PS2... *gasp* Guess that means no FFXII for me... Next on my wishlist, which would probably not come anyway since I'll probably wait ultra long before I consider buying anything, would be a 3rd Generation Console. Which one I have no idea... heck, I don't even know if I'm ever going to buy any.

So there you have it. My wishlist and what I want to buy... In all honesty I wouldn't be surprised if I actually got none of them. It's nice to own some of these 'luxuries', but they're not necessity, and I'm not desperate for them... At least not yet... Now, if they were given to me as a GIFT, that'd be a different story... *wink*

I need to... I need to start being passionate again... I need to feel the eagerness to wake up every morning... I need to feel the rush when I know there's something I can look forward to... Getting with the motions is fine and good, but if you lack the fervency it hardly becomes anything worth doing.

Allow me this chance, to display my rant,
I may not deserve it but ignore it I can't,
What I'm going through now, I hope and I want,
To get it off my chest, though help me it shan't.

Life may or may not be like a box of chocolates,
You may never ever know just what you're going to get,
But sometimes you buy them, knowing well the going rates,
Meaning you also know, just what to expect.

What if the chocolate loses it's flavour?
What if it is neither sweet nor bitter?
Wouldn't you think it might perhaps be better,
To have the whole lot bitter altogether?

I think I'd prefer to have total bitterness,
Then I can look forward to perhaps total sweetness,
But when it's neither and totally tasteless,
Time passes by but I remain motionless.

To be lost in your world, knowing not what to do,
Is truly hard to handle, though we may play it cool,
I know life is tough, I go through it too,
Just suck it all up, or you'd be just a fool.

If one were bereaved of every last bit of hope,
Surely one would be inclined to be bitter,
But to be unsure if there exists even a little,
It hurts far worse since one can't see the future.

For you know not if, or why, or how,
You just close your eyes and remember your vow,
The lost you experience may just be for now,
But if it proves otherwise, though you cry, take a bow.

For God can restore, truly He does,
Just look to Him and trust in His love,
For what can man do except have faith in His words,
That He will guide us, while we continue to serve!

Just read a friend's MSN nickname... I think it holds true...

The opposite of love isn't hate... it's indifference...

I've slowed down my blogging recently... I thought it might be good not to post too many back to back since those who don't visit all that frequently might just have to read quite a couple of posts back if I did... Furthermore, there hasn't really been all that much interesting happening lately... at least none that I can recall...

The internet is a very interesting place... it's a huge library that let's you find just about ANYTHING you want... virtual or otherwise. There are no rules governing the internet, at least none that extend beyond certain limits, making it thrive solely on the principles of it's users. Morality and ethics are still existantial although minimal IMHO. That is expected since users are still governed by the existing laws in real life. Anarchy isn't quite the way to define the internet, but it's probably the one place which comes pretty close.

The internet isn't the safest of places. We have to look out for malicious software, viruses, worms and trojans, illegal or unwarranted infiltration of systems, illegal data corruption, cyber-attacks such as ddos attacks... the list is endless, and this doesn't even cover other moral and ethical issues like pornography, phreaking, information on how to cause trouble (think bomb making) in real life... even on the personal level, flaming, spam and other form of virtual abuse although causing minimal effect has escalated on numerous occasions into stabbings and other physical manifestations of that anger. Believe me, it isn't the safest place to leave a child.

Of course, there ARE benefits. A digital mega-library with all the information ANYONE could ever need is certainly not unwelcome. Need help for a cookie recipe? How about statistical data of the population of an African country? Need meteorological data? Help with homework? Fictional works to entertain? Need diagrams and pictures for clearer understanding? I have no doubt that you can actually find them on the internet, if you knew where to look. I believe I've mentioned before that when in doubt, your best friend is still Google™. This is the single most effective resource for information available in the world. Add the fact that we have video streaming, e-banking, video conferencing, internet telephone, online shopping and e-mails, we have an all in one package for companies and home users to conveniently utilise.

So what's the whole point? The internet is neutral, much like a car. You can use it for the purpose it was intended for, which is to disseminate information, but if is often abused by certain parties and the result is the internet we have now. Personally, I kind of like it. To be dead honest, if the internet was governed much like the real world, it would most certainly lose a lot of appeal. Things like free software (open source for example) and freedom of speech are rare enough as it is... and if the internet loses these characteristics, I may not be as keen to go virtual. I'm already pretty inhibited physically, having to mind my speech and speak only that which is 'politically correct and acceptable'... not that i'm an advocate for conflict, but sometimes I just have certain dissatisfactions which due to my hot-headedness needs to find an outlet. Not to mention NOTHING is free in the physical... not even food... so of course it'd be cool to have free software... (I personally like sourceforge... they host a lot of good open source software).

I like the internet now... it plays a pretty big part of my life... although that doesn't mean I neglect the physical world. I still hang out with friends and do sports occasionally, but I love it when I come back, face my computer and watch that latest episode of Mai Otome for example... that's something to look forward to each week. I enjoy surfing, blogging, chatting, watching videos on YouTube... especially between breaks when I'm watching webcasts or doing my tutorials or online assessments. My life revolves a lot around the internet... it may change in the future but I still think it's one of the coolest things that mankind ever invented.

Another personality test, although I don't know the validity or accuracy.


My Personal Dna Report

Never saw myself as earth/imaginitive, but I think the rest kind of hit the mark... at least if not the bullseye then certainly the area around it. I won't vouch for the credibility though, since I truly believe that personality is something one can see only in relation to others, so I leave it to you to tell me how valid it is.

This won't be a long post because it's late and I need to rest... I just feel like I needed to post this...

I attended Joycelyn's 21st birthday just yesterday, and it was quite fun. The bunch of us met up and just caught up with each other... again. I hope we helped to make her day... although I must admit I didn't really do all that much...

Now the thing which really caught my eye was the quote in Joycelyn's blog. It's in the title of this post. I can't help but feel that this quote is so true. I remember my 21st birthday and how fun it was, how truly blessed I felt, and how for the few times I can remember I was ecstatic. A lot of things have happened since then, but I really feel that this quote is very true. I never expected anything then because I knew it was the exam period (my birthday always falls on exam period). However, what I really really appreciate more than the gifts, are the people that make my life so meaningful. I know that people come and go in our lives, but I truly wished that all of us could remain friends forever and that the relationships that I have would not grow cold... sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't.

I am very grateful to all of you who come into my life... I truly believe that God must have placed you in my life for a reason... and I thank you all for just being there, because your very presence make all the difference. Every time my birthday comes, what I truly want more than gifts and presents, is the presence of the people who mean the most to me... but I don't always get what I want... I understand that, because not everyone has all the time in the world for me... But I'm very sure that I'd be happier to have your company than to merely receive a present from you. That said, I'd of course be the happiest if they both came hand in hand! As long as it's not the case of neither...

Even if noone were there, I know You'd be, and I'm grateful for that, more than I could ever express. Thank you, Lord, for giving so much to me. I pray only that I would be able to do that which You want me to do, to NOT do that which You DON'T want me to do, and to keep looking at You through it all. Amen.

There are a good number of 'interests' that I have which may or may not actually be my passion. The difficulty is seperating the temporary interests from the passions. Is there a need to differentiate them? Ordinarily, I'd say no. However, as I look at myself, I realise that I'm the type of person who needs a good solid definition of both in order to get a clearer picture on what I should and should not concentrate on and invest my time in.

Apart from God (it's a passionate love definitely), what are the other things which inspire me, which I enjoy doing, for which I have the constant drive to run for. Is it music? Computers? Journalism? *cough*Sports*cough*? Anime and Manga? Gaming? Reading? Designing? I enjoy all of them... and to a great degree, I put in a lot of effort into some of them to the point that it may just become tedious boring and uninteresting. This is bound to happen to any interest... because I believe that too much of anything is bad anyway. However, without focus, I really feel that although I may do quite OK in some of these things (probably average or a little above average), I excel in NONE of them. It reminds me of the way I introduced myself back in JC. (People were quite irritated because they didn't like that I seemed so 'high and mighty'... but then things have changed somewhat since then) Asked to introduced myself and my interests, I told them I could be aptly described as a Jack of all Trades, but Master of None. It still holds true today.

Let's start with my 'seemingly' musical background. I 'know' how to play the piano, violin, drums, guitar, harmonica and if it's counted, the recorder. Granted my experience in some of them could equate to literally ZERO, but for others I seem to do pretty OK. Strangely, the ones I excel in the most are those which I had little or no formal training but picked up on my own (namely the guitar and drums), although to be perfectly honest my standard isn't even worth mentioning. There are so many better players everywhere and I don't think myself as anywhere near 'good'. Likewise, my 'skills' at singing is far below what would be considered good, as is my skills in computers, gaming and designing. I enjoy doing all of these, I really do. However, I just don't seem to focus much into any ONE of them and really excelling in them. Whether or not this is a good thing is debatable.

To focus on a passion means to sacrifice time and effort into doing one particular thing (something I believe the Japanese are very good at). They dedicate themselves as much as possible to that ONE thing they enjoy doing and although they may not turn out the best in it, they know that they focussed and worked hard to achieve what they could. Sadly, I can't say the same for myself. I don't see any ONE interest that I have that would have me drop most others for the sake of pursuing it. This has however, caused me to be in the above mentioned dilemma, since I fail to really excel in ANYTHING. I truly feel that one of the best ways to describe me, is mediocrity. I feel like Archie Andrews™ who's constantly being defined as the most average teenager (or in my case, person) minus his good luck and the girls. I don't think there's anything wrong with being average in many different things, but honestly, it isn't gratifying to be 'broad' in terms of knowledge and skills, instead of 'deep'.

For starters, people remember the greats of different areas, not the average joe's. It is the people who excel in a particular field that make history, that are considered successful, that achieve greatness, not the people who are average in everything. Not that recognition is everything, but honestly, noone average has ever been considered successful, and neither has anyone who moderately succeeds in a lot of different areas. I may claim that I enjoy living my life this way and that I want just an average, simple, mediocre life. However, I don't believe ANYONE truly feels that way inside. We all have dreams of success, of achieving our dreams, of becoming what we want to become, of accomplishing great feats, and this comes only through focus.

That said, it is still not clear to me what exactly I'd like to excel in. I enjoy doing a variety of things, but I really feel that this results in me being an average all rounder. That doesn't speak very highly of myself. I will however say this: interests and passions are judged based on achievements, in terms of skills, in terms of knowledge... but they are a far cry from one of the most important thing that we should focus on in life, character. Interests and passions can help to mould and shape our character, and it is very important that we do so. I'm still thinking long and hard about whether or not I ought to give up certain interests and focus on other passions, or whether things are perfectly fine, that I just want to remain mediocre. I'm also wondering that if I WERE to choose to focus only on certain passions, which would they be? I'm further contemplating what I want to achieve out of life, in so many areas, and I certainly hope God gives me the wisdom to choose the right ones. What are the right ones? Those that are according to what He wants me to do...

I just finished a tiring but enjoyable Phoenix Fest 2006. It was pretty cool although the crowd was a bit small (who am I kidding, it was really small). Started off with a song by band (I was on the drums) and we played a relatively slow number called 'Help the Aged'. It wasn't spectacular but considering the number of practices we had were few, I'd say we pulled it off pretty well... This was followed by a choir performance (technically two... but well... *shrug*) but I was warming up so I didn't get to see much of it. Then came my dance item, which was really tiring. I think street dance or whatever it is Jonathan choreo-ed isn't for me... I don't have the stamina to keep up... (which probably also tells me I should start exercising more, although that won't happen unless I decide to haul my lazy ass up and start doing some running)

The rest of the show was entertaining to say the least. We had seniors and final years performing too, and they were really cool. Willy and gang put up a good item which was funny yet looked great. The senior choir too did a good job, especially their rendition of Green Day's Basket Case. Jie Xiao's dance was really 'Pao-werful'. DRHama was really good too... although I had a bit of a hard time hearing the dialog (which was quite witty IMHO). CME put on a good show too, although as far as instruments go, I'm not much into classical... but don't get me wrong... I like sentimental songs... and I think +Unplugged did remarkably well too.

And yes, I will thank the Tech team. They always go unappreciated, but they were really accomodating and I really take my hats off to them. The sounds were definitely up to mark, especially for the senior band performance. Thanks to culture comm too for putting the whole event up!

So is that it? Just a report on Phoenix Fest? Not entirely... I'd like to address an issue I noticed about performances in hall... something which may go unnoticed by a lot of people...

Is it just me or is the quality of performances dropping slowly but surely? We see seniors doing this and seniors doing that and they always put up spectacular performances... even though they may not belong to that activity. Since I'm not quite as senior, I really see that the quality of their performances outstrip ours. Is it because we lack practice? Is the problem because of skill? Is it because we're doing things just because we have to, whereas for them they do it because they WANT to? Do we lack the passion? Will we ever reach that stage where we will ALSO outperform our juniors in the future? Would that be a good or bad thing? Difficult questions to answer... But one thing for sure, the 'juniors' in hall need to buck up and hone their skills... the performances can be good, but I believe we still have a long way to go... all of us...

Not only that, but I think appreciation is on the decline. Looking at the number of people around, either it's just a case of it receiving such a mediocre support because there are mid-terms, or people are just apathetic. I know that not everyone agrees with hall life, but it's just sad that so many couldn't care less. Yes, the performance may not be great... but I really think that it's not bad, and coming down to destress a little wouldn't hurt. I mean, life entertainment isn't all that bad... plus it's only for 2 hours or so... Guess I'm just ranting... but it just makes my suspicion that halls in NUS are sinking deeper and deeper into oblivion stronger.

Performances need commitment, practice and passion. If I have any two but lack the other I won't be able to put up a good performance. Teamwork is important too, since you can't do a lot by yourself (solo performances possibly, but how many people actually go solo?) I think performance artists should put in at least this much if they want to perform. Otherwise, don't bother. It would be a waste of other people's time and other people's effort. No, it didn't happen to me, but I really think that we ought to enjoy doing it, commit ourselves to it, and work on it. Then the performance would be a hit... but that's just my opinion...

I finished PoP. It was a good short game that was interesting, fun, realistic (yes I still think it looks realistic), puzzle filled game. The fact that you took at most one hour to play it made sure it was just a destress tool...

Been pretty busy lately with a lot of things coming up (Phoenix Fest mostly)... and I'm dancing as well as playing the drums. Had a mid term today too... and it wasn't all that bad... I think... I hope...

I also just learned that one of my friends may have a medical condition. I'm praying hard that things will go well for her. She's worried, but I guess the only thing I can do is pray for her...

I had a mid term today... and it was... tough. I did what I could really...

I decided to take up producer for next year's concert. I really do want to try and make it a good one... and I even have some ideas already. Now isn't the time to think too much about it though... and if possible, get as much done in the holidays so I don't have to worry too much about other things...

And yes, this is just a small update. No, I don't have anything I want to write about... not yet anyway... Don't seem to have the time or mood to write... maybe after tomorrow...

I've always been a big fan of good games which may be old, but embody the very essence of gaming. Sure, cool graphics, awesome effects, realistic surroundings and surreal sound effects may be excellent in a game, but a lot of games that come out now just don't have the 'wow' factor some of the older simpler games have. By older and simpler, I'm referring to PC games such as Lucasarts™ adventure games (SamnMax, Full Throttle, DoTT, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, and the unforgettable Monkey Island series), Sierra™ adventure games (King Quest series), Flight simulators like Lucasarts™ X-Wing vs Tie Fighter, FPS like Wolfenstein 3D, Doom, Quake, Strategy games like Westwood Studio's C&C and Red Alert. Even console gaming has changed, and I remember some classics like the good old scrolling beat-em-up type games (like Bare Knuckle / Streets of Rage for the Sega Megadrive system), regular beat-em-ups (Street Fighter, X-Men, Mortal Kombat) and scrolling platform games (Mario Brothers and Sonic the Hedgehog). These were what I grew up playing and till now, I simply have a soft spot for them.

Recently, I had the opportunity to replay some of these classics (Theme Hospital anyone?) and I suddenly realised that despite how 'horrible' the graphics may be now, it is still superb to play and has the most important ingredient that any game of this type ought to have... the element of FUN! Now I'm not going to say that all new games don't incorporate this in their games, but what I do want to emphasize is that I don't find the appeal in a lot of the current games that seem to be released. For starters, I'm a PC person, meaning my gaming world is more geared towards the PC than the console. Perhaps I just don't move with the times, but I just don't really agree with many console games. FPS are my main gripe... NOTHING can replace the old mouse+keyboard when it comes to fast reaction. I agree that it depends on the genre, meaning football, beat-em-ups and the like would be better of in consoles, and those requiring precision movement for the PC. Looking at the current releases however, I must say that Halo 2 for example was released for the X-Box, and I still don't see a PC version. Come on, it's an FPS, leave it to the good old mouse instead of trying to do a second rate job by a second rate controller. This is precisely the reason I refuse to play the game, even though I know that it's cool.

Technicalities aside, there simply aren't any good upcoming releases that actually have me drooling over. None that make me excited enough to look forward to a release date. None that I find remotely facinating... perhaps it's because my choice genre is one where people actually use their brains and enjoy the story of the game instead of merely blasting every moving thing like the mindless roles we tend to take in new games. Perhaps it is also because I'm not so much into eye-candy; so what if the game is the most realistic game? It's not how realistic the game is that makes it fun... it's the gameplay, the story, the appeal. I personally don't need to have every single one of my senses tell me that it seems real before I can enjoy a game. Even if the graphics were really awesome, and things were really realistic, or perhaps because it is TOO realistic, I'll start not to like the game... it'd be too much of a chore to handle it like in a 'real' situation.

But I digress. Perhaps I'm just a sentimentalist reliving the golden era of computer games, who enjoys the simpler things in life, who loves the conceptually witty but may not be as technically advanced type of games. All I do know is, I certainly enjoyed playing a lot of these old games, and even now, if I can find them I would still choose them over say, Doom 3. Not that it's necessarily bad just because it's new, but I prefer originality and the fun factor. I'm half disappointed in Lucasarts™ (yes, now you know... I absolutely love their works) for not releasing Full Throttle 2. I'm unhappy because I can't get to play it, but I'm happy because they realise that the quality of the games they produced before have such a high reputation and standard that it's hard to meet. This also tells me that they KNOW what fans of their games (people like me) actually want... not necessarily eye-candy that makes us melt, but more importantly, a game with good playability, plot and has a lot more wit than mindless grinding or fragging. Hopefully, they'll be able to come up with more such games in the future... I certainly have high hopes for them.

God is good. Just as I posted about perseverence, (see previous post) God spoke those exact same words to me in CG today. I am remembered that God loves me, in spite of what I am, He just loves me for me, not because of what I do. He encourages me and no matter what I face, I just smile when I'm in His presence.

This was one busy week (explains the sporadic infrequent posts). I have another tight one coming up, so I'm getting the rest I need wherever I can... God give me strength...

I look weird... been peeling all over the past few days after the 'lobsterfied' event last week. I hope it's healing well... I don't mind the sun really, but I'm just the kind of person that can't get a tan... I just burn, turn red, start peeling, and a few days later I'm white again...

I don't really have much to write, so I won't attempt to drag this too much. No pressing issues to blog about either, at least none that I can think of at this point. Except maybe the interesting discussion I had in the taxi today about how some people give yes and no answers, which may seem to be the type of answer that has no stand. I personally think that it depends on the question, since no matter what issue it is, there's always bound to be a counter-argument, with the exception of what's mentioned explicitly in the Bible (at least that's the case for me). I'd like to think that everytime I take any stand on any issue, I'd want it to be based on biblical principles... or if it's ambiguous, according to my own convictions. Despite what some people may think, I don't expect everyone to take my point of view on any issue which may arise, but I know that personally, I like the idea of moderation in any issue. Simply put, my stand will almost always be that too much of anything will be bad, so regardless of what the issue is, if it's in moderation, I don't really have a problem with it... However, that also depends on the situation, and since I'm not bringing any issue up, I'll leave it at that.

I remembered something today which struck me as very real. Life isn't mostly about the exciting things that happen, it's very much in the mundane, ordinary, boring things that we HAVE to go through (even if it's mechanically) every single day of our lives. I like to look forward to exciting days, like when I had an outing planned, or a celebration, or a date... something that makes me get up and out of the usual cycle of things and go and do something different. It gives me a lot of drive and motivation to go through the day well, and even if it doesn't, I can always tell myself that things are going to be great. But they don't come often, and sometimes, like now, they seem non-existant...

I know that we can't live life going from one event to another, from one party to another, from one meeting to another... it's not just ABOUT all that, although it's important too. There are things like sitting down and reading (could be studying), preparation, research, work, practice, all the behind the scenes work for those 'events'. I know that events are important, which is why I involve myself in them, but life isn't just about events... but I won't go too much into it since I already did. I guess I'm just trying to vent my frustrations and remind myself that doing these mundane, everyday things are part of life, that it builds character (which I pray and I pray is happening), that it is temporary and those exciting things will come again.

In the meantime, it's all a matter of perseverence, to continue working hard at getting things done the best way I know how. I've been doing my work as much as I can, but I'm still disappointed in myself for not successfully doing more. I feel down, burdened, in a valley... and some of you know that things in my life are falling apart everywhere I turn. I'm not going to blame anyone, or start going into depression now, I'm just stating a fact; that's the way my life is right now. I'm working my way out of it, but it takes some time... especially since I think this is the lowest period I've ever experienced. I look to God, and even if I may not see my breakthrough just yet, I continue to trust in Him.

These few days have been really hectic... Been 'working' from the time I wake up almost to the time I sleep. Of course, it's not just school work, I continue to pray for strength. Been needing more sleep than ever, and I probably won't get it this weekend either. Tomorrow is pretty light though, so I pray that at least I can get SOME rest then...

Still considering future prospects in hall, what direction I want to go... Lord please reveal to me Your will...